If anyone is thinking of going to see Kelly Bazooka; don’t.
Comms: v quick to respond. Agreed an hour. She tried to charge me £200. Her Viva Street add says £180. She grudgingly agreed £180.
Accommodation: a smart gated estate in Fulham. Flat was tidy.
The girl: she JUST about looks like the girl in the BP photos, but she’s a chunky hairy bloke in a wig. The girl in the photos is slim; this girl is well built and not in a sexy way. I should have walked. She had promised DFK. I got the tiresome turned cheek and a “no babeee”. Bizarrely, she kept her blouse on. When I asked her to take it off she said no, because she hadn’t shaved her chest!
She shares the flat with Aleyssa Karlz:
External Link/Members OnlyShe tried to upsell me a threesome. I declined. I wish I had called Aleyssa in the first place. In any event, I was there and thought what the heck.
We 69d. She wore a cock ring which is always a sign of somebody who has difficulty with erections. She got semi hard but no further. She said she was versatile on the phone. She never got even close to topping me. She gives a very toothy blow job, accompanied by a vigorous handjob. I really wasn’t feeling it. She made terrible fake groans throughout.
She sat on my dick and despite a 20mg blue bill and every dirty thought I could muster, I couldn’t get inside her. Doggies wasn’t much better.
In the end she sucked and wanked me to completion.
This was not my finest hour. No chemistry. No sex appeal. No DFK. No topping me. Hairy chest. The list goes on. I left after 30 mins feeling dreadful instead of the usual high I get when I’ve had a great punt.
She’s here for 10 days more before going back to Switzerland. A truly awful punt.
