External Link/Members Only

My first TOFTT, this girl, or shall I say lady looked just like Michelle Keegan in her pics and I have a thing for her so off I went looking for the keys to my R8, eventually roaring into the suburbs of Uxbridge.

Cost
£50 for 15 mins (only used 5)

Location
House behind row of shops, parking restrictions at the usual times but free in evenings. Naomi was top floor of a house that had girls on other floors. Didn't get to see their faces but glimpsed a couple from their backs on our ascention to top floor. Room was bare. Bed had no sheets  on it. Bin overflowing with condoms and tissues.

Girl
Here is where it goes downhill, Naomi was very pleasant and nice but in real life she looks her age (30s) and as she had no make up on and impossible to have a filter in real life she was a lot bigger in the flesh. I would guess size 14 maybe even 16. Arse was big and out of shape, she had stretch marks across her belly from (perhaps) having multiple kids and the gut stuck out. Now when I go back and look at her pics I can see why she is sucking in and hiding her gut. Boobs were awful. They had no shape and once top was pulled up they were so droopy they were heading to her knees.
Very nice tan though and she had a cuteness about her face but when she smiled she had a tooth missing. But don't get it confused just because I'm saying she looked cute she does NOT look like her profile pics!

Action
I was 10mins late and she handles her own Comms. She was very understanding of traffic. When I finally got there and knocked was made to wait 3/4 mins. She opened the door peaking from behind it and I was instantly disappointed. I walked behind her up 3/4 flights of stairs. She was sniffling and muttering in Hungarian and her big arse looked out of shape. I should have walked then.

She has a chunky pear shaped figure and for some reason I went ahead with the punt. She doesn't speak great English but enough to get by. I was instantly disappointed by her body tho.

I had booked for 30 mins but quickly changed to 15. She took her bottoms off and asked me to lie down on the sheetless bed. She then pulled out a condom and sat by my side. I asked for OWO but she said 15 mins is OW. Not true according to the ad but at the point I knew where this was going (south, like her tits). 

Talking of tits at this point she pulled her sports bra up and they headed straight down to her knees. I was bitterly disappointed as I was hoping they would salvage the punt. She then took out a rubber and held it open with both hands and told me to pick up my lifeless cock, I did and she manhandled the condom on a limp cock and started furiously sucking. Mostly using hands to furiously wake me up. I stopped her and my right hand started stroking her fat but tanned body. This woke up the cobra and she went to work again albeit furiously. I didn't like this so stopped her. She asked me to get up and she lay down in mish and opened her legs. "Slow please" she begged. "Ees big" she pointed at my cock. No shit Sherlock. As I always tell everyone, my 6 figure car is not an extension of anything.

As soon as I entered her pussy she closed her eyes and looked away, this put me off further and I reassessed my life. I could be anywhere in the world right now, Bahamas, Maldives or with my 21 year old sugar baby from Seeking but for some reason I was inside an old fat Hungarian TOFT. The next part is strange but actually helped me: I thought about Admin as I was pumping her and I hoped he would appreciate my contributions, particularly as one of my reviews got moved to Regional Discussions purely based on the hate I got for my car - my review was real! As I thought about this more I got pissed off more and so fucked Naomi harder. She started moaning, unexpectedly turned on at the 11th hour I stopped thinking about Admin and started fucking her harder and harder. Her moans got more and more louder and sounded fucking genuine, this led to a nice big cum.
I pulled out and I had filled the bag up with millions of trust fund kids, haha if only she knew.

Took my own rubber off and she handed me tissues. Came more alive and started complimenting me on my looks etc. I asked where she was from "gypsy from Hungary". Said she's been here for 10 days and has already been ran through (not her words lol). She is here for 2 months, has a family back home etc etc.

I thanked her and asked to use toilet to wash my cock as I always do. She didn't understand so I did hand washing motion. She suddenly understood and escorted me to the bathroom, walking in with me standing right next to the sink texting her next client LOL. So I just washed my hands and then was escorted down the flights of stairs to be let out with a pleasant smile, where I once again noticed she had a tooth missing.

A very pleasant girl but I got catfished. Does not look like pics and makes rules up as she goes along (no OWO in 15mins). I feel harsh giving a negative which was my initial thought so I've decided to give a neutral based on her not being a hard nosed stone cold bitch. Oh and I had a nice cum when she unexpectedly started to enjoy it and moan. Oh one last point which was a positive she did not use lube and when I pulled out my cock, the condom was covered in her cum. That looked good!

Proceed at your own peril but she ain't no Michelle Keegan!

External Link/Members Only

As soon as I entered her pussy she closed her eyes and looked away, this put me off further and I reassessed my life.*1 I could be anywhere in the world right now, Bahamas, Maldives or with my 21 year old sugar baby from Seeking but for some reason I was inside an old fat Hungarian TOFT. The next part is strange but actually helped me: I thought about Admin as I was pumping her and I hoped he would appreciate my contributions, particularly as one of my reviews got moved to Regional Discussions purely based on the hate I got for my car - my review was real! As I thought about this more I got pissed off more and so fucked Naomi harder. She started moaning, unexpectedly turned on at the 11th hour I stopped thinking about Admin and started fucking her harder and harder. Her moans got more and more louder and sounded fucking genuine, this led to a nice big cum. *2
I pulled out and I had filled the bag up with millions of trust fund kids, haha if only she knew.

1) I think you should reassess it a bit more.
2) Not sure what to make of this, you don't find the WG attractive but thinking about the mods having issues with one of your reviews makes you angry and that turns you on? Are you sure you like women? Or do you like 'angry' rough sex?

You remind me of a punter (years ago here) that revelled in having negative reviews and used misogynistic language in his reviews. He used to like visiting the well reviewed girls and posting a negative just to be contrary. Out of your 11 reviews 7 are negs and you seem to have visited a couple of well reviewed girls jut to post a neg or a neutral.

Feeling sorry for you mate, wasting money in bad punts like that. I'd stick to your Sugar Babe (if she exists.) 

1) I think you should reassess it a bit more.
2) Not sure what to make of this, you don't find the WG attractive but thinking about the mods having issues with one of your reviews makes you angry and that turns you on? Are you sure you like women? Or do you like 'angry' rough sex?

You remind me of a punter (years ago here) that revelled in having negative reviews and used misogynistic language in his reviews. He used to like visiting the well reviewed girls and posting a negative just to be contrary. Out of your 11 reviews 7 are negs and you seem to have visited a couple of well reviewed girls jut to post a neg or a neutral.

Feeling sorry for you mate, wasting money in bad punts like that. I'd stick to your Sugar Babe (if she exists.) 

I have to admit that this matched my first thoughts exactly as well.

I never understand the continuing car references either. It has no association with a punt review whatsoever. Unless it really is some kind of compensatory statement. Simply stating that it isn't, usually means exactly the reverse. . .

I thought about Admin as I was pumping her and I hoped he would appreciate my contributions, particularly as one of my reviews got moved to Regional Discussions purely based on the hate I got for my car - my review was real!

To be honest the more you post the more you come across as a misogynistic fantasizing tosser

Your review was moved to discussions because you stated that Jeremy Kyle was playing on the TV which made the booking way over the 6 month limit.

What happened to - 

ok that's noted then. No more satire.

You'll be surprised that I had a positive experience with a very negatively reviewed girl the other night.

Review incoming (without satire)

You are still posting utter bollocks, reviews have to be a factual account of what happened during the booking and having to pick out what might be fact and what is fiction makes them worthless.

BTW nobody gives a fuck about what car you claim to drive, as has been pointed out previously, it has nothing to do with a review.

You should sell the R8 and use some of the cash to book a decent prossie 

Or a decent car that doesn’t look like a tart’s breakfast 🤣

Review just comes across as a brag,  not an actual review.   Just an excuse to say "I have a huge cock and flash car".  Which is probably bollocks.   Therefore people won't take care what else you say.
Stop trying to be a flash funny git,  and just post some simple facts.   As others said,  no one gives a flying fuck what car you have.   And if you could afford 6 figures on a car,  then you would be reviewing elite agency girls at 600/hr.  Not scuzzy 15min P&D birds.

You may be right, but I generally find satire to be entertaining when it doesn't come across as a dull piece that fails to capture its audience and stumbles clumsily through its feeble attempts at comedic wit.

Brilliant! 😂

New profile: External Link/Members Only

Forgot I'd seen her, got seduced by the pics and her online likeness to Michelle Keegan and went and wasted £50 for 15 mins again (only needed 5 mins to unload in missionary).

Now based in a flat in Wembley. Pleasant but looks much better and younger and tighter in her pics. Also she's quite tall which was off putting.

Not sure if I'm allowed to review her again but thought I'd update her new profile as someone can link it to her old profile?

Any Q's just ask but remains as a meh neutral for me.

Won't be revisiting as she doesn't look as good as her pics. How ironic that I visited her again, having forgotten I've already TOFFT...