Review of Massage Service Advertised by “Mary”
External Link/Members OnlyThe Advertisement
I came across an advertisement on Gumtree promoting relaxing Thai massage. The ad described a tranquil environment with candles and soft music, offering:
• Thai hot oil massage
• Full-body massage (with or without oil)
• Thai relaxing massage
As I enjoy trying new providers, I decided to TOFT (Take One For the Team).
Communication and Location
Communication was straightforward and handled via text. I received the address promptly, which was easy to locate—a shop front in a housing estate Canterbury. Parked in the Aldi close by.
First Impressions
Upon arrival, the door was opened with the individual partially hidden behind it, as is often the case. Once inside, I saw she was a thai women, maybe 50 years of age. She had a slim figure and was attractive enough, but had the worse teeth I have ever seen. Just protruding and yellowing! Despite this, I let my wiener do the thinking.
I was led to a sparsely furnished room containing a small massage table. The cost was quoted as £100 for an hour.
The Experience
I undressed while she left briefly to store the payment. When she returned, she was wearing only a bra and knickers, signalling that this was not going to be a legitimate therapeutic massage.
Her accent was thick thai, and at time I found it hard to understand her. The massage itself was minimal—a roughly 20-minute back rub using cold baby oil, which was not particularly relaxing or skillful. She then asked me to turn over and began a hurried manual finish. Touching was allowed to some extent, but she refused access to her chest, explaining that her recently enlarged breasts were still sore. She did briefly show them to me, and they looked good, though this didn’t enhance the overall experience.
The session ended abruptly after I finished, with no effort to provide the full time advertised or continue the massage. She cleaned me up efficiently but made it clear that the appointment was over. I was out of the door within 30 minutes of arrival, despite booking for an hour.
Verdict
Unfortunately, this was a disappointing experience and not worth the £100 paid. The advertised service and reality were completely mismatched, with the massage itself being lacklustre and rushed.
While she is an attractive woman (sans the teeth) and could potentially be quite popular with more effort and adherence to the advertised service, this encounter fell far short of expectations. I won’t be returning and cannot recommend this service based on my experience.
