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External Link/Members OnlyTLDR: Shit massage and hack release from an overweight russian that has pics 20 years out of date.
Price(s): £80 for 30 mins. £20 for prostate massage and £50 for blowjob. i stuck with the massage.
Logistics: Replied immediately and she was asking if we could meet in like 10 minutes. Either a slow day or trying to slot me in to a busy schedule. Turns out it was the latter. We met 30 mins later.
Location: Same location in Gillingham near the sports centre as with my previous review. Seems like a lot of russians (claiming to be Ukrainians) working through that apartment, and don't the locals know it.
Was in the front room this time which was a lot nice than the back bedrooms at least, lots of space.
I showered this time, if only to piss her off by getting my full 30 minutes after she finished in under 20, and it turns out the shower is one of those ones that is either freezing cold or boiling hot unless you have the skills of an expert safecracker.
Looks: Nothing like the pics any more. 20 years out of date, very dumpy and way too much makeup that if anything made things worse.
Attitude & Service: She was friendly and nice at least but it was a shit experience.
- Didn't tell me the door number and when I was hanging around the street waiting I text three times and eventually called only for her to not realise I was her next booking. She said she was juggling lots of messages as several text message beeps went off. Waiting outside the door after I rang the bell for at least 4-5 minutes was not fun.
- Kept talking fast in half russian half english, never really understood a word she said.
- Massage was amateur with hardly any body to body and too much oil.
- When she did the body-to-body it was literally her just sitting on my back
- I think she thinks that lots of swipes and swirls on the areshole is 'sensual' but after a while it was just weird. Not sexy at all. I was about to tell her to stop it with the arsehole when we turned over and wish I had earlier, I genuinely think she woudn't of known what else to do.
- The release was the most hacky and unsatisfying release I've ever had. It was almost medical. Once turned over I expected some body to body on top and playful edging BUT NO SHE JUST IMMEDIATELY SAT ON MY STOMACH AND STARTED KNEADING MY BELLEND/FRENULUM TO GET A MEDICAL RELEASE. It was less than 30 seconds and was like a medical procedure.
- Oh and her phone, which was on full volume, rang like 3 times through the 20 minutes and she let it ring off every time. Scared the shit out of me the first time, and the third time I complained and asked her to turn it off. Of course she ignored me, got a business to run ey?
Conclusion: It was obvious she was super busy and overbooked, tossing me out early and juggling her phone every second of our interaction that the massage wasn't happening - and the phone ringing throughout massage. Technique and experience was shit. I genuinely wanted to ask for my money back, but thought an accurate review here would cost her more than she cost me.
Also getting stuck outside waiting ages for her to open the door I got lots of knowing glances from neighbours and passers-by, this place is no longer even slightly discrete.Would I return? Fuck no.
Pic from profile included for posterity but she looks nothing like thisHidden Image/Members Only
