External Link/Members Only1hr @ £70
Comms: All by text, 3 hours notice. All going well until I received a message 30 mins before the booking telling me she couldn't meet at the arranged time as the landlord was coming. Really? Is that still a thing WG's actually use? Thought that one had been consigned to the dead memes of 2018 graveyard.
10 minutes later received another text, said landlord had departed and it was safe to come up. As if. Anyway..
Location: Modern apartment block with pay and display parking
Sophie: Profile pics heavily filtered with her glammed up to the hilt, reality could never match and indeed did not. Definitely mid 50's and nowhere near as tight-bodied as photo's suggest.
Massage: Shower offered and taken before proceeding. Basic yet moderately soothing massage on the bed using scented oils. Body to body was comical, she went topless and stroked her breasts exactly 4 times across my back, yes I did count. Turned over approximately 30 mins in and she delivered OW then HJ to finish. Back into the shower to remove the oil.
Towel: Somehow Sophie managed to hand me the wrong towel, not the one I had originally used. I only noticed the mistake when drying off and the rank stench of body odour and onions hit me. This was obviously some previous punter's towel and had probably been up their sweaty arse crack.
Got dressed while still damp and couldn't get out that flat fast enough, waves of nausea washing over me. Drove home like Max Verstappen on a hot lap, stopping only briefly at a local supermarket to pick up a bar of Dettol antibacterial soap. Got home and scrubbed my skin raw in the shower for a good 30 mins.
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