I landed in Jakarta on Wednesday morning after what proved to be one of my longest trips to date. 16 hours in all with a 1 hour delay. I flew from Heathrow via Singapore (Economy Class) to Jakarta International Airport and decided to make the most of the day to get the essentials.
It was hot on that day, 34 degrees and sunny. I made my way to the immigration desk. It has been a wee bit of a clusterfuck as I was not able to get my visa online due to issues with uploading my picture. So that was a worst case scenario. No clear indication was provided. Angeles and Manila are better equipped as they speak English, something which will become a recurrent theme in this report. So I ended up in a queue that moved slowly and I was asked to fill 1 form for the Visa (while in the queue), 1 form for the health and 1 form for the customs, all done via QR code. The airport is equipped with e-gates as well so if you are from a number of countries (including UK and Europe), you should exit quite easily.
I also tried my Chase card in one of the airport ATMs and it worked perfectly. I then purchased a SIM card, 6GB for 1 week for 100K IDR, the cheapest I could find, it is at the very end of the airport. Others will try to flog more expensive 220K IDR, a similar theme in Manila for e.g. Once the SIM was activated and loaded, I looked for the Gojek booth outside, usually handled by ladies. They helped me out with the e-paperwork and I was on my way in no time to Classic. The whole process took me about 1 hour (from debarking to jumping in a gojek) and it took me another 50 minutes. Yes Jakarta traffic is bad, on par with Manila.
Classic the hotel
Classic is a classic, one of the few naughty girl-tels where a bordello is attached to a hotel. Travel is another one but I didn’t get to visit it because, well, you can’t book a room via the usual websites. It is huge and the rare pictures available online do not show that. I reckon that the 6 levels cover more than 1 hectare as it has a multi level parking as well attached to it. It is built like a mini-mall as it has some shops and 2 restaurants (including the 24/7 hotel restaurant). The hotel is managed by Yosephine and seems to be operating separately from Classic, the bordello.
Classic Hotel is rated 3-stars and that’s about it. The rooms are relatively small and rudimentary. You do get a safe and a fridge; but in my room the aircon was noisy and there was no way to switch off the lights - you had to take out the room card from the power slot. You do not get an ironing board as well, unlike in any other hotel, you have to give your wrinkled shirts to the laundry section to iron at £1 a piece. There’s a window and a balcony that opens into an interior atrium and a Japanese garden. It is well thought as it shields you from direct sunlight (so rooms tend to stay cooler) and there’s no street noise.
There are two lifts and both were fast (there’s only 3 levels) and in working condition.
Classic the bordello
Make no mistake, this is a bordello. I always wondered why there are Terminal 2 and 5 but not 1, 3 and 4. Well, that’s because those levels are for the labyrinth of rooms where the deed is done. And located in the center of Jakarta, it must be one with powerful, very powerful connections. All payments for girls are cash in hand while the rest is either cash or credit card. 200 girls doing 2 guys a night is about $9,000 and Classic is open 360 days a year.
The entire operation is as professional as it gets with levels of organization that I haven’t seen in Angeles or Manila. There’s a little armada of helpers, mamasan, waitresses, cash collectors etc. Everything is noted down, printed in duplicates, stapled, accounted for.
How to reach there? It depends whether you are coming by cab or on foot. If the latter, it depends whether they will leave you in front of the hotel or the hotel lobby. If the latter, then enter the main door, then to your right walk straight you will see one escalator on your left. Take it, then another again to reach Terminal 2. Just ask people around otherwise.
If you come from the street, just walk on the tiled pavement to the glass door, there are 2 security guards usually, just smile and greet them. The glass door opens when you come quite close so be careful. Once it is opened the escalator should be just in front of you. Take it and proceed as discussed in the previous paragraph.
It is active from 4pm onwards with T5 going live a bit later (I think about 8 or 9pm). The spa is opened around noon and the lower ground disco opens around 8-ish.
The standard MO is.
Once inside room get naked (everyone). Then choose either you fuck one 2x or fuck 2x1. I did the latter. So shower with 1 first (she showers you, she showers herself or you can shower her). Then lay on bed. They use listerine mouthwash (the expensive ones, that must cost them a fortune!!!) to clean your parts and your nipples. Then proceed to suck the nipples while the other one suck you and do what you want. Not everyone allows fingering or pussy licking or kissing. That’s where I fell short. They may secretly want to upsell once in room and there have been report of punters offering money for BBFS.
You can take out but it is 6 vouchers or 6 x 365. She stays whole night till the next morning. Sadly, you can’t take doubles (6 x 500). 3 million for 10 hours would have been great for 2 sevens sleeping with you. I can also confirm that girls will take outside clients during their time off. I didn’t ask for price but I am sure it can’t be as expensive as Angeles given how cheap Classic is for a start. 5000 ST is 1.35jt, which gets you 3 hours with 4 girls with some cash remaining.
About the girls
Girls work 12-hours shifts, either starting at 3 to 3 or 12 to 12, carried in by a flotilla of unmarked scooters (bodyguards I’ve been told) in a way similar to what you see in Angeles with the trikes. They are between 19 and 25 and come to Classic.
More than 200 of them (and maybe more) work 21-day shifts and yes, it is as grueling as it sounds. Sucking off a complete stranger at 1am that doesn’t speak your language and only wants to deposit his sperm in your vagina is soul destroying. They are treated like meat: No phones allowed, I saw girls dozing off, mamas batch spraying them with cheap perfume.
They all dress sexy with high heels, are all young or young looking, they may or may not have kids and therefore baby damage. You have short, tall, fat, skinny and everything in between to cater for all tastes. Some do look more Japanese or Europeans (perhaps because of some Dutch blood?) All of the ones I’ve spoken to are there by their free will, i.e. there’s no coercion or bondage. Others may be different but I had the Angeles vibe in there.
The location
There are 4 places where you get the girls. In the Spa, in ground level, level 2 and level 5. Altogether, I’d say they have a surface area of 7 or 8 Megacenter clubs. Ground level and level 5 have girls arranged in a podium style while in Level 2, it is mostly sofas, a lot of them. There are table pools to play, chill out zone (think VIP section), live DJs, performers on stage (girls gyrating with see throughs) and tables with high stools. All tables and chairs are bolted on the floor (to avoid fights). Beers are reasonably priced I think. I didn’t partake b.c. I fear that would impact performance. I stuck to coke which was 33K a can.
Classic pricing
OK, so, 365K plus tips is the standard for 1 hour, 1 pop. That’s about £18 or $23 or 1356 PHP. Take 2 girls, you get 90 minutes, 2 pops and it costs you 500K, that’s 1859 PHP, under $32 and under £25. So this is the sweet spot. The caveat here is that they may ask for tips, I always tipped 100K, which they accepted without question. Your mileage may vary but remember that they keep 100% of the tips.
I made these rookie mistakes at Classic.
I thought making good friends with an English-speaking door boy could help me get better girls. I gave him 50K IDR. Totally not worth it as he now thinks I need to give him more.
I asked the mamasan he introduced me to for 2 girls that would kiss, allow fingering and allow DATY. Turns out once in the room only one would do and the other categorically refused.
I was short changed on time, being asked to leave about 10 minutes earlier instead of the agreed 90 minutes. Complaints won’t change anything. Apparently, the 90 minutes starts from the moment mamasan leaves you with the girl, not when the door is closed.
The second time, I asked for new girls but she sent me one that was 5 months in the job and another one 8 months, both quite fit but also experienced enough to start calling me, baby, the biggest turn-off ever.
Civvies
A lot of fellow punters warned me in the past about not trying to score with freebie civvies or on dating websites because they’re just a waste of time. I totally agree but am still drawn to that like a moth to a flame. There’s a lot of lies to be told, a lot of personas to be built and more. In the end, I scored 4 freebies on the first “date” through DIA and Tagged. I used free Tinder in Indonesia from the ages of 18 to 27 and can confirm that it is SB territory. I had about 100 likes but after chatting a few I came to the conclusion that it wasn’t worth my time. YMMV; I look to be in my early 30’s and look like a mixed blood Indonesian.
I had someone bailed on me on day 1 as she got a job abroad. I bailed on someone because I was too tired plus I met 3 girls for coffee without further involvement. I’ll go on a tangent here to say that I needed to meet them to stay sane. Other than fucking, Jakarta has not much to offer and there’s only so much you can fuck. Unlike Angeles where you can barhop or Manila where you can sit down with the girls in the bars and exchange a few words or meet up with expats.
The Asian audience
The bulk of the males visiting Classic are Asians, predominantly Chinese from what I gather, ranging from young to old but not geriatric. I strongly suspect there are Chinese forums or sites (or Weibo pages) that contain far more legacy information about Classic. Quite a few groups as well coming in, like in Angeles. So a western person may not feel at ease or may be socially isolated if coming for a long period (but then there’s the civvies who are happy to meet for a drink).
Massage
I tried one mature woman who did refkexi massage (head, shoulders, legs) for 50K IDR (£2.50) for 1 hour. She also did a 1 hour body massage for 100K IDR for 1 hour. She speaks pretty good English and is located in the mall nearest to Classic. There are 11 massage parlors there, all of them with curtains, so no chance for a quickie. But then again with Classic nearby why would you need that? I also tried reflexi at Classic for the experience, it was performed by a man for 270k (£13.50, 90 minutes). Small anecdote here, I miscounted my notes and the lady at the counter quietly pocketed. I only noticed afterwards but I wasn’t going to cause a commotion for £2.50.
Is Jakarta fit for an older white westerner?
I’ve seen a couple of solo westerner OAPs roaming Jakarta during my various Gojek bike trips. They were walking. There are no trikes here but I suspect opting for a Gojek car is the way to go. Classic hotel has step free access and plenty of escalators to access the dungeons and the brothels. However, in Terminal 2 at least, you have to go down a flight of staircases to access the love rooms. As in Manila and Angeles, the pavements are sort of fucked up with plenty of booby traps and dodgy slabs. And yes, you have to walk on the road from time to time. Personally I don’t have any issues with it (or crossing the double triple carriageway). I am still relatively young and fit, so your mileage will vary.
My view on classic
On paper, Classic is what an ideal bordello looks like. Cheap entrance, literally wall-to-wall of beautiful girls, affordable drinks, extremely cheap fucks and other amenities (ATM is in hotel and money changer is 1 minute away). Being able to walk down from your hotel room straight into the equivalent of an adult Disneyland is a magnificent experience.
But for me, this is no longer working. I love the highs of choosing what looks like a dream girl but then hate the lows of when they go mechanical on you and keep saying hey baby. That sort of sex factory will for sure have its fans - there are hundreds of locals and foreigners coming every single day. This is literally and figuratively, a milking operation but having gone from Manila, to Angeles and now Jakarta, I think I have seen what had to be seen and done what had to be done.
I tried to force myself to love punting, based on the experience of others and this is not working because it lacks substance (a version of GFE). In all three destinations, I did both paid and free and I can see and feel the difference between the two options. Maybe I need something else that is not marriage; Like in Eminem’s Stan, I got my epiphany at the end of my journey. So goodbye everyone, for now.
