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Author Topic: This poor guy. Gotta feel for him  (Read 3982 times)

Offline Sienna_Bronze

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I get really annoyed when I see the phrase "family money".  I know that's how the courts often see it, but relying on another person for income is pathetic.  You don't have a moral right to someone else's income unless they explicitly choose to share it with you. Yes, if you have kids you have an obligation to look after them, but that certainly doesn't extend to just handing over your paycheck to someone else.

I see it a lot with stay at home mothers once their kids are in school.  They just sit around with each other drinking coffee and stuffing cake into their increasingly fat faces between 10AM and 3AM and claiming they have a hard life.

I think if you and your partner choose to have kids and the woman takes a break in her career to raise them then often the guy chooses to become the breadwinner. Childcare is so expensive it doesn't make sense for both parents to work.
Banning reason: Trolling

Offline SirFrank

What I detest about mumsnet is the sanctimonious holier than thou attitude. They'd happily outlaw page 3, glamour modelling, porn and prostitution - driving many women out of their chosen profession. They are at best misguided and somehow believe they have the god given right to speak on behalf of all women, even though women is these professions are rarely asked their opinion. The bottom line nearly always comes back to women being exploited, degraded, have issues etc etc. I'm pretty sure that for some of the dried up prunes there is certainly an elemnt of jealousy involved
Banning reason: Shitstirring against admin on behalf of banned member

Offline sam55

Mumsnet is full of men hating cunts, most of whom are married to men who punt because they've not had any pussy at home since little Miley-Shakira came along. If they spent more time looking after their fellas instead of bitching about porn, prostitutes and men online their fellas probably wouldn't be paying women to blow them off. Mumsnet can go fuck it's own face. If this dried up old cunt wants to know who's to blame for her husband shagging prossies she just needs to look in the mirror. My advice to this man hater is - put some fucking minge into it love

Brilliant Sir F!!!   :lol: :lol: :lol:

Superb stuff, please never stop posting mate.

put some fucking minge into it love - nearly spat my beer over the laptop, Mrs just asked me what was so funny!!
« Last Edit: August 25, 2014, 09:56:23 pm by sam55 »

Mumsnet aka boredhousewivesnet is nothing more than a bunch of feminists who think they know it all when in reality they're a group of bored, unattractive, housewives trying to console each other for their own failings by blaming everything on men. These size 14 pluses with their bushy loose fannies need to let off steam and live in their own little world away from reality. They need to justify their shit somehow. Mumsnet gives them that medium.

Offline wristjob

I get really annoyed when I see the phrase "family money".  I know that's how the courts often see it, but relying on another person for income is pathetic.  You don't have a moral right to someone else's income unless they explicitly choose to share it with you. Yes, if you have kids you have an obligation to look after them, but that certainly doesn't extend to just handing over your paycheck to someone else.

I see it a lot with stay at home mothers once their kids are in school.  They just sit around with each other drinking coffee and stuffing cake into their increasingly fat faces between 10AM and 3AM and claiming they have a hard life.

I have some sympathy for this. If a woman gives up her career or puts it on hold to have kids and bring them up for a period she will naturally restart work at a lower grade and that's pretty much the case for the rest of her working life. Couple of things though. Firstly nobody gets it when the guy does this (which happens) and whrn a woman spends loads on QVC, yet another dress to wear once, nails so she can be the most glamourous size 18 bird in Greggs and buying up everything on itunes it can be hard to complain, yet when the guy wants to indulge his interests "family money".


It makes me laugh how a lot of the women posting assume that the WG is a skanky , drug fuelled ,STD ridden munter .....


I've often wondered about this too as it's a frequently used line or attack (or is it defence?) amongst wives/girlfriends who find out their OH is punting.
So logically, he's paying to have sex with a nasty skanky ho rather than try (again) to sleep with you - and that's supposed to make you feel better about yourself??? Wouldn't it make more sense if you said to yourself, 'well, she must be an absolute stunner and incredible in bed. Why else would he stray?'
No, can never understand girl logic.

Offline Anadin

It's funny to read the female perspective on men & sex, it's so warped. Anyway I never plan on getting married or having kids so this will never be my problem thankfully.

Offline Matium

The women on Mumsnet don't actually have a problem with the sex, what makes them livid is that "their" money is being used to pay for prostitutes.

As every married man on here knows and can tell you, once you're married, all your money becomes "her" money.

jcdmj12

  • Guest
I think if you and your partner choose to have kids and the woman takes a break in her career to raise them then often the guy chooses to become the breadwinner. Childcare is so expensive it doesn't make sense for both parents to work.

Depends if you find a wife in a well-paid job or not.  Personally, I'd hate to be married to a stay at home mother, all my mates' wives who have done that have turned into very boring people from having no stimulation apart from babies and other mumsnet-types.


jcdmj12

  • Guest
What I detest about mumsnet is the sanctimonious holier than thou attitude. They'd happily outlaw page 3, glamour modelling, porn and prostitution - driving many women out of their chosen profession. They are at best misguided and somehow believe they have the god given right to speak on behalf of all women, even though women is these professions are rarely asked their opinion. The bottom line nearly always comes back to women being exploited, degraded, have issues etc etc. I'm pretty sure that for some of the dried up prunes there is certainly an elemnt of jealousy involved

They dislike it because sex workers lower the collective value of the holy vagina.  Punters are immune to the whole sex-blackmail thing many women love to do, because they can get it cheaper on tap.

Offline wristjob

They dislike it because sex workers lower the collective value of the holy vagina.  Punters are immune to the whole sex-blackmail thing many women love to do, because they can get it cheaper on tap.

Exactly. Can't ration something when there's better available on tap.

Mumsnet is full of men hating cunts, most of whom are married to men who punt because they've not had any pussy at home since little Miley-Shakira came along. If they spent more time looking after their fellas instead of bitching about porn, prostitutes and men online their fellas probably wouldn't be paying women to blow them off. Mumsnet can go fuck it's own face. If this dried up old cunt wants to know who's to blame for her husband shagging prossies she just needs to look in the mirror. My advice to this man hater is - put some fucking minge into it love

+1. Absolutely fucking right.

tcm


Offline SirFrank

I'm not for one minute suggesting women should be subservient sex slaves for their husbands, I'm merely trying to point out that all relationships generally involve compromise - ie doing things that your partner enjoys doing (perhaps more than you do). Sex isn't some grubby pastime and punting isn't an activity undertaken solely by dirty old men in rain coats. If women think they can withhold sex indefinitely and their fellas won't look elsewhere they are deluded
Banning reason: Shitstirring against admin on behalf of banned member

Offline richie

About the only post on there that was anywhere near accurate was the first one commenting on a lack of sex at home being a cause, the rest is all shite!

And what's this bollox they keep spouting about "family money" or alike being used to pay for sex? As far as I'm concerned if you earn it then you get to spend it. How many of these stay at home mumsnet fucktards actually contribute as much to the household income as there husbands?

Fair enough you have to cover the bills but that should be an even split between you, any disposable income left over is the property of the person that earnt it. Any other view espoused by a woman is surely just hypocritical given the decades of campaigning they've done to gain absolute equality? I thought they had fought not to be kept women, guess I was wrong...

Offline pokenn

What's amazing is what an unrealistic view all the mumsnet women have. Do they live on another planet from normal people. Has it NEVER occured to them that any normal bloke will look elsewhere if his wife cuts off the sex. They make it sound like the guy is in some way abnormal, but in fact what he did is perfectly normal and what most red-blooded blokes would do.

Sorry Fellas, as the only statement we have is from the wife we have to assume the DH is spending money he cannot afford on escorts. If that is the case then he's a dick! Paying for sex is a luxury not a right, if he can't afford it then he should use his hand!
Regarding the general mumsnet response to prostitution and punting I find very interesting. Most are accepting of there DH watching porn but not paying for sex. I suppose for fidelity purposes there is a difference but surely not a moral difference. Just as making child porn and watching child is as morally contemptible as each other then making adult porn and watching adult  porn are morally the same. The thing is some cheating bastard is making the porn for there DH to get off to. Personally I would rather do it myself than watch. Makes me a cheater however but my morals are to the same level as people watching porn
Happy punting.

Offline Sienna_Bronze

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As far as I'm concerned if you earn it then you get to spend it. How many of these stay at home mumsnet fucktards actually contribute as much to the household income as there husbands?

Fair enough you have to cover the bills but that should be an even split between you, any disposable income left over is the property of the person that earnt it.

I'm gonna stick my neck out here and probably get slated but I really disagree with your comment. Like I said before if a woman (and it is usually the woman) gives up her career to have kids then yes of course the man has a duty to provide for her until she is able to go out to work again.

I wasn't a stay at home mum type, but I had no choice while I was in a relationship and looking after kids. I did all the chores, all his washing ironing and preparing meals etc. Sex with him wad seen as another chore way down on the list of my priorities (since he did fuck all in the house).

I knew he was messing about elsewhere, and I was too. It was an ok relationship otherwise but it had to end because sex became an issue between us, and talking to my mates this is a common issue.
Banning reason: Trolling

 'If women think they can withhold sex indefinitely and their fellas won't look elsewhere they are deluded '

Absolutely spot on !!!!!!

And as for watching porn . ....my wife informed me once that although it's not widespread - in the past she has got together with friends
for a girly , wine driven night in,-  watching ... wait for it !!! .....GAY porn ....WTF is that all about .

My wife is pretty approachable when it comes to discussing things ..but as I have stated in other postings ,we've had
 'THE conversation ' a few times over the last few years ...and NOTHING has changed . Because of punting (and I couldn't do it without -although only 6-8 times a year ) I have completely shown no interest in sex with Mrs Frenchie .

Two BJ's in the last nine months have been nice .....but my requests on very odd occasions are often met with ' OK ' .. but then if I don't say anything ...again NOTHING happens .

I've often said to my wife that if ALL wives had sex with their husbands once a week and gave them a BJ once a month they would 99% never stray ... until you punt refusal to indulge in such things as rimming , anal, water sports etc in my book is reasonable ....
BUT after your first foray into punting you realise that for a reasonable amount of money you can have a gorgeous creature - dressed in exactly what turns you on , stick her tongue up your arse whilst wanking you off before spraying your spunk all over her face !!!
(substitute your own ' the wife won't do that ' likes list )

As people have said, once you start down this road of punting you don't ever stop ...and while domestic circumstances continue like the poor bloke on mumsnet long will punting  continue !! (and increase )

Sorry to go off topic a bit - but it really does help me to get things off my chest.........


 I'm gonna stick my neck out here and probably get slated but I really disagree with your comment. Like I said before if a woman (and it is usually the woman) gives up her career to have kids then yes of course the man has a duty to provide for her until she is able to go out to work again.


 The working environment is more geared up for men and therefore easier for men to make a living. Woman also generally are much better at staying at home and looking after the kids than men (generally!)  maybe I'm old school but the man must provide for his family first if he has to stop drinking, smoking, gambling or paying for sex then so be it. It is our Raison d'ĂȘtre to make babies but to split that down further it is also a mans duty to provide and nurture if he has too regardless of whether or not his mrs is giving him any! Go, have sex try a LMP. Duos whatever, as long as you can afford it!
Simples




The whole issue could have been resolved if the guy being discussed had taken simple precautions

1) Always use a punting phone/sim
2) Dont use your shared computer for browsing escort sites (a decent tablet can be had for less than the price of a punt)
3) Never withdraw punting money from a shared bank account in big lump sums
4) Never pay for adultwork on your credit card - use UKash vouchers or the like instead

It isn't rocket science and a salient reminder to exercise caution in the future.

Personally, I think he brought it all on himself.  Arguing over whether his wife's pov is fair is going to get him nowhere.  Very few wives in this situation will admit it is their fault - and neither will their divorce lawyers.

Offline JV547845

I wasn't a stay at home mum type, but I had no choice while I was in a relationship and looking after kids. I did all the chores, all his washing ironing and preparing meals etc. Sex with him wad seen as another chore way down on the list of my priorities (since he did fuck all in the house).

Cheers Sienna, interesting to hear the female POV.  How much of it was due to your ex partner in particular?  Or would the lack of sex life have happened no matter who you were with, if the relationship went the same way / became a chore?

Offline Dani

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I am quite highly sexed but when I had toddlers the last thing on my mind was sex.  I couldn't even contemplate it.  I was knackered.  Not only did I work all day cleaning, cooking, and looking after the kids (which can be bloody hard work by the way, which is why men don't volunteer to stay home with them) I also worked nights.  I would get roughly 3 hours sleep every 24 apart from weekends.  I worked all bloody day apart form 3 hours when I slept and then worked all night but he was too tired to help out after an 8 hour day but expected me to not be too tired when he wanted sex.

I do think many woman go off sex when they have kids as they are worn out.  Babies and toddlers can be very draining.  However they then get into the routine of not having sex so eventually they lose their sex drive.  Getting back into the routine can be very difficult.  However I never understand the whole I have had the kids all day so I am too tired.  Jeez I would have loved to have only had the kids during the day and not had to work all night as well. 

As for shared money, if the guy wants kids and decides the female is going to give up work to stay at home then it is down to him to support her and nay money is family money.  Same if she works and he stays at home.  Any earnings are joint money until the kids don't need someone home all day.  However once the kids go to school you should both be working again.  No excuses on that one.

However I think she was so upset as not only were they struggling to pay the mortgage and put food ont he table he wouldn't even let her spend on his daughters birthday as he said they cant afford it.  I am sorry but mortgage, food, bills and your kids come before punting or any other hobby.
She was also quite pissed that he started seeing an escort when they were trying for a baby so when they were having plenty of sex..  That would have made me angry too as he could have caught an STI and passed it on to the mother which can cause a variety of defects in the unborn child.  Forget cheating, or the money that is the one that would have done it for me and I would have fucking killed him.  No good saying he had safe sex when he was giving RO so was at a small risk.  No risk should be acceptable when you are trying for a baby.
At the end of the day he should not have been trying for a baby if he was seeing escorts as was obviously having unprotected sex with his wife so was putting her at risk plus if you marriage is that bad why try for another baby?

Offline Sienna_Bronze

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For me the issue of sex came about because he didn't do anything to help out not even a little bit, so by the time we were child free I just wanted to go to bed. Once this became a pattern I started to see sex as another thing he wanted me to do for him, not a mutual thing where we were both horny and up for it. And as Dani rightly says the baby/toddler strange is god awful and draining.

I stopped finding him sexually attractive due to the underlying little digs about our sex life, and when I knew he was at it with someone else I decided to too. Aafter the first one night stand I felt alive and not just some skivvy housewife covered in baby snot. He changed after we had kids, well his attitude to me did.

This is a common problem between my friends, most of them married guys in the forces so I know if that brings along different issues. We all married and had kids young, moved away from our families and found it hard to find work. Would this have happened in another relationship, I don't know. All I know is that my friend (who is not with a forces guy) was in tears the other day over the same issue (tired, depressed, at home with a small baby all day and constant rows).
Banning reason: Trolling

Offline JV547845

Cheers, sounds like he could've put some effort in from your point of view. 

I've just been trying to work out how to avoid getting into a sexless marriage, the type of which many punters on here complain about.  So far my best answer is to avoid getting into a marriage.


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