Most hated punting clichés

[Ali Katt]

What are your most hated punting clichés in reviews?

Mine has to be:
"her pussy tasted like sweet nectar or honey" - If that's the case stop buying honey that tastes like brine and battery acid.

Only beaten by:
"Cara Cumlips is not a pneumatic stick insect" - a fat bastard that puts in zero effort then.

[galcom666]

Pictures don't do her justice.

Looks like the girl next door (I live next to a right munter)

[Taggart]

Has to be 'treat her well' or words to that effect.  Makes me want to puke when guys use that in reports. Fecking lack of vocabulary.

[Stealthshagger]

treat her well.
1) as if I dont
2) as if I need a reviewer to tell me to. Its not like I was going to turn up and be all Ike turner until I read that review.
3) nutters wont read that and turn nice, reconsidering their atrocious ways.

so whats the point of the inane line? arse kissing. it adds nothing.

[Stealthshagger]

Has to be 'treat her well' or words to that effect.  Makes me want to puke when guys use that in reports. Fecking lack of vocabulary.

we posted at the same time..didnt see your respone when I wrote mine

[Dodo]

'She said I was too big'

 (never had it said to me... .  but pisses me off when I read it from some punter whose probably got three inches)

[Banquo]

"what happened between us is private"  usually followed by some fluffy bullshit..

[Stealthshagger]

"what happened between us is private"  usually followed by some fluffy bullshit..

yeah, so private she does it with anyone for cash, and lists it for all to see, and has pictures advertising. so private. It is an annoying one, especially as it is fake privacy. its smoke and mirrors. it isnt in the realm of discretion, for example.

[Ali Katt]

'She said I was too big'

 (never had it said to me... .  but pisses me off when I read it from some punter whose probably got three inches)

Only had it once.  I do write if the girl put her knees in the way or positioned herself at an awkward angle, in-case she does it with all punters and it shows up her half-arsed service.

[Stealthshagger]

Only had it once.  I do write if the girl put her knees in the way or positioned herself at an awkward angle, in-case she does it with all punters and it shows up her half-arsed service.

its always when anal is at discretion that they say that from my experienced. I gave up on expecting to get the todger tanned in punts as a result. just cant be bothered when I know they just put it and will say its too big regardless of size. they point out that the arsehole is tiny, as if thats unique to them, like we all have brick sized shit dropping out our gaping mud pits unlike their tiny little fibre flingers.

[Ravanelli]

"what happened between us is private"  usually followed by some fluffy bullshit..

Yes because given the context it is quite clear that she got fucked for cash. Fluffy deluded fuckers wanting to believe that their particular experience was special 

[Ravanelli]

I'm starting to not enjoy 'can we sort the paperwork out?' 

[Stealthshagger]

a true lady. that one annoys me. is she? is she really? as in, she has a title? or as in she doesnt do facials, just sex with strangers for money so long as they dont facial, as is the apparent definition of being a lady? what does it even mean? Im not judging wgs, but what makes one a lady or not and what the fuck does it have to do with anything? it means noting in punting, other than she has been put on a pedestal by a fluffy who she has convinced that she doesnt do some services as she is above them, or she has higher rates. the courtesan syndrome.

[Cornish sub]

Agree with the 'Treat her well' and 'What happened between us will stay between us' ones, annoying as fuck. Up there with them is, 'We sorted the paperwork.' No you didn't, you paid her fee or gave her her money, ffs.

[Ali Katt]

Anyone else find "I wish she was my girlfriend" a bit weird? Take away the sex and exchange a short-ish meeting to spending days together and he would soon wish she was a prossie again.

[Roth]

Barf ......

"Took an unforgetable magic carpet ride with sensational Sienna to a place where they drink champagne & dance salsa all night long. Sweet dreams are made of this."

or

" I have just spent an hour trying to tame a wildcat. Sienna is beautiful, with sexy eyes that mesmerize and she tastes of cinnamon. Here kitty kitty."

or

 "What is it about Karolina that brings out El Diablo in me...? Maybe Victoria knows the secret )) See you again soon XXX"

 

[BillGoldberg]

Please guys treat her with respect

(actually I was planning on strangling her unconscious during extremely rough anal but since you wrote that I've decided to completely change my mind)

An elite courtesan for the discerning gentleman

(in other words I'll fuck and suck you only for cash just like all the other Whores except I have a slightly more expansive vocabulary than some and am ludicrously pretentious )

What went on in the room between me and the lady will remain private

(So why the fuck did you write a review/FR you fluffy pillock ??!)

[Vivago]

I tend to squirm a bit when I see the word 'housewife' in a profile as in 'sexy housewife'.  9 times out of 10 they are not genuine housewives at all and even if they are, it would be relevant only if they would be willing to cook my dinner or iron a pile of my shirts in between shags.

[JV547845]

`I won't go into detail about what went on between us'

Fuck off with your amateur romantic writings to a different website then.

[eyeseebee]

It does annoy me when they say 'I want to keep her all to myself.' I don't think the whore would be very happy about that would she? Hardly good for business is it?

[NIK]

There are so many:
'treat her with respect,' 'out of respect for the lady I'm not going to go into detail,' 'we sorted the paperwork out,' 'then it was on with the raincoat' 'her pussy tasted as sweet as honey / nectar' and 'wow'.

Any reports that contain any of this bollocks I view with suspicion.

I once wrote a fake report on Prossynet containing all the above and more, such as 'she was educated to degree standard and was stimulating company' as a spoof to show up such tosh. They published it. Of course when I eventually admitted it was a spoof written to show how NOT to write a report, the irony and purpose was totally lost on them, and the humourless twats merely accused me of writing fake reports.   

[Cornish sub]

Pity no WGs have posted on this thread yet, would be interesting to hear what they think of some of the OTT Mills & Boon type reviews mentioned here, especially if they themselves have had one written about them. Do they like them or do they make them cringe as much as everyone else who reads them?

[barnstorm123]

"what happened between us is private"  usually followed by some fluffy bullshit..

That drives me mad. "Out of respect, I won't go into details about our time together". So what's the point in writing a review in the first place? A review without details is worthless to others. I hate the way ti implies that there was something meaningful going on in the punt. It was transactional sex. It might have been great but don't kid yourself there was any emotion there from the WGs side.

I also hate "the paperwork". It's money, giving it a cutesy name doesn't disguise what's going on.

[James999]

Pity no WGs have posted on this thread yet,

Probably nervous of upsetting any punter / possible punter and thus losing a booking / £££££ 

Back on Topic it's

"Treat her well"
"I won't go into detail"
"it's between us what went on"
" A gentleman never tells"
"we sorted out the paperwork"
"Best blowjob ever"

[sublimetoridiculous]

... it would be relevant only if they would be willing to cook my dinner ... between shags.

I have had that, and luckily she was a brilliant cook.

So "excellent in the kitchen" would be very original feedback.

[Happyjose]

Not sure if it's a cliché, but I detest the mention of a prossies (supposed) real name in a review. As if the punter has some special knowledge or relationship with the girl. Fluffy EAS bollocks.

[akauya]

Not sure if it's a cliché, but I detest the mention of a prossies (supposed) real name in a review. As if the punter has some special knowledge or relationship with the girl. Fluffy EAS bollocks.

Mentioning the girl's name has nothing to do with fluffiness. I think it's useful to write the prossie's name on the review especially when reviewing prossies on AW. It's a big clue that something dodgy is going on when suddenly Horny Holly becomes Busty Brenda. It could mean a number of things but most likely the profile has been passed on and any good reviews for the first girl may not be valid for the new girl.

[James999]

Not sure if it's a cliché, but I detest the mention of a prossies (supposed) real name in a review. As if the punter has some special knowledge or relationship with the girl.

Pro$$ies tend to reveal a "real name" along with the "you're special" line, usually followed by a tale of having trouble finding £800 / £900 deposit for the rent etc.

the reply should always be the same, "That's a shame, I'll have a think if there's anything I can do to help, give this a suck while I think, then leave with the I'll think further and be in touch if I can help" don't do anything or contact her till you want another shag, if she mentions it agaion just say you'll have a think and tell her next time, and it never happens.

[Bangers and Gash]

Pro$$ies who claim that kissing is reserved only for their boyfriend/husband/pimp/dealer....

.... but they're happy with a cock up the arse or getting facialised with a weeks worth.

 


Pro$$ies who state they are high class and only available for select 'business' gentlemen.

Get over yourself love. You're fucking for cash - end of story.

 

[James999]

Mentioning the girl's name has nothing to do with fluffiness. I think it's useful to write the prossie's name on the review especially when reviewing prossies on AW. It's a big clue that something dodgy is going on when suddenly Horny Holly becomes Busty Brenda. It could mean a number of things but most likely the profile has been passed on and any good reviews for the first girl may not be valid for the new girl.

You Missed his point it was that "Horny Holly" is really Sarah, and the author feels the ned to drop in th efact he knows (or thinks) her real name.

It's actually surprising how pro$$ies working names are often quite close to their real names, perhaps something to do with being a bit FIK and easier to remember 

[akauya]

You Missed his point it was that "Horny Holly" is really Sarah, and the author feels the ned to drop in th efact he knows (or thinks) her real name.

Ah yes, I did indeed.

Apologies HappyJose, trying to speed read, post and do some work (i.e. multitasking) is not my forte

 

[Happyjose]

No apology necessary, perfectly understandable and your point re name switching is valid

[MangoPudding]

"I'm a well educated, high class escort"

There are no differences between any escorts as they are whoring out their bodies, that's what pisses me off about escorts that write something around the lines of what I just said.

[James999]

There are no differences between any escorts as they are whoring out their bodies,

Many pro$$ies are ashamed of what they do, and as such like to look down on other pro$$ies and as such create a "pro$$ie hierachy"
Streetgirl
Parlourgirl
Independent
Independent with own website
Independent with own website and a maid
Independent with own website a maid and new stockings from primark (courtesean)

Each level looks down on the other, at the end of they day they all do the same the only difference is where they do it and what they charge 

[sheriff bart]

Two of my most hated phrases used on AW profiles are:

1) " Hello gentlemans...."

Sort out your grammar!

2) "...and I have curves in all the right places..."

Can you even have them in the wrong places?

[restless_native]

2) "...and I have curves in all the right places..."

Can you even have them in the wrong places?

In my experience curvy is usually just code for fat lass.

[Roth]

" The pics don't lie! I'll be back for more!"  Posted by the photographer who took the pics!!!!!

[Ali Katt]

"After I picked my jaw up off the floor I sorted out the paperwork and pulled out a pack of raincoats"

The first part is sycophantic bullshit.

[Neal69]

What went on in the room between me and the lady will remain private

(So why the fuck did you write a review/FR you fluffy pillock ??!)

+1

This really annoys me particularly on a FR

[Ali Katt]

What went on in the room between me and the lady will remain private

(So why the fuck did you write a review/FR you fluffy pillock ??!)

+1

This really annoys me particularly on a FR

Luckily those reports don't get published on here cos every cunt knows it's bollocks. I've read more realness in Aesop's Fables.

[StPunt]

'what we did will remain private'....

...oh we all know what you did, we did it too...

(name dropping to show they know her 'real name')

tosser.

[Dani]

Some reviews are written more for the punter than to tell anyone what really happened.  I have some on AW that I look at and wonder where the fuck I was when the booking took place as none of what was written actually happened so I don't really worry too much about what is written as it is done to make the punter feel great.  All this treat her with respect does make me laugh though as people either will or wont and someone writing it in a review is not going to make an arsehole become a nice guy

[Dodo]

What the fuck does 'she is like the girl next door' supposed to mean.??

[monstar]

What the fuck does 'she is like the girl next door' supposed to mean.??

I take it as she was good looking but in a 'cute' rather then 'sexy' sort of way.. But it's all subjective and your definition of girl next door, cute and sexy is likely different to mine so just a waste of words! 

"Treat her well" is the one I hate the most.

"Hello gentlemens" always makes me smile though. 

[Cornish sub]

Cheers Dani and Mistybloo, good to hear a WG's point of view. Also good to know that some of the shit written makes you cringe as much as the rest of us. Hopefully any of the 'Treat her well' and 'What happened between us will stay between us' brigade reading this will take note. I doubt it though. Another one that gets to me is, 'I don't like to rush, neither to be rushed.' I don't know if it's grammatically correct or not, but it just sounds wrong and really grates. I should get out more.

[Lemon Otter]

What went on in the room between me and the lady will remain private

(So why the fuck did you write a review/FR you fluffy pillock ??!)

+1

This really annoys me particularly on a FR

Do the absolute idiots who insist on using the "what happened in the room will remain private" line also write reviews on Amazon after buying a 12" single and only write about the B side?

[webpunter]

"I'm hoping she enjoyed it as much i did"

What a stupid loved up cunt.  She enjoyed taking the money.  Probably thinking what a sad fuck the punter is for living in cloud cuckoo land

"I brought her favourite present which is x / y / z"

Again a stupid cunt - her favourite present is money

[charming_red]

"We made love"

"Treat her well"

Please, just fuck off you fluffy cunts.

[webpunter]

Independent with own website a maid and new stockings from primark (courtesean)

Courtesan makes me laugh whenever i read this on a profile. Normally meaning old with photos that hide a thousand horrors & combined with charging shit loads more

[raylondoner]

My pet hate is ''slept with'' - no you didnt, unless you did an overnight, you fucked!