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External Link/Members Only TLDR: Super new age hippy approach to punting that essentially left me with 5 minutes worth of lacklustre teasing handjob followed by 1 minute of sex in one position that didn’t really scratch the itch.
Wish I had walked Didnt enjoy and wouldn’t return…
Price(s): £130 for one hour ‘escort’ service but I got a halfway guru handjob experience and was out the door after 35-40 mins… The 1/2 hour Hingham massage service is what I got which was half the price… I was up front about services requested and expect and they were not delivered.
Logistics: Easy enough at first, location sent and 1 hour slot agreed the night before. But when it came time she asked for a further 15 minutes past the time agreed to get ready and then was made to wait another 15 minutes after that. She saw me out the window and messaged me that she was also having a cigarette, so apparently that’s what I was waiting for het to finish… 5 more minutes of freezing cold waiting outside and was 2 seconds away from bailing when she finally said to come up.
Location: It’s clearly her apartment which was dark and very hippy/new-age. Only one heater in the apartment so most of the place is freezing cold whilst the couch and dinner table is the only warm part. She pretty much ordered me to take my watch off (alarm bells rang at this) and I placed my phone and watch on the table next to the heater : only to return to them at the end of the punt and they were boiling hot/too hot to touch. Brand new iPhone battery fucked then… great…
Looks: As others have said the pics are her but from like 15 years ago. She was fit back then and has flashes of beauty now but droopy tits and the funny teeth were almost a dealbreaker for me. Wish I had walked.
Attitude & Service: She has a routine and I can’t be bothered to go into all of it so highlights:
- Lots of very wistful swipes of your body, meant to be sensual but didn’t do much for me. Think of a 5 year old playing a in a field waving their arms around like a ballerina, and then swiping finger tips on your shoulders. Came across really awkward to be honest.
- Makes you stand whilst she sort of dances around you.
- Lays you down on bed for oily massage which at least focused on little CoMo, but it wasn’t all that great.
- Finally got on top (blue pill was working hard to keep little CoMo standing to attention) and she did the most hippy/lacklustre cowgirl ever.
- I finally got bored and just kind of pumped her cowgirl to finish. Very unsatisfying orgasm.
theotherthingthatyoureallycantavoidisthefactthatshetalksahellofalotaboutnewagemantralinghamhippycrap
andleepstalkingaboutitandtellingyouallsortsofthingseventhoughyouarentinterested
shedoesthatthingthatmodernwankyoutubersalldoofleavingzZEROgapsbetweensentencesandpointsso
youdontreallyhaveachancetobuttinoraddorevenjointheconversationitsalmostlikealecturethatyou
havetositthroughprepuntandthenpostpuntwheniwaskeentoleaveshejustwouldntshutthefuckup She talked so fucking much that in the end I had to be rude and basically ignore her and start getting my stuff together to leave. Even if there was a chance of round two (which didn’t seem like it from her chat) I literally did not want to. Literally ‘could not be fucked’ in all the senses.
Then the bombshell that torpedoed this from a ‘meh’ neutral to a definite negative.
outright refused and told me not to shower before leaving which could be a dealbreaker for many punters like me who can’t go home
absolutely stinking of tea tree oil and olbas salts
Had an itchy cock and balls the whole drive home thanks to the oils and THANK FUCK the O-H was out when I got home so I could jump in the shower. Another family member immediately noticed and commented upon it though, so hoping my cover story of getting a cold holds…
Conclusion: You might get into the whole alternative super slow ‘galactic’ orgasm if you’re into new age hippy bollocks…. but then I highly doubt that’s you if you are a punter lurking on here, you’d already be in a commune experiencing free love and smoking weed.
For £130 I was promised owo and kissing in an escort service, but received an oily slow shit handjob with slow boring cowgirl that I had to finish. Handjob was 8 minutes, sex was 2, and talking was 30. Left 40 minutes into my 60 minute punt with only one pop and shower refused.
Would I return? Even at current prices it would be a
fuck no but she says she is upping her prices a lot soon which turns that into
hell fucking no …
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