External Link/Members OnlyWarning : if you want be titillated with a massage review, leave now for there was no titillating.
Forewarned with some previously poor reviews in the last year I nevertheless rolled the dice and thought I'd give them a try.
Comms : Text a few hours before and got a prompt response.
Location : On the busy A6 next to a takeaway with a handy layby in front.
Visit : Rang the bell and after a minute a smiley Chinese lady, probably mid-30s, let me in. There were 2 working at the time, I think one was called Yaya. I was taken to the end of a short corridor where there was a chair for me to sit on next to the bog. Ah well, never mind they must be running a bit late.
It's a bit of an odd layout there - imagine an open area inside where a shop used to be then someone builds 2 plywood rooms at one side leaving corridor around the exposed 3 sides. In spite of it not being there long the place seemed a bit tatty and not at all like it's pristine and airy sister shop, Lucy Massage in Ashton (only just found out via Torhandle Lucy's owner sold this place on). Anyway the plywood had all the acoustic vertues of a Kleenex tissue, still it was entertaining whilst I was messing about with my phone.... waiting. 10 minutes gone, strewth they're taking their time.
15 minutes now and I was having a good time on this game I'd just downloaded and I felt quite snug in the chair of despair at the end of the corridor with unlimited access to their loo. 20 minutes gone and the slow bastard that I am was realising I was having the piss taken however this was being compensated for by listening to one of the punters trying to impress the lady about how he was now heading off to the gym and his training regime (zzzzzzz). 25 minutes pass and finally sign of life as a different Chinese lady emerges towards me with an armful of tissue paper - gosh, is all that for me? Fortunately it was for the bin. Finally, after Conan the Barbarian had fucked off to pummel some dumbbells, she comes to get me.
So 30 minutes after entering at my appointed time, they're ready for me. With vigorous pointing at my watch I told her I was supposed to be seen half an hour ago and walked to the door. At this point she promises me a "special" massage if I stay. I am guessing this would be the same as a normal massage but with the word 'special' in front of it. By now I'd had enough and wanted to give them the same respect they'd given me and left.
Summary : From previous reviews I was not surprised and after 10 minute waiting had pretty much decided on the outcome. Maybe it was 23Rangersman23 who reviewed recently who stole my slot, if so he owes me one. On a more serious note, this is a pisstake, I take care on several levels to be respectful when I go for a massage and time keeping is only one. Still I saved my money and had a great time with a regular the following week.
Still, if you're in Stockport and you want to go and sit somewhere warm but out of sight for half an hour or so then this is your place.
