Now working here: External Link/Members Only

and also here: External Link/Members Only

It really pains me to give Penny a negative review because I liked her a great deal and in many ways she is close to my ideal service provider. Trust me, I want to giver her an A+. But, to get the elephant out of the room first, she simply does not offer any of the advertised services. In fact, she barely offers any services at all (or, if she now does, she has either changed her menu or chose not to offer them to me).

I was shocked as I asked about a number of things on her advertised list that I thought we might engage in and she pretty much said an immediate "no" to every last one of them except covered (as expected) sex. As she said "no", I deliberately inquired about things I wasn't even interested in just to surmise what she did do. No kissing; no A-levels; no WS; etc. The list went on. To be clear, I would be absolutely thrilled if I now have it wrong and this is no longer the case and I would re-visit her in a heartbeat if she genuinely provides the services claimed but I can only report what I experienced and on that basis, I can do nothing but give her a negative.

Otherwise and with that aside, Massage Northampton is a long-standing parlour on the Kettering Road (which is busy but usually park-able) now under new ownership. It's less fussy than Soft-Touch; you're there for sex; the faux massage bit is dispensed with.  Annabellas, Penny's other location, is a good quality parlour in CMK, also in a busy area but usually park-able. Given that the latter (Annabella's) is cleaner, nicer and less threadbare generally, if geography makes no difference I would go to the latter rather than the former.

With regard to Penny, she IS the girl in the photos. She is not a natural redhead (I think her natural colour is probably brown/auburn) but the stylist has done a good job and it's not an exaggerated, silly redhead look if you know what I mean. As she is fully shaven, natural colour can't be 100% confirmed :-) She is also genuinely pretty; nice body, everything in proportion; small-ish boobs but very attractive and a shapely handful and a nice face/smile. When she first came into the room, I was delighted. And she's English.

Penny is not only pretty; she is also interesting.  She is well-spoken, eloquent, well-travelled, a good conversationalist, and has life experience. You could take her out to dinner and, I suspect, not be bored with her company for hours. She is sharp, funny, and engaging. In fact, she's engaging enough that I suspect she'll catch a few regulars despite the paucity of her service offering. Chatting away with her is easy and enjoyable.

BUT...the sex is not. In fact, it hovers somewhere between boring and grim. After a period of top class non-physical interaction, the sexual side is very much "put on the condom" (preferably at arms length), "insert it into my vagina" (preferably without otherwise touching me), "move it around until you orgasm" (I'll have my eyes shut and be thinking of England) and "when you're done, we'll get back to having some good, companionable fun". The fact that she's otherwise such a great girl makes throws the poverty of her service into even greater relief.

So, a real pity. A potential star who, simply, chooses not to deliver. I'm afraid that what she is prepared to offer is not what I want and, I fear, not what the market will respond to either. A great girl who is simply not in the right job because she doesn't want to meet the job description. I left a bit gutted because I liked her enough that I really wanted to find a reason to convince myself that I'd had fun and should go back. But it's not been possible. Any less of a girl than Penny and, if I'm honest, this review would really have slammed her. As it is, it's a disappointed "save your cash."

If someone can report a different, better experience with Penny no one would be more pleased than me.  If anyone feels like taking one for the team on that basis, good luck!

It sounds like Penny's offering a novicey newbie experience at the moment.

Some girls can, some girls can learn, some girls just can't...hopefully she's the middle one and will relax and improve with experience!!

Unfortunately not the case. She has worked before in Australia where I understand service expectations are far, far more limited and what would be considered a very inadequate offering over here is considered par for the course over there. My impression was not of a lack of experience or naivety; quite the contrary. She was very in control and doing only and exactly what she wanted to do. Unfortunately for us!

Aussie brothels are really only for dump and run shags. Similar to a walk up.

I paid Penny a visit on her first day in Milton Keynes and had a similar experience to Nimrod, although I was sufficiently satisfied at the end of my hour with her to give the punt a Neutral rating.

She is indeed a very attractive young lady with a lovely lithe figure and when I discovered that Penny was public school educated it made me hopeful that her GFE would be as sensational as some of the other posh bits of young totty who have escorted in MK in recent years: KittyofLondon, MissyBanks, Trinity and Alexandra (the Egyptian 18yo who was there in the spring of 2012).

Whilst she would be as delightful a dinner date as any of those ladies, Penny did not prove to be nearly so enthusiastic for the carnal side of things: FK being on the lips only, the OWO was perfunctory, A-levels were off the menu and even though she kept on demanding sex it felt like she was just going through the motions.

Perhaps she is jaded by her experience of escorting in Australia (if it was as bad as Fred says) and Penny might turn into a star escort once she's got a bit more experience of the UK scene under her belt... fingers crossed!

But still on the rota in MK. Oh well, Northampton's loss is...MK's loss.  With two reviews here echoing each other, I think this one can be put to bed (to coin a phrase).