External Link/Members OnlyEventually it had to happen. This was a punt so bad I just had to review it here. Sorry chaps, make yourselves comfortable, its gonna be a long read.
So, firstly, the girl I wanted to see was called Champagne. I checked the vivastreet ads and saw there were four or five Thai girls suddenly appeared in Carlisle. Not unusual really, probably en masse from somewhere else for a couple of weeks and that guess proved correct. I choose Champagne as she looked fit enough, even with her face being blurred on the pics. I texted for a time and confirmed Champagne, all was agreed for later that day, this happened this week. I arrived on the street, central Carlisle, and texted to say I had arrived. Thirty minutes came the reply. First red flag. OK, I thought, double booked, not ideal but I can live with it as I was only returning to a hotel room otherwise.
Thirty minutes later I texted again, five minutes came the reply. After another five, it was another 5, and then another. Eventually it was 45 mins after my original time and as I was returning to my car a text arrived, "ready". OK, I thought, Im here now, lets see whats what. A call came and I could not understand what the woman was saying. She spoke quickly in poor English and I just couldnt get it. I kept apologising and saying I dont understand, so English of me, and eventually she hung up the phone and a text came through with the number of the flat and directions to get there.
So, now 50 mins after my original time I was knocking on a door and was let in by a tiny thing wearing a towel and scowling at me. Into an obvious working girls flat, I counted 4 bedrooms at least and into our allocated room. It had the look of temporary accomodation as that was exactly what it is for these girls.
I told her my name and she said she was Jenny
External Link/Members OnlyOh, I said, I thought I was seeing Champagne. No, said Jenny, me.
OK, first impressions not great but I was here now, I offered £120 for 1 hour with FS and oral and she took the money and said, why you no want anal. I do anal for extra £40. You have extra £40 for Jenny for anal.
No I said, Im ok for that. I felt like I had wandered into a sofa shop looking for a side table and was being offered a three piece suit with a rug! It was very much the hard sale. She only mentioned she does anal about 5 more times so at least she didnt go on about it!
Now she lost the towel quite quickly and to be fair her body was tidy. Tiny, but tidy. She says 5ft on the ad but probably only wearing stilettos, anyways, her boobs were firm and probably real. She had no hint of fat on her belly or hips but then as my eyes worked their way down her body, I saw the rug that she was trying to sell earlier. I thought I had arrived at a 1970s porn convention. It was a remarkable and surprising on one so small.
Next red flag was her general demeaner throughout the punt. She sniffed almost constantly and did that clearing her throat thing almost as much. It was like she had her own oral/nasal battle going on that I was not a part of. It became rapidly off putting. She behaved like someone who was having at least three different conversations going on in her head at the same time. I am no doctor but I got the feeling this one needed help rather more than she needed anal.
I asked her if she was ok. No answer. I asked her if she needed some help, again, no answer. Then she took a phone call in Thai for a good five minutes, whilst kinda rubbing me all over, I was laying on my back at this point. I held her hand and again asked if she was ok, she ignored me and instead reached for the baby oil and poured it onto the little man. He briefly flickered into life, I really wasnt feeling it by this time. She ended the call, pumped her hand up and down about 6 times and then said, tired now, hand sore, and just stopped.
Well, thats it I guess. I really wanted to depart as quickly as I could, no towel to wash the river of baby oil off my groin and legs so I used the bed blanket. Sorry whoever went there next, its only baby oil, honest.
She continued to sniff and clear her throat whilst maintaining an almost constant conversation out loud with the voices in her head. I didnt want to leave her like this as she seemed confused and really vulnerable. I heard a door go somewhere else in the flat so decided she wasnt alone and got dressed to depart. She then came over to me and gave me the longest hug which really freaked me out, like she was saying goodbye to someone she had known for years rather than 30 minutes.
As I left the room I saw a very ancient Thai woman in the lounge area and told her that I was worried about Jenny and could she look after her. Jenny fine she said. and then she said, you have good time? Err well, not really I said, I was worried about Jenny. Jenny fine she shouted at me and I thought by this stage that was my cue to leave them to it.
Jenny said at one point in her ramblings they were all off to Newcastle soon, so lets hope she gets a bit of treatment or care there.
I went in hoping for oral and FS, I left with neither, £120 lighter and carrying a huge anxiety about the girl who clearly had all sorts of issues going on. Not a great punt!
As usual, any questions guys, feel free to ask.
