Thanks ZS. This is the exact point i'm raising and don't understand in one way LLPunting thinks this is 'period shaming' - that point is delusional. Like any sane person I'd simply rather not have to deal with blood on my dick without warning when the person was fully aware they were on their period; especially when there's a higher risk of transmission that way.
OK, setting some baselines:
- All of us would be outraged if an SP engaged in risky contact knowing she was infected.
- Hopefully none of us would engage in sex with anyone if we suspected we were infectious.
Now:
- For any one meeting neither SS or SP can be certain they are infection free unless they had abstained from any risky contact 2 or more weeks before going for full-spectrum STI tests which subsequently gave them a clean bill of health and they had continued to abstain whilst waiting for the results up until meeting for a punt. This pretty much means neither would have had sex for several weeks. Unreasonable.
- If either SS or SP were already hosting any episodic infection e.g. Herpes then they'd have to be certain of not being in an infectious phase at the time of contact. Perhaps they'd confess their status to give their partner informed consent?

- If either SS or SP were not certain of being infection free and yet risk averse (and considerate of others) but still wanting to have sex or earn money then what options do they have as individuals and/or as a couple who communicate their concerns? Full oral and genital protection? Abstinence from or denial of certain services on what basis and to what degree? And if worried about skin contact transmission of herpes, warts etc then what would be the protocol?
Engaging in sex with strangers (not just sex workers) is certainly not a risk free pursuit and each participant can only be expected to be responsible for the risks they take based on the unknowns they have about their sex partner and in full cogniscence of their own personal risk profile.
- Why do you assume that everyone must have at least the same aversion to risk as you have?
- Or the same presumption of likelihood of someone being infectious?
Look at the numerous debates already had on this site about infection risk and the use of protection or why people don't kiss or RO (regardless of the SP's cycle) or whatever. Look at the thread about period play.
You are attempting to lay the blame for recklessness solely on the SP yet:
- You did not inform her of your aversion to periods before booking or engaging with her.
- You did not ask her if she thought she might at all be an infection risk because of intended or accidental risky contact since she was last "certain" to be infection free.
- You presume that you were infection free, not just symptom free and not infectious. When were you last confirmed infection free prior to the encounter and had you refrained from any risky contact since that test was performed?
- If you were certain of your sexual health status how did you go about notifying and reassuring her of it? Assuming you were equally concerned for her health as your own.
- You engaged in unprotected RO without noticing anything untoward. Given your aversion, how carefully did you inspect her before diving in?
- You had rough enough sex with her that you thought you might be the cause of her bleeding. Great that you apologised after the fact. Did you ask if you could be rough before the fact?
- For all your concern for personal infection risk you were not aware of the fruitlessness of going to the GUM on the same day for your own reassurance. It would have only served to establish your status for the encounter and thereby enable you to advise the SP whether she was at risk from you. Did you get a full STI screen on your mouth? Did you tell her the result?
From the SP's perspective, if she believed she wasn't infected (for good reason or not) then why wouldn't she work and provide services in the moment that ensures she makes money by satisfying a customer, subject to her guarding her own health to her satisfaction and service limits?
If she is acting in good faith (motive irrelevant) and supplying what she thinks to be a "safe" service then the acceptance of risk and the only one to blame for taking it is with the punter. Even if she weren't acting in good faith then a concerned punter would safeguard themselves appropriately.
This isn't about scoring debate points this is about challenging your rationale, your understandable concern for your own sexual health but your inconsistent concern for hers and the distribution of responsibility in having sex with a stranger.