Point her to this thread Piper and tell her you were recommended.
Mention the dildo she stuck on the wall:
After she'd finished fucking herself with this massive dildo, she jumped up and GLUED it to the wall. It was THAT sticky. Then she remembered the £800 deposit she'd paid on the apartment for the week.
She said: "fuck, fuck, fuck - I'm going to lose my deposit for a sticky dildo"