First time posting a non-positive review and genuinely struggled about writing a negative - but after sound advice on the topic decided neutral was fairer.
Location: Outcall to my house in Surbiton
Date / Time: Su 19th Oct - wee small hours - 0.30
Booking time: 1hr
Fee: £140
Found this profile just yesterday and it ticked all the right boxes for me:
External Link/Members Only or
External Link/Members Only Very local, blue eyed blonde, pics looked great to me - profile looks very dirty / naughty / kinky and open-minded. Lots of good AW feedback although surprisingly no FR's. Or maybe not so surprisingly.
Did the customary search through the UKP archives and found only two references which both seemed to confirm she was worth a punt although in hindsight maybe I was being overly optimistic:
Evie will do everything. She's pretty filthy. Night time outcalls only
External Link/Members Only
and this which obviously is not from someone who's seen her but just an evaluation of her profile veracity...
Haven't seen any of them, but Evie's profile looks alright and doesn't appear to have been written by a nutter. Only two things stood out: pics are quite heavily photoshopped, and '29' is tartspeak for anything up to 45. If she's really 29, I'll attempt to find that photo I had of a unicorn flying out of my arse.
Re the photoshop comment absolutely true - the older pics of her are definitely photoshopped and I could see they'd PS'd her face but figured maybe that was to hide her identity. The new pics definitely do not look PS'd, the face pics look pretty good - not a 10 certainly but surely not a minger. And yes, she might be over 30 but I'm 45 so as long as she's hot I don't really mind.
Decision made, I made initial email contact and responses were prompt and positive. I wasn't originally intending to see her today as I'd already punted twice this week (one yesterday, review still to follow), but her profile really got me excited and so come 9.30pm I was thinking I'd just check if she was free. Unfortunately she wasn't at least not until after midnight. I was a bit crestfallen but thought - fuck it, midnight isn't that late for a booty call.
So everything was scheduled and the anticipation mounts. Comms were good all through, and then she was outside the door. And then it was like. Oh.
Facially for me personally, she was like a 3/10. Maybe a 4. So the face pics were taken from the most flattering angle possible. But that's marketing right? And she was very nice and friendly and I still had visions of those amazing boobs in my head.
So I soldiered on, did the paperwork, then chatted over a glass of wine, and easily enough moved into snogging (eyes closed naturally). And actually it was ok, I was getting aroused, she seemed to be as well, and we moved onto OWO which was working quite nicely thank you very much. Good eye contact, good technique.
Now, I love to give oral almost as much as receive so I naturally offered to return the compliment. So she took her dress off, aaaaand....well, those pics IMHO were taken at her absolute peak and I can only assume that some significant amount of time has passed. She's definitely got a bit of a belly on her and the boobs are nowhere near as nice looking without the support of a good bra. Her figure is a bit flat not lush curves as the pics alluded to. All in all, I was disappointed.
Started RO, and she was giving good verbal feedback on what worked, but all the time I'm looking up at her thinking - "not working for me" and Mr Boner went bye-byes.
Decided to move things to the bedroom, resumed OWO, but zip, zilch, nada. And this with a cocktail of cialis and viagra in my system that normally has me hard as iron for hours. These drugs only work with sexual stimulation I know, but normally even just wearing tight trousers can give me an embarrassing stiffy, and here the only embarrassment was my shrinking acorn.
Evie, for her part, was very game, very patient, didn't make me feel at all like I should be embarrassed, there was no pressure, she offered to try other things - anything I wanted, but I knew deep down it was game over. So that's why this is a neutral - I think it's just chemistry (lack of), and my own unwillingness to at least try other things.
I do think Evie would be a very dirty lady and try anything. She obviously enjoys the sex a lot and she is very sweet, affectionate, easy to talk to. Very much like my ex actually - didn't fancy her either in the end so I guess I really did get the full GFE!
I think she needs to update her pics so that punters have a more realistic view of what they're getting. On the other hand if it's the services you're interested in and not the visual treat of the most amazing body then your mileage most definitely may vary.
