Chinese Massage, Yate, Bristol (formerly Pearl River Massage, still using name)

[joninbristol]

This place was formerly Thai, but has come under new management and is now Chinese.

TL/DR: It's gone downwards in service faster than a cheese rolling chase at Cooper's Hill.

Website: External Link/Members Only

Price: £45 for the hour + £25 HE.

Location: Main road through Yate, walking distance from the station. Not that that's important - read on.

Service:
A classic bait and switch. Although you'd never expect a young buxom 5'8" Chinese model, there's limits.
This one was a 50+ podgy and pretty fugly Chinese woman in what can only be described as her wash-day clothes.
The alternative was her mother, and I wasn't going anywhere near her, even when a four-hand massage was offered.

As I'd gone with the intention of a proper massage with the hope of releasing some shoulder knots, I paid the cash and went with it anyway, mainly because a drive into Bristol was going to add £10 to the council's slush funds just by driving into the CAZ.
Why oh why didn't I just do that instead?
Haggled her down to a still too expensive £25 for a HE, from the £40 she originally wanted, despite the place being empty.
Constant additional upselling attempts during the massage, which was frankly crap, and numerous interruptions from mother in Chinese.

Really wish I hadn't bothered - a wank and a few beers would have been so much more inticing, way more sensual, and a tenth of the price.
Even with the cost and time of the added drive around the congestion zone.
I think I need my bumps examining (no not those ones, and not by her again...)

Upside: At least my eyesight and brain cells aren't yet sufficiently degraded to be tempted by her mother.

Conclusion:
Possibly Certainly my worst outing for a long time. And I've had some crap ones recently. AVOID.

[RickGrime]

Sorry you had to go through that..I thought it was just me..after seeing quite a few positive reviews I decided on driving down..constant tries of upselling by an unattractive (for me) woman, horrible breath which was a massive put off as well..

[joninbristol]

Oh crikey Rick, I feel for you matey, thankfully I didn't go for the FBSM (foul breath stinky mouth) massage.
I think the positive reviews date from when the Thais ran the place, and to their credit they had some good looking girls in back then, who gave a decent service. No more, those days are long gone. I can see why they kept the business name, it deceives nicely to draw the customers in.


Got to be honest, I'd be surprised if this place will remain in business another six months once word gets around - expensive, really bad service and very unattractive ladies. I was virtually press ganged into buying more services before I'd even got my boots off.
Dire place.

[houseboot]

Thai?

It started as Chinese. I only went once which was in the first couple of weeks.

When did it become Thai?

[honkytonkjim]

It was always Chinese and still is.
It’s gone right downhill (it was never a top drawer establishment but you could get lucky)

New owners are nowhere near as good as when Mickey was there. She new what I liked and I could just text her to find out whether it was worth my while.

Now it’s a last resort for me