External Link/Members Only External Link/Members OnlyFrom searching the profile number, this seems to be a Chinese pump and dump shop that moves around. Been in Ipswich a few weeks but shows up elsewhere in UKP searches.
Doesn't warrant a long review so I'll keep it brief.
Ipswich being its usual desert, me feeling horny, and office hours meaning I needed to go somewhere that stayed open late, I ended up here. Having been somewhere similar elsewhere, my expectations were rock bottom; I only put one hour on the parking in the Duke St car park near the marina, and only took £60 out of the cashpoint so I couldn't be upsold. Really glad I did both.
Nice flat in the block on the marina, no issues there. Usual "behind the door" trick, and entered to meet a not-too-unattractive oriental SP. No way was she the "26 y.o. Malaysian, size 8, C cup very sexy girl" I'd been promised (and about the only thing she managed to say in English was "Hong Kong China" so she contradicted the text comms straight away,) but she was quite cute and short and giggly so I thought "fk it" and stayed.
Terrible Engrish - tried to communicate with me through her phone translator but got bored with that after the first couple of attempts at making small talk (and TBH so did I so I didn't push it.)
Started OK. Decent body, about 5'2", small but pert tits, tiny bit of a belly sag but nothing too bad.
Pretty average massage - more a heat-generating scrub with the inside of her fist - then the turn and on with the dom for some covered oral. Got to play with her pussy which was very lubed up (had to avoid a fairly significant pile hanging out of her arse,) then after about five minutes she hopped onboard in CG.
That was when it started to go downhill. We were about 10-12 minutes in at this point, and I wasn't rushing, and she seemed disappointed I didn't shoot my load in two minutes. After 5 more mins she indicated she wanted doggy, so we pumped away at that for a few mins before she decided it wasn't happening quick enough, made me lie back down and whipped off the dom for an oily handjob.
Again, seemed pissed off I didn't shoot my load immediately and got into a pretty agricultural HJ with a bit of a scowl on her face - sole purpose, get me off and get me out. Still only 20-22 minutes in, and I'm pacing myself, and soon I've got a finger quite roughly up my arse (seems to be the go-to move in these places, when they want you out) and it finally worked.
Jumped up, cleaned up, got dressed and out.
You may be wondering how it manages to be a Neutral, and yes I am debating whether to go for a straight Neg. The only way it gets a neutral is that my expectations were rock bottom, and the service was in line with that - hence the neutral. After all, there's no point flying Ryanair for £20 and then complaining it was crap....
Would I return? Not a chance. I'd rather bash one out at home and save the cash, but we never learn do we?!
