Night out at Platinum Lace Strip Club

[penisilin]

Wasn't sure if this should be a review or not but decided to make it a topic.

Having done my research, I thought Platinum Lace would offer me the best experience for a rare night out when the misus was away. Happened on the oddest of week days - Wednesday. I drove down from southwest and made my way to the capital and arrived picadilly circus at around 10pm. Off-street parking was very hard to find but at last I settled for Chinatown car park at £9/hr. Luckily PL was just around the corner from the car park. Three massive security guards at the door, briefed me the rules - no touching, no rudeness, pay extra for private room etc. I already knew all that so I nodded and made my way downstairs where I paid £20 entry fee and was ushered in.

On entry, the room was full of very stunning girls and a few guys. the girls were really hot - for a moment I thought I was in one of R-Kelly's music videos. I asked the bouncer to show me the restroom - my little tactic to regulate myself before doing anything. I then made my way to the bar, was about to order when 2 busty girls (one from Essex and the other from Bristol) came around, arms on my back introduced themselves and asked if I'd like to take off my jacket, they helped me out of it and showed me the cloakroom (which was at the entrance) then I ordered a drink for each of them plus myself and we started chatting. They were really trying to get me to go to private room which I decided beforehand that I won't based on recommendations from previous posts here (thanks for that guys!). Anyway, I asked them to give me a tour around the rooms which they did - each room (not really a room but a quiet unenclosed corner) was priced at around £750 per girl for 1hr. I asked what I'd get from that, they said naked dance and lots more, always dangling their boobs in front of me to entice me. But I was never gonna fall for it - I know quite well how these places operate so I wriggled my way out of the tour and asked for a table instead. They were like why pay for a table when you can have a private dance - silly girls I thought (a room cost £750/girl whereas a table cost minimum £50 worth of drinks). I ended up at a table, where they joined me and I got them some more drinks. I watched girl after girl strip-dance even one of the girls that I sat with. We talked dirty and they tried once again to lure me into a room thinking I was drunk but hell no. So they said we'll have to love and leave you which I didn't mind to be honest.

For the rest of my time about 4 other girls (one at a time) came around to lure me but I stood firm. I saw some security guards surround a big boy as he made his way to an enclosed area, one of the girls said it was a popular celebrity but they're not allowed to disclose his identity - I suspect it was a footballer but not sure. After around 2.5 hours in there I was getting drunk so I asked for the bill and made my way. Credit to one of the bouncers for reminding me to get my credit card from the tab. On exit some guys were standing next to the door asking if I wanted to fuck? I couldn't really trust them plus I was half drunk and already arranged to see Paloma (which sadly turned out to be a Negative experience - see my review https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=358818.0) so I turned them down. I managed to get to the car park - paid £27 and drove to Marylebone, fucked Paloma (note, Paloma not from PL) then miraculously drove for 1.5hrs home without issues. Woke up the next day to find my car parked less than an inch to the wall. A week later got a fine for turning at a 'no right turn junction '. Total damage was £20(entry), £220(drinks), £150(to fuck Paloma - not from PL) and £65(fine) which is far less than £750/girl for private dance.

I'd return again just to have fun seeing naked girls dance while I'm getting drunk and this time I might patronise the guys outside to arrange a fuck.

Link: External Link/Members Only

[bigden40]

Drunk driving?  Classy.

[Liverpool]

I've got to agree.

OP, you're a right cunt if you think people are going to be impressed by your drink driving "prowess". You're a danger to yourself and everyone else doing that.

[penisilin]

I've got to agree.

OP, you're a right cunt if you think people are going to be impressed by your drink driving "prowess". You're a danger to yourself and everyone else doing that.

I hold my hand up there. Not trying to impress anyone with drunk driving I'm only narrating my experience on a night out. At least be thankful for the details I shared about PL and needless to say,  please don't emulate the drunk driving.

Come to think of it the fact that I drove home safely makes it arguable that I was drunk. I don't know who can boast of not driving after a pint or two. And by the way, when I checked the time that I violated 'no right turn' it was 22:11 when I hadn't drank yet. So it's up to anyone to decide if I was really drunk. Regardless, I had a good night without much damage to myself or anyone else

Hidden Image/Members Only

[Liverpool]

I hold my hand up there. Not trying to impress anyone with drunk driving I'm only narrating my experience on a night out. At least be thankful for the details I shared about PL and needless to say,  please don't emulate the drunk driving.

Come to think of it the fact that I drove home safely makes it arguable that I was drunk. I don't know who can boast of not driving after a pint or two. And by the way, when I checked the time that I violated 'no right turn' it was 22:11 when I hadn't drank yet. So it's up to anyone to decide if I was really drunk. Regardless, I had a good night without much damage to myself or anyone else

Hidden Image/Members Only

Well, as long as you've justified it then that's ok.

I stand by my original comment about you.

[jimbobted]

I've got to agree.

OP, you're a right cunt if you think people are going to be impressed by your drink driving "prowess". You're a danger to yourself and everyone else doing that.

+1. No excuse for drink driving, regardless if whether you felt drunk or not.
Are there no strip clubs in the south west? You could have punted a very decent girl for less than what you paid out for this little adventure. I don't get it!

[dave451]

Go by train next time. Way cheaper and safer.

[penisilin]

+1. No excuse for drink driving, regardless if whether you felt drunk or not.
Are there no strip clubs in the south west? You could have punted a very decent girl for less than what you paid out for this little adventure. I don't get it!

Agreed, could've punted a decent girl for less. Just wanted to try something different. Anyone can recommend a similar strip club in SW?

[penisilin]

Go by train next time. Way cheaper and safer.

Last train from London down here is at 23:50 when the night has just begun so no point going by train

[tp69]

Bragging about driving drunk. Wrong forum. We enjoy shagging girls, not killing other people through utter stupidity. Grow up.

[myothernameis]

.
After around 2.5 hours in there I was getting drunk so I asked for the bill and made my way.

I managed to get to the car park, then miraculously drove for 1.5hrs home without issues.

Your a danger to other motorists, and by all accounts, I think it wont have been the first time, you have driven your car, while drunk

[Iloveoral]

This post was reported, I don’t think there’s anything more I can add here the guys have said it all, you won’t get a pat on the back drink driving on this site.

[sensualencounter]

OP you’re a complete wanker. And your attempts at justification (well I got home without crashing or killing anyone so I probably wasn’t drunk) is pathetic.

Not only that but what was the point of the post? You went to a strip club and didn’t even have a dance. That’s it. Totally pointless thread.

[Fuzzyduck]

OP you’re a complete wanker. And your attempts at justification (well I got home without crashing or killing anyone so I probably wasn’t drunk) is pathetic.

Not only that but what was the point of the post? You went to a strip club and didn’t even have a dance. That’s it. Totally pointless thread.

+1

[Heph]

A sound overview of the venue, marred, as everyone notes by the DUI: I thought I was in a small minority of those who really detest people that do this, cockily putting others' lives in jeopardy... but evidently not, which is encouraging.

[penisilin]

All those giving me sticks should ask yourselves if none of you have ever driven after a pint or two and the answer is not many - the rest of you are hippocrates. Save your anger for barebackers and those who abuse SP's, those are the ones putting others lives at risk plus pretenders like yourselves (wolves in sheep's clothing). I didn't do the right thing by driving after a drink but at least I wasn't drunk as I clearly drove from PL to a punt before going home (perhaps I blame myself for saying I was half drunk). I don't drink to stupour like those casting me do - so, like I said above go and bark at barebackers, B&S Pimps etc.

[penisilin]

OP you’re a complete wanker. And your attempts at justification (well I got home without crashing or killing anyone so I probably wasn’t drunk) is pathetic.

Not only that but what was the point of the post? You went to a strip club and didn’t even have a dance. That’s it. Totally pointless thread.

You're the mother-f****n wanker!!! If you've danced in a strip club where's the review/post? All you do is attack those who contribute here. We won't miss you after this..... Now, get the f*** outta this thread.

[Liverpool]

All those giving me sticks should ask yourselves if none of you have ever driven after a pint or two and the answer is not many - the rest of you are hippocrates. Save your anger for barebackers and those who abuse SP's, those are the ones putting others lives at risk plus pretenders like yourselves (wolves in sheep's clothing). I didn't do the right thing by driving after a drink but at least I wasn't drunk as I clearly drove from PL to a punt before going home (perhaps I blame myself for saying I was half drunk). I don't drink to stupour like those casting me do - so, like I said above go and bark at barebackers, B&S Pimps etc.

Are you a retard?

Unless you had a breath test administered at a Police station you have no way of knowing if you were legally allowed to drive, having spent £220 on drinks I doubt you were.
Trying to justify your behaviour is the sign of a delusional CUNT with a drink problem and absolutely fine with putting other people's lives at risk. Suggest you re-read your original post, especially how close you came to pranging your car when you parked it. Not the sign of someone in charge of their full faculties.
Just because you had sex doesn't mean anything.

I have driven for nearly 30 years and can honestly say I have never drunk alcohol and then got behind the wheel of a car.

Barebackers etc, will get their time. However, drink driving and the delusional justification you are using shows what a contemptible person you are and that you have no respect for other people's welfare when you get behind the wheel of a car.

[penisilin]

Are you a retard?

Unless you had a breath test administered at a Police station you have no way of knowing if you were legally allowed to drive, having spent £220 on drinks I doubt you were.
Trying to justify your behaviour is the sign of a delusional CUNT with a drink problem and absolutely fine with putting other people's lives at risk. Suggest you re-read your original post, especially how close you came to pranging your car when you parked it. Not the sign of someone in charge of their full faculties.
Just because you had sex doesn't mean anything.

I have driven for nearly 30 years and can honestly say I have never drunk alcohol and then got behind the wheel of a car.

Barebackers etc, will get their time. However, drink driving and the delusional justification you are using shows what a contemptible person you are and that you have no respect for other people's welfare when you get behind the wheel of a car.

The fact you've driven for almost 30yrs without ever drinking and driving deserves some respect. Please measure your tone else you lose it all. I know people that have bashed their cars without drinking so...... you know where I'm heading with this I guess. Anyway, no point discussing further. I already accepted it was wrong to drive after drinking so let's bury the hatchet. Looking at your posts/reviews you're someone that I would respect
and I won't want to have reason to disrespect you. I
got away with murder, woohoo and i won't repeat the mistake.

[myothernameis]

A week later got a fine for turning at a 'no right turn junction

All those giving me sticks should ask yourselves if none of you have ever driven after a pint or two and the answer is not many -

As a cyclist, I have seen the outcome, where disobey the traffic signs, and a cyclist was badly injured

SIMPLE DONT DRINK & DRIVE

[daviemac]

You're the mother-f****n wanker!!! If you've danced in a strip club where's the review/post? All you do is attack those who contribute here. We won't miss you after this..... Now, get the f*** outta this thread.

Are you for real you fucking wanker, just to keep it on the topic of this site strip club dances can't be reviewed.

To talk about your OP, morons like you who think because you were lucky and got home without killing some innocent person are the reason there's so many drink related deaths on the roads.

Actually drink driving is bad enough but to then come on a forum and brag about it beggars belief, did you really expect a pat on the back and a 'well done' for it.

[penisilin]

Are you for real you fucking wanker, just to keep it on the topic of this site strip club dances can't be reviewed.

To talk about your OP, morons like you who think because you were lucky and got home without killing some innocent person are the reason there's so many drink related deaths on the roads.

Actually drink driving is bad enough but to then come on a forum and brag about it beggars belief, did you really expect a pat on the back and a 'well done' for it.

What's the point? After showing some remorse you still come out with all guns blazing. In this site people like me keep it real and narate the plain truth be it right or wrong. If you have a problem with that, then put your dick in the frying pan add some onions and peppers and have yourself a hot dog to loosen that stiff head of yours. Yes, I drank and drove, I'm not proud of it but I decided to narrate my story. Don't need no pat on the back and I've been flogged enough so no point seeking cheap popularity by adding your pointless comment you block head.

Come to think of it, 2 rounds of drinks worth £220 for me and two girls at strip club prices is not really the amount of drink that gets one drunk except the likes of you - light headed moron. And in case you don't know, drink driving as long as you're below the limit is not illegal (though not ideal) so  live with it or go to parliament and change the law .

[tp69]

After around 2.5 hours in there I was getting drunk

I couldn't really trust them plus I was half drunk

then miraculously drove for 1.5hrs home

Woke up the next day to find my car parked less than an inch to the wall

while I'm getting drunk

You could've apologised and moved on. Instead you're being abusive to members and mods, and continually backtracking on what you wrote above. Perhaps read it again and try some humility. Geez.

We're adults. Many of us have children. Of course we were never going to be impressed.

[penisilin]

You could've apologised and moved on. Instead you're being abusive to members and mods, and continually backtracking on what you wrote above. Perhaps read it again and try some humility. Geez.

We're adults. Many of us have children. Of course we were never going to be impressed.

OP, you're right, perhaps I've been a bit too abusive especially to the rude ones.

Like I said earlier it's my fault for saying I was half drunk. I wrote the post to narrate my strip club experience not to brag or to draw attention to the fact I drove after drinking. All the polite ones I've offended my apologies.

[daviemac]

What's the point? After showing some remorse you still come out with all guns blazing. In this site people like me keep it real and narate the plain truth be it right or wrong. If you have a problem with that, then put your dick in the frying pan add some onions and peppers and have yourself a hot dog to loosen that stiff head of yours. Yes, I drank and drove, I'm not proud of it but I decided to narrate my story. Don't need no pat on the back and I've been flogged enough so no point seeking cheap popularity by adding your pointless comment you block head.

Come to think of it, 2 rounds of drinks worth £220 for me and two girls at strip club prices is not really the amount of drink that gets one drunk except the likes of you - light headed moron. And in case you don't know, drink driving as long as you're below the limit is not illegal (though not ideal) so  live with it or go to parliament and change the law .

The point is you haven't shown remorse, every one of your posts have included some insult as well as trying to justify what you have done.

As indicated above this thread has been reported several times mainly questioning if you are the sort we want on here and after reading your posts I tend to agree.

As tp69 said you could have accepted the criticism and apologised without the abuse but chose not to.

[webpunter]

I was thinking about ordering Deliveroo popcorn however this isn't going to take very long

@penis you wrote:
"All those giving me sticks should ask yourselves if none of you have ever driven after a pint or two and the answer is not many - the rest of you are hippocrates"

As long as you dont neck two pints of Nelson, spread the two [weaker] pints out over a couple of hours ideally with some food whats the problem

Can tell you are a bell end driving into central london irrespective of drinking / not, do hope you get a congestion charge fine

"Seeking cheap popularity / block head & light headed moron"  ummmm

You do know how to win friends & influence people dont you !

Just like the way you are a skilled operator in the lappy bar

A legend, in your own imagination

What happens if someone or a few people who've had a few drinks [getting the tube / train / taxi home] inadvertently step off the pavement ?

Do you think your reaction times wont be affected, most likely you'll still be thinking bout being the big-shot in the club & in close proximity to a celeb

Are we supposed to be impressed you navigating your way home ?

There's gonna be a few driver changes over the winter in F1, you should put yourself forward

Lewis George Lando & the others are gonna be trembing

Do us all a favour & off you fuck, permanently

What's the point? After showing some remorse you still come out with all guns blazing. In this site people like me keep it real and narate the plain truth be it right or wrong. If you have a problem with that, then put your dick in the frying pan add some onions and peppers and have yourself a hot dog to loosen that stiff head of yours. Yes, I drank and drove, I'm not proud of it but I decided to narrate my story. Don't need no pat on the back and I've been flogged enough so no point seeking cheap popularity by adding your pointless comment you block head.

Come to think of it, 2 rounds of drinks worth £220 for me and two girls at strip club prices is not really the amount of drink that gets one drunk except the likes of you - light headed moron. And in case you don't know, drink driving as long as you're below the limit is not illegal (though not ideal) so  live with it or go to parliament and change the law .

[webpunter]

'Defiantly' not
I know someone who had a family member killed where one of the causal factors was alcohol
The fall out lasts forever !
A trip to the cemetary each year 30+ years later only scratches the surface
You [edit: @penis] are a 1st class cunt
And an ignorant one too, no crawling to UKP now
You had responses from various UKP'ers & the opportunity presented to you to think about it & missed this, by a country mile
OYF

The point is you haven't shown remorse, every one of your posts have included some insult as well as trying to justify what you have done.

As indicated above this thread has been reported several times mainly questioning if you are the sort we want on here and after reading your posts I tend to agree.

As tp69 said you could have accepted the criticism and apologised without the abuse but chose not to.

[BillT]

Are you for real you fucking wanker, just to keep it on the topic of this site strip club dances can't be reviewed.

To talk about your OP, morons like you who think because you were lucky and got home without killing some innocent person are the reason there's so many drink related deaths on the roads.

Actually drink driving is bad enough but to then come on a forum and brag about it beggars belief, did you really expect a pat on the back and a 'well done' for it.

Surely the OPs behaviour and posting style is worthy of a ban?

[90125]

Time to cool it now ……. better for everyone to spend their time posting Reviews.

[JackSaint]

£750, plus drinks for an hour of tease in a curtained off area, that's outrageous! I went there years ago, sure it wasn't that expensive then, although I foolishly left my card behind the bar and got a shock at bill time. Had an absolute cracker coming on like a steam train, a few dances, drinking time, gave me her number, I was convinced she fancied me (the booze thinking for me), lots of flirty texts, arranged to take her away for a night in Brighton, she was delighted, then on the day, the bombshell that my arrogance and stupidity didn't expect, she mentioned her two grand fee! Moral of the story, don't go to strip clubs expecting anything other than getting ripped off.

[Marmalade]

In this site people like me keep it real  ...

Outpourings of gratitude surely due... if only someone could please indicate the reality post to which the esteemed pisspot pointeth..? 

And here's the tasty Masterchef recipe of the week...!!

...put your dick in the frying pan add some onions and peppers and have yourself a hot dog to loosen that stiff head of yours. ...

medicinal properties no doubt

you - light headed moron.

So I wonder if that was the alcohol talking as he slagged off a mod? 

...And in case you don't know, drink driving as long as you're below the limit is not illegal...

... last words of the drunkard staggering in front of the oncoming headlights no doubt... but maybe we should wait till the temp ban has worked, a 'penicilin', before we pass the popcorn and see if he's rearranged his head a bit!   

[Marmalade]

Shit! just noticed Head1's memo. 

cool cool 

[mr.bluesky]

Penisilin obviously has more money than sense, (LOMBARD is the correct term I believe) hopefully next time the idiot gets behind the wheel of his car half pissed he will get caught and banned.
and for anyone who isn't aware of the term
Loads Of Money But A Right Dickhead

[markballoon]

The funny thing is with his posts are as i'm reading them I can hear a slurred voice in my head saying these words.   We all know what type of person he is from the posts.  But at least we don't have to shag him 

[webpunter]

@penis will have had time to reconsider things on his one week ban on here, which is coming to a close
A ban of 52 weeks [or more] could be round the corner for him