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Author Topic: Carlsberg don't make multi-trip plane tickets, but if they did . . .  (Read 926 times)

Offline Marmalade

After realising there are several (about six) very tidy young ladies in Edinburgh just now @ about £60 that I'd like to shag or shag again, the mounting costs made me take a step back. Six times 60 is 360 (yes, I can even do that while thinking about sex), which if spread over six months is not bad.  But I get fed up of waiting for my monthly treat like some puppy. I don't actually want to pay 60 quid - for a nice shag with a nice civilised young lady, £10 would feel far more comfortable as I took it out of the stitching in my pocket after cooking my brown rice and bowl of miso soup.

So I started playing with Kayak trying to link up countries that would give me decent service for a tenner. S.E. Asia is out, cos one hooker looks more or less the same as the next one - squashed noses and varying degrees of hey-I'm-ugly. So South America it is.

After keying in a few multiple options, it offered a round trip from Rio to Lima, Peru and Colombia for about £500. Which means if it's that much now it will possibly be even less once I've checked dates and logged onto the local airlines via their home sites (strangely, translating a airline website from Spanish or Portuguese seems so costly that the airfares accumulate extra £££ on the way).

Does anybody else do this crazy sh*t? I don't want a nice package tour. Just the cheapest way of getting between several places where cost-of-pussy is roughly equal to cost-of-chips.

There's three 'expensive' countries in South America - Brazil, Argentina and Chile, and even those aren't expensive once you sew your moolah back into the lining of your trousers. But Colombia and places with healthy infestations of coco plants barely know what an international flight is, much less how to overcharge the dribble of tourists. The distances mean buses are a no-go cos they take days (although Brazil to Argentina is doable). I need those things that go up in the air.

What's the best way to mix and match and still pick and mix? I have very few requirements. Can live off fruit and local equivalents of 'food.' Carry only a small bag that goes over one shoulder. And can go without a shag for a week at a push as long as I make up for it the following week with my oats and barley at least twice a day.

I'm going back to my Edinburgh brown rice diet so I can afford it.  :cry:

sounds exciting.  are those places not a bit dangerous though?

Offline Marmalade

sounds exciting.  are those places not a bit dangerous though?

Absolutely  :lol: :lol: :lol:

But if you are an adventurous person it seems reasonable to push your comfort zone just a little bit further as you gradually get used to knowing your own limits and assessing risks. I mean, fast cars are dangerous as well, aren't they? So compared to . . . there's places like Phnom Penh and . . .  well . . . Manchester was pretty hairy during the riots . . .

I don't know some of those countries, which is one of the reasons I'd like to go there.
I'm more familiar with Buenos Aires, which is safer than Bangkok if you avoid the slums (and much nicer).
Brazil is enormous and varies from city to city. Rio is mental, but also the biggest draw punting wise - the muggers can be quite polite, giving you your bus fare home after robbing you. Belo Horizonte is cheap for punting and as safe as any European city but there's no beach. Belem is beautiful and fairly safe until you hang out in the bad boy bars, but with plenty of dark backstreets where few questions would be asked if you wound up dead.
The less developed countries I mentioned seem safe enough from my researches, especially for anyone who has negotiated at least some of South America (things like knowing the local scams from place to place, getting to know the body language so you can spot trouble). And basics like not getting sick of course. But the delights are very rewarding. And not only the variety and price of pussy. It's a whole big beautiful vibrant continent (Brazil alone is the size of the U.S.A.) and going there one suddenly realises the planet is a whole lot bigger and more varied and exciting than one ever imagined. I'm quite serious about eating brown rice if it's the only way to save up and get there, as one trip and you feel it's worth it. But if you like nice hotels and taxis to the door, of course even South America will cost a feckin fortune. But unlike Europe you have a choice. And that means that the cost of the airfare is absorbed in what you would pay for three weeks in a European destination anyway. You only live once.

Offline Cactus

PRAGUE  :cool:
Dunno what prices are like for the ladies, but the first time I went they were very reasonable! Cheap flights (from Prestwick), cheap digs, cheap beer etc etc
Use it as a base, rent a car & explore the other Eastern European countries and their fine ladies...hell give me a couple of months and I'll come with you  :P

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