There's a sweet young prossie I keep in touch with by text, swapping jokes and warm wishes and stuff, and occasionally I quite miss seeing her for a shag. When that's the case, I just book her.
Now if we'd been in a non-paying, passionate, I-love-you relationship that suddenly went wrong, then I guess "I miss you" might mean "I miss you." But we're not. What service provider in ANY industry contacts customers with an "I miss you."???
To make it believable, a freebie would at least be attached. "We miss your business, come and have a glass of champagne at opening preview."
Otherwise it's just pro$$iespeak. . . .
Perhaps others could add to the list:
"I miss you" = "My phone is dusty and I can't afford to pay the bill - please could I have a charity fuck at my usual rate"
"Big and beautiful" = fat
"Best blow job in town" = "I've no feedback and have made this up"
"Not a clockwatcher" = "Who takes a clock to an appointment, much less watches it? I use the timer on my mobile phone, dummy!"
"Number on profile" = "Number on profile for the days I remember to pay for it"
"18-yr old studdent" = "See automatically generated details below for my real age. I'm still studdying how to yoos this sight."
"Satisfaction guaranteed" ="My satisfaction guaranteed, preferably in an envelope at the start of the apppointment. Did you really think I was going to give it you back just because I smelt of fish?"
"I love sex" = "Money makes me horny"
"I'm not bothered about looks" = "Money makes me horny"
With apologies to all the decent, hard-working prossies out there. Keep up the good work. We know who you are as you don't fill your profile with all that crap.