Relationships With Working Girls

[MasterChief]

Mr denyason and his obsession with a particular girl, and a recent conversation I had with another lady have aroused my curiosity about the experiences of other punters with escorts.

In the past I have had relationships of various kinds with girls who escorted but two developed into "serious relationships".

The first when I was in my early twenties, ended rather disastrously as she was so concerned about my feelings as she was still working, tbh it did not bother me that much and that was the problem, what girl wants to be with a guy who does not care if she screws a couple of dozen other guys a week.

The second was in my early forties, with a great girl that only came to an end when she emigrated for career reasons, she escorted outside of her 9-5 job and continued to do so (all be it with a lot less guys) all the time I was with her, it did bother me this time, but I was getting plenty outside the relationship as well so...... We still exchange text at Xmas and Birthdays (and on one or two occasions bodily fluids) to this day.

So here I am now, lots of acquaintances, a few friends, a couple of good friends, and a couple of ex's. Currently infatuated with a working girl, but old enough and wise enough to know that she may enjoy time with me but it is what it is - Escort and Punter.

[finn5555]

Fucking doomed mate  my advise don't do it 

[MasterChief]

Fucking doomed mate  my advise don't do it 

Given my experience, mine as well

[gestaltentity]

only slightly similar situation I've experienced is with someone who escorted part time in Manchester.  was my 'regular' if you like when I was down there in hotels. Over time 1 hour punts, became 4 or 5 hours (I'd pay her for an hour and she'd stay and play all evening).  She gave up escorting and she sorta became a fuck buddy.  If I was down there I'd give her a ring and she'd come over.  Not been down there for a couple of years now though, and have been wondering recently what would happen if I gave her a call out of the blue to see what might occur.  I'd even thought about maybe just going down and booking a hotel even though I didn't have to go down for work stuff!

I guess the greatest thing, from my point of view, was that there was a much greater amount of intimacy when we would meet than you would ever get from a normal booking with anyone else.  which is priceless in my book

would I enter into a 'proper' relationship with her though?  hmmnn.  dunno.  possibly

[johnny34]

I think your in the best place to judge having been through it twice before.
Only you know if it could work for you.
Also, depends how the girl views things aswell. Do you think she feels the same?
Have a long hard think & if you think it could work, why not.
It didn't work the first two times so i'd tread carefully.

[MasterChief]

I think your in the best place to judge having been through it twice before.
Only you know if it could work for you.
Also, depends how the girl views things aswell. Do you think she feels the same?
Have a long hard think & if you think it could work, why not.
It didn't work the first two times so i'd tread carefully.

Hold on was not even considering another relationship with a WG, just interested in others experience of this.

Just looked at the original post and see where you get that from though!

[AnthG]

Hold on was not even considering another relationship with a WG, just interested in others experience of this

I think its a topic where if you admit it, you are opening yourself up for some jibes.

Personally speaking I have found a good few girls I have seen attractive and if they asked me out. I'd definitely accept. And I also have fancied the pants of one particular WG. But the feeling was definitely not reciprocated. I constantly worry due to that that I may have inadvertantly made her feel uncomfortable and this may have been one of the major reasons she retired from this business.

The problem with me is, I am not brilliant in social skills and not the best looking - hence the reason why I see WGs in the first place. I also suffer from major foot in mouth syndrome. So if there is a girl I am attracted to. If there is one thing I should not say in a particular moment. This will be the thing that I do say. So fancying a WG will pretty much always be a one way street for me.

On the general subject I get the feeling from warnings from others you would need to be very careful as most are in it for the long con so to speak to try and get way more money from you than they could via just a booking.

So if the girl in question sees you for free and offers no sob stories of I need this or that but what can I do then I think it may be ok. But from what I have seen you have better chance of pulling the mains of a unicorn that a WG.

[MasterChief]

Jibe away, but it's not a road I would go down again, not with any girl (Not that any would want to given my ascending years, expanding waistline and general "angry old man" aura    )

[johnny34]

Hold on was not even considering another relationship with a WG, just interested in others experience of this.
Just looked at the original post and see where you get that from though!

Sorry Parisno, just the way i read it. 

[Barry Shipton]

It's a bit like asking if any relationship will work - who knows - but with the added complication that for the girls it's a job and punters aren't noted as being the most faithful and trustworthy blokes, otherwise why would we be on here?

But it can work, seemed to for a girl I saw regularly a few years back, she retired to settle down with a punter but then her personal life was a bit of an emotional trainwreck and she was only in it to support her kids that her waster if a partner couldn't/didn't.

Kept in touch for a while after she retired and it seemed to be going ok, so I hoped it worked out for her.

[virgil]

Not the same sort of thing, I realise, but over the years I have had friendships outside work with quite a few WGs and I made it my assumption i would always carry on with the sex being paid for.

Obviously very different from a sexual non-working relationship.

But I have had brilliant friendships wit no sexual tensions because we had sex almost before we knew each others' names and I was able to participate in what could be pretty entangled lives such as I had never known outside these situations.

[MasterChief]

Sorry Parisno, just the way i read it.

Hey no probs, my fault should have worded it better, a few people have expressed surprise when I tell them of these relationships and was wondering if it is that unusual

[FLYING BLUE]

Over the years, I have 'got along famously' with a few of my regular punting girls & grew quite fond of them in a friendly platonic kind of way where I was genuinely interested in their general wellbeing BUT, I have never assumed that I was anything else other than a 'meal ticket' to any of them & I never will.

[webpunter]

The whole EAS thing is discussed again
I've had the opportunity to go on a 'date' with a WG abroad who expressly stated that "no money" for a lunch / afternoon's sex - before she went back to work that evening
Good for the ego that she's up for it & that she likes me blah blah blah
Was sure that paying for lunch / drinks would be about the same cost overall
Didn't take up the offer - only coz i picked up a civvie shag which was far better
Will be re-visiting said place sometime & if the WG in question is there then confident that i can line this up
Bit concerned that what seems a great shag in the early hours / alcohol fuelled / dim lighting isn't going to quite look the same in daylight hours & sober
Will still go for it - if only to tick the box.  And ego boosted.  Expectation is that it'll probably be just about ok - sure that we'll soon run out of things to talk about.  I think of it like an itch that needs to be scratched - even though we all know its not the best thing to do
As for stuff over here with WG's - certain to end in disaster in all manner of ways.  Maybe some fun along the way - if you're prepared to expect the downside when the wheels come off well & truly
Err .... avoid 

[NotTooOld4It]

Over the years, I have 'got along famously' with a few of my regular punting girls & grew quite fond of them in a friendly platonic kind of way where I was genuinely interested in their general wellbeing BUT, I have never assumed that I was anything else other than a 'meal ticket' to any of them & I never will.

I have the same sort of thing ith my regular girl. But you're spot on. Business is business

[sesalovdarlo]

If it bothered you in the past, why wouldn't it bother you again? Why do you want to get into a relationship with a WG? Why not a none WG?

[MasterChief]

If it bothered you in the past, why wouldn't it bother you again? Why do you want to get into a relationship with a WG? Why not a none WG?

It didn't. It doesn't. I don't. I am

[sentinel]

Can't see how a relationship would ever work as there would be no trust on either side.

How would she know that he wasn't still seeing other WG's and how would he know that she wouldn't ditch him as soon as someone else came along.

Also, would anyone really want their girlfriend/partner to be getting shagged by as many as a dozen different guys during the day and then climbing into his bed last thing at night.

[denyason]

fucking a girl, no matter a working girl plays with ones emotions- that only natural, how "god" made us (only nufc is my god btw).  i see similar issues to what is happening to me right now....i'm enjoying the moment, having the time of my life with "my dream bird".  cannot wait for our trip....such a big itinerary.....all the romantic stuff lol, high end this n that.  wouldn't do it with any girl mind but i'm living the moment so to speak- fuck knows when/ what will happen.  its because of her i'm escorting once a fortnight- not as prolific as when i was 20- did once a week, sometimes did one girl after the other in same flat.  before i'd do a punt now and again as a treat.  its good to know i'm not alone but its only true that i'm not scared to shout about it.

[john boy]

Live the dream lifes short  very short

[cannyangus]

I can never see a relationship with a working .girl working out.When you meet up with one at an appointment it`s all an act- some better at.acting than others.The majority of girls do not tell friends and family they are escorting so they have to start lying..To some this becomes second nature and they are very good at it.To totally believe in an escort is very risky.

[nova painted floozie]

Can't see how a relationship would ever work as there would be no trust on either side.

How would she know that he wasn't still seeing other WG's and how would he know that she wouldn't ditch him as soon as someone else came along.

Also, would anyone really want their girlfriend/partner to be getting shagged by as many as a dozen different guys during the day and then climbing into his bed last thing at night.

Why would it matter if he was seeing other WGs - she's seeing punters?
The other bit about ditching him for someone else - that isn't WG specific. That could happen in any relationship.

[sentinel]

Why would it matter if he was seeing other WGs - she's seeing punters?
The other bit about ditching him for someone else - that isn't WG specific. That could happen in any relationship.

That's precisely why it wouldn't work, if she is seeing punters and he is seeing other WG's

Might work if she packed in escorting and he packed in punting, then they could behave much the same as other couples in a relationship. Mutual trust being the first priority.

[nova painted floozie]

That's precisely why it wouldn't work, if she is seeing punters and he is seeing other WG's

Might work if she packed in escorting and he packed in punting, then they could behave much the same as other couples in a relationship. Mutual trust being the first priority.

I guess it would be fair if they both packed in those activities but equally fair if they both carried on.
Being much the same as other couples isn't necessarily a good thyng.

[Eager Thighs]

Driving to work one morning I noticed a WG's window had been put through. I text her to see if everything was ok, that resulted in a few long phone calls about her abusive boyfriend who had smashed her house up and was sitting in Durham nick looking at some serious bird. She invited me out to town for some drinks which I declined due to the locality, she then invited me to her house for drinks which I also declined. That's about as close as I've come to any kind of relationship with a WG. Never did see her again, she retired 6 months later. Nice girl but hated her 'job'.

[MasterChief]

I guess it would be fair if they both packed in those activities but equally fair if they both carried on.
Being much the same as other couples isn't necessarily a good thyng.

Indeed, I completely agree with this and your other comments, I am not now, have never been, and hope never to be the same as everyone else, I do not go out of my way not to conform, I just seem to have different viewpoints and attitudes to most people, in almost every aspect of life. I like this forum as I can freely discuss one aspect of my non-conformity, society frowns upon prostitution, I can not for the life of me figure out why this is so.

[Shearer1955]

My two pennies worth for what it is should be for you to ask why you see a WG -  I would imagine for most it is the level of intimacy without any real concerns about moral issues because some of the things you enjoy; you would not consider doing at home with the wife / girlfriend. It is  maybe a more comforting thought that you can get real dirty with a WG but you perhaps wouldn't want your partner to participate in quite the same way.  So if you actually got involved with a WG would it then transform the relationship in so far as you would be uncomfortable with what you know she is doing with punters - it is a dilemma that comes down to how you feel about the whole issue

[nova painted floozie]

But would you be uncomfortable or would you just get on with it and say 'that's her job - she does that for money, but what I have with her is a different thyng.' 
Not everyone can do this, but some can.

[Boundless]

I have a great relationship with a reg, we always have a long chat and a good laugh as well as the sex. If she doesn't have another booking she always says that I don't have to rush off.  BUT unless and until she says that I don't have to pay, it's a business deal pure and simple, albeit with some pleasantries thrown in.

After all, I always have a chat and a laugh with the checkout girls in ASDA, but I won't be getting my shopping free!

[daftlad123]

simple...dont do it!

as much as therye our secret fantasies and respect is usually shown on both sides id imagine in most cases if you cut off the money theyll cut you off.ive tried to strike up a couple of friendships with girls that i genuinly liked and even tried to help them out at times but its not worked for me cos if you dont pay therye not interested.i could certainly never date a girl who sells herself for money and yes its double standards and hypocritical.im sure its nothing personal to me that they dont want to get too friendly with a punter.they sell therye bodies...we buy then we both move on.

ps..never ever loan a WG money as youll never get it back in cash and probably not in kind either.i found that one out from experience too!!

[Barry Shipton]

But would you be uncomfortable or would you just get on with it and say 'that's her job - she does that for money, but what I have with her is a different thyng.' 
Not everyone can do this, but some can.

Before I punted I could never have understood this - and just read a thread on Saafe about escorts balancing work and relationships, and the bad reactions from some boyfriends.
Now I can understand it - in fact I think only another escort or a punter can really understand what an escort's job is like. Which is why we call those outside the business civvies.
Which means in theory punters would make the ideal partners for escorts - but I suppose the irony is the minute you step over the line and become a punter then you also become the least trustworthy potential partner.

[Barry Shipton]

I would imagine for most it is the level of intimacy without any real concerns about moral issues because some of the things you enjoy; you would not consider doing at home with the wife / girlfriend. It is  maybe a more comforting thought that you can get real dirty with a WG but you perhaps wouldn't want your partner to participate in quite the same way.

Now for me it's no different - but then I am more a vanilla GFE type and not into any fetishes - except that any chance to get down and dirty at home dried up years ago.

[nova painted floozie]

Before I punted I could never have understood this - and just read a thread on Saafe about escorts balancing work and relationships, and the bad reactions from some boyfriends.
Now I can understand it - in fact I think only another escort or a punter can really understand what an escort's job is like. Which is why we call those outside the business civvies.
Which means in theory punters would make the ideal partners for escorts - but I suppose the irony is the minute you step over the line and become a punter then you also become the least trustworthy potential partner.

I can see the logic of a WG dating a punter (whether still actively punting or not) in that he is more likely to understand that world.
Why would you be the least trustworthy partner though? If everythyng is out in the open, surely there would be more trust.

[Barry Shipton]

Least trustworthy because for me I overstepped a moral line when I punted and you can't ever go back. It's something I thought I would never do (although I don't regret it).
I meant least trustworthy probably in the eyes of civvies - who would view escorts and punters as somehow morally bankrupt.
But I suppose the problem with a WG and a punter is that you both know how easy it is - quick text, call or email and a spare half hour is all it needs. Because of that you would both really need to trust each other.

[Boundless]

I've met the partners of several WG's and I'm always amazed at how matter-of-fact they are about the world of punting. You sit having a beer and a chat about the weather, then take their Mrs upstairs and fuck the daylights out of her. I think that a lot of the time the couple have been swingers and it's escalated from there. I suppose if you don't mind if you're partner gets fucked by someone else, then why not get paid for it.
i wouldn't be able to cope with that for sure.

[Shearer1955]

I think daftlad summed it up as it is effectively a simple business transaction between 2 people - someone provides a service and the other party pays for it. No doubt there will be the odd exception for whatever reason one takes a genuine shine to the other but  there is also the fact that some people take advantage of others and some girls are clever enough to identify weaknesses with some punters and use this to benefit financially from them - as with most things in life money talks

[Josh Klinghoffer]

I've met the partners of several WG's and I'm always amazed at how matter-of-fact they are about the world of punting. You sit having a beer and a chat about the weather, then take their Mrs upstairs and fuck the daylights out of her. I think that a lot of the time the couple have been swingers and it's escalated from there. I suppose if you don't mind if you're partner gets fucked by someone else, then why not get paid for it.
i wouldn't be able to cope with that for sure.

This is a subject that comes up time and time again. I'm not sure it is for everyone, but I know of WG's in Manchester who have long term partners, or even who have been married for years, and for them at least, it seems to work. Does the same apply to porn actors / actresses who have partners?

[Marmite]

Does the same apply to porn actors / actresses who have partners?

I've known a few people in the porn world and the only ones that appear to have had a successful long term relationship are those that have met on set.

[Marmite]

I can see the logic of a WG dating a punter (whether still actively punting or not) in that he is more likely to understand that world.

I can understand how some people can be in an open relationship with a WG where both have sex with many partners without emotional commitment.

Personally I could not date a WG if she was still working, it is not the sex that is the problem but my concern of her being attacked and my subsequent reaction.

[JV547845]

Why would you be the least trustworthy partner though?

Least trustworthy because for me I overstepped a moral line when I punted and you can't ever go back.

I don't think punting's immoral or would make me less trustworthy but then I'm single.

[nutley]

I have recently developed a strong relationship with a young WG who I have been seeing regularly. Twice a week. We text each other a lot but I'm married and I feel I should stop seeing her. I fancy her too much and the sex is unbelievable. She tells me the sex is amazing for her too. She's dropped hints that I could help her with her flat etc.. I'm on the brink if stopping seeing her because for one thing it's costing me a fortune and also I just like her too much. I also think she's naive and slightly vulnerable.

[Barry Shipton]

I don't think punting's immoral or would make me less trustworthy but then I'm single.

Funnily enough I don't think my Mrs would agree with you on that!

I have recently developed a strong relationship with a young WG who I have been seeing regularly. Twice a week. We text each other a lot but I'm married and I feel I should stop seeing her. I fancy her too much and the sex is unbelievable. She tells me the sex is amazing for her too. She's dropped hints that I could help her with her flat etc.. I'm on the brink if stopping seeing her because for one thing it's costing me a fortune and also I just like her too much. I also think she's naive and slightly vulnerable.

Think you both need to be very straight with each other - if she's doing her job right then she should be telling you the sex is amazing, making you feel great and keeping you as a regular. Then you just have the problem of keeping solvent!

But if it means more than just a bit of paid fun for either of you then you have to ask is it worth your marriage and half your house for something that might not work out? I ask myself that about any woman I see - and it suddenly makes it a very, very short list. But only you really know the answer to this and by what I am picking up it sounds like you already know you need to end it.

[JV547845]

Funnily enough I don't think my Mrs would agree with you on that!

Yeah well she (and any other civvy ignoramus) will never know.  Does she go on Mumsnet with all the other bitchy women?

[nova painted floozie]

I can understand how some people can be in an open relationship with a WG where both have sex with many partners without emotional commitment.

Personally I could not date a WG if she was still working, it is not the sex that is the problem but my concern of her being attacked and my subsequent reaction.

Why would there need to be no emotional commitment? Or did you mean that outside the relationship there would be no commitment?
If you can say 'we both have sex for fun with other people but we don't date them or have an emotional attachment to them, that bit is specific to us.' Still not for everyone but some people definitely make it work. 
Also, I'm not sure if you overestimate how likely it is for a WG to be attacked. I have worked for 2 and a half years and never encountered any violence or aggression of any kind in person. (But I might not be representative.)

[Shearer1955]

nutley - Is she naive and vulnerable or clever and manipulative

[Boundless]

I have recently developed a strong relationship with a young WG who I have been seeing regularly. Twice a week. We text each other a lot but I'm married and I feel I should stop seeing her. I fancy her too much and the sex is unbelievable. She tells me the sex is amazing for her too. She's dropped hints that I could help her with her flat etc.. I'm on the brink if stopping seeing her because for one thing it's costing me a fortune and also I just like her too much. I also think she's naive and slightly vulnerable.

Without wishing to be rude, I can't help wondering how amazing the sex would be for her if you turned up without your wallet.

I heard alarm bells too at the helping with the flat bit.

Call me a cynical old bastard if you like. 

[sentinel]

Nutley,

I would stop seeing her before she cleans you out.

Bet she wouldn't let you have sex if you weren't paying her, ask her for a freebie and see what happens then.

[squeezebox]

Plenty said already:
 
FWIW,  I think you need to be a certain type to hold down a relationship with a WG. Open and able to control all emotions, even actively encourage/support her in what she does. If you ask her to stop and change, that could easily alter the dynamics between you.

I find it hard to believe the stories of WG boyfriends/partners "putting up" on sufferance while she goes off and gets shagged senseless by Tom and Abduls Dick.   

When would it cross over to being like a pimp? I suppose if you benefited from the money she was making in some form, then that would do it!

 

[Boundless]

I think a tendency to EAS is one of the occupational hazards of punting.

As Nova said, if a WG is doing her job well, you should feel special, just as you would want to in a hotel or restaurant.

There are two scenarios:
1 She is good at her job. Excellent, no problem, enjoy it.

2 She really fancies you and wants to have a relationship. You then have to decide whether to reciprocate - for me that would be the time to bale out.

[nutley]

Yep I agree with all those comments re my situation.. I'm not stupid enough to know what it's all about.. I haven't got the time to help her out with her flat anyway.. My family and job take up most of my time.. Stopping seeing her is hard tho as she's ticking every box and then some..