External Link/Members OnlyPassing through the county again I thought I'd stop off for a massage as several days stuck in cars had locked my back up pretty successfully.
Comms. These were easy enough. A text got a reply in a few minutes and I was booked in. Even as a first time visitor to a place, you know your chances of 'extras' are good when the text reply calls you Darling and has a wink emoji at the side.
Venue. TBH, it's a bit of a shitty looking building. It looks sort of like it's partially boarded up. There's no way you'd mistake it for a high end reputable place. It's on a busy street too, so locals may want to go elsewhere. There's even a bus stop right by the door!
Girl. I have absolutely no idea who I saw. She didn't say and I didn't bother asking. I made a bit of a rookie mistake here. I assumed that as with other massage places I've visited, one lady would show me to the room and someone else would turn up to do the massage. As a result, I didn't pay the woman I met too much attention. She was Chinese, mid 30's and about a size 10. She showed me to a tiny, dimly lit room with just enough space for a massage table and left me to get ready. When she came back, I realised she'd be doing the massage herself. It came as a surprise because there was something odd about her. I can't quite put my finger on it though. Maybe because what she was wearing made her look a little frumpy. She was friendly enough and she spoke reasonable English. I just got the feeling that she understood a lot more than she let on and probably used the language barrier to avoid haggling.
Service. The massage was a bit bland. She'd asked what I wanted and agreed to work a bit harder on my back. I wouldn't say it was deep tissue or even particularly firm. It was enough to loosen me up a bit, but not firm enough to sort the muscles out properly. The massage on the rest of the body involved little more than getting some oil on her hands and lightly stroking my legs from time to time. There were the occasional vague CC swipes to let you know there'd be more on offer later... but then it was back to the legs again for some more ineffective light rubbing.
After about 30 minutes, she suddenly got serious. A couple of reach unders and a bit of a fumbled ball massage and she asked if I wanted b2b for £60 or HE for £20. Oddly, the two seemed mutually exclusively. Even together, £60 was a lot! After already paying £45 for the massage, it would have been £125 for everything. I could have booked a girl for FS for that much. I think she'd bumped the prices up because I'd made another silly mistake. As I hadn't planned on punting, I was wearing a nice suit and a good watch. I wonder if she decided that a bloke in a suit might pay more and thought she'd try it on? She agreed to the b2b and HE for £60 - which was still too much. She then stripped off and climbed on while I was still facing down. She moved about a bit for a couple of minutes, then told me to roll over. She had nice tits and seemed to like her nipples being played with. Again, there was a couple of minutes of - not really b2b - more like moving about on top of me. It just didn't feel erotic. Then she hopped off and started to play with my cock for a minute. Then came the next request for cash. Did I want a blowjob for an extra £20?
I turned it down as her handjob so far had been a bit crap and I didn't want to shell out another £20 only to find her oral skills were as bad. The handjob was basically a bucket load of oil poured over my cock followed by some frantic wanking. No build up. No ball play. It was like I'd flicked a switch and suddenly she was off and wanking for all she was worth. Despite being allowed to fondle her arse and play with her clit, it really didn't do it for me. £105 and I didn't even cum.
Partially, it was my own fault. While she was yanking the plank, I kept thinking - for this much, I should have just booked an escort. They can't massage either - but the sex is a lot better.
In fairness to her, she did what she said. It was just that it was overpriced and I didn't think she was much good. Plus, the last girl I'd seen was Hanna Lorde and although I'm usually just a one pop bloke now - she got two pops out of me and came bloody close to getting a third. This girl just didn't float my boat.
Would I go back? Nope.
