First off, apologies for never having updated this thread and thanking everyone for their input. I did try to update it shortly after my visit, but I was having technical problems and the forum crashed every time I tried to post more than a sentence. I eventually gave up and forgot about it, until now.
Anyway, a quick summary of my visit. I arrived on the Friday night and decided to check out Two-by-Two as suggested by an earlier contributor. Arrived at about 10:00 p.m. and it was pretty quiet. There was one girl getting gangbanged by a group of youngish men, but I arrived a little too late to join in and I never saw her in action again that night. Apart from that there was very little going on. It was mostly older couples who seemed to like keeping themselves to themselves. I did get a couple of brief hand jobs in the time I was there but nothing else. Left after about 90 minutes as I couldn't see anything improving. I moved on to Secrets and, in contrast, it was absolutely packed. More on that later.
On Saturday afternoon I took the bus up to La Palma city to have a look at the red-light district that somebody mentioned. It is in a pretty run-down part of town but not scary in any way, just a bit dreary. There were maybe 20 or 25 women sitting in doorways and windows over a stretch of about 200 meters. Most of them had a South American appearance, and I didn't find a single one of them attractive in any way. Most of them were too busy either chatting or smoking to pay any attention to people passing by. A few did make motions to try and tempt to be in but it was never going to happen. I spent my money on a drink in one of the seafront bars which was much more fulfilling.
Later in the afternoon, I went to the beach, but there was no sign of any action in the Dunes; also, I fuckin hate walking on sand so my enthusiasm for searching was limited. I did find the nudist area which had a bar/café, so I just relaxed there in the sun for a while.
On my second night, Saturday, I first tried Eden which, according to their website, was open to single men that night. However, after the considerable trek to get there, it turned out that the information on their website was crap and it wasn't a single guy's night at all. I politely voiced my displeasure and left. Next, I tried the club next door to Secrets, Fun4all, but it was a bit dark and dingy and there was nothing much happening. Just a few couples hanging around and two or three single guys looking bored. So back to secrets we go…
Friday and Saturday night at Secrets was ‘jumping’ (as the kids say). Loud dance music playing and a packed dance floor. Even though I'm an old git I still like that nightclub atmosphere but if that's not for you I'd steer well clear at the weekends. The area where single guys are allowed is well segregated from the couples section but there is a crossover point where you can shove your bits through some metal bars to be attended to. I hung around there quite a few times during the night. You have to be patient but eventually, someone will turn up, or sometimes a group, and they will start playing around or giving blowjobs. My Saturday night was more successful than Friday with a couple of outstanding BJs, but I did get action on both nights. It can get quite crowded at times so you have to be prepared to push yourself forward. There are a few other rooms and spaces where women and couples will sometimes wander in for a change from the couples-only area and again there is plenty of action to be had if you’re patient. I managed to fuck quite a few over the two nights including one very attractive skinny Irish girl and a lovely petite MILF. I had a rather unusual experience while I was standing waiting to join in with a group when the tranny next to me grabbed my cock and started wanking me off. Before I had a chance to take this in completely, he/she was down on his/her knees and had me in his/her mouth. My first thought was to get out of there but actually, it was an outstandingly good BJ so I let him enjoy himself for a few minutes and then moved off to join in with the couples; I’m a one-shot-a-night guy these days and no way was I wasting it. It's not something I've ever sought out in the past but I have to say it wasn't unpleasant.
Sunday night was a lot quieter. There was a point where I thought there would be no action at all, but things warmed up at around midnight when a very attractive GILF started wandering around inviting attention. I very quickly made sure I had a tit in one hand and her clit in the other. Stupidly, after a while, I wandered off to see what else was happening and just missed the opportunity to join her and a couple of others in a room. I was kicking myself for the rest of the night but there were a few other opportunities for hand jobs and blowjobs. It was actually quite nice to have a quieter time with less pressure to hunt out action.
In summary then, having tried out a few other clubs, in future I just wouldn't bother. I just can't see the point, as a single guy, in visiting other clubs that really don't have a hope in hell of competing with Secrets. I’ve spent a total of six nights in there in the last year and every night I got some action. I can say without doubt that it is the best club I have ever been to, in the UK or abroad.
I'm currently looking at flights to go back again next month.
