External Link/Members OnlyFancied trying out an “alt” girl as an experiment ,looked to Lush to provide at an affordable price.Already reviewed by Punter S T - thanks for your TOFTT
,even if my punt turned out to be utter pants…..
Comms : Area : Price- Usual rigmarole - ring the Lush Fat Controller (sorry,Tomasz)
,cross fingers that you’re not at the back of the long ”Bargain Hunt” queue,arrange,ring when you’re about to land.Flat number given out.
- Broadway Plaza . Basic room.Not the freshest smelling.They’ve re-orientated the bed position,hard to see action in the wardrobe mirrors.Shower ok.
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£60 H/H Face:Alt/Gothy look. Would make a good Elvira/Morticia actress.Get her on yer books,Equity
Big face.Lots of eye makeup.Sharp features.Light blue eyes.Reasonably attractive IMO
Long blonde + dark hair 2 shade combo
Metal on face.Stud + ring piercings on cheeks/lips/nose.If you want lengthy DT,make sure you have a giant,strong magnet strapped to your crotch.
Stats + Body: Mid-late 30s : AmazXXian 6-footer (poss. even taller?): size 12 : fairly firm body
34B/C (?) nat jugs : medium nips/areolae
Big,wide,firmish ass
Needless to say- long legs.Decent tone.
Shaven ,tidy gash + neat bumhole
Extensively tatted top half : basically got a massive “bib” spanning her upper chest , + large red rose + skull
on neck + shoulder
Personality:Friendly + chatty. A bit ditzy + chavvy
.Couldn’t pin her accent,didn’t sound local/W.Mids.Occasionally lapsed into urban/gangsta/roadman jive during convo
- “fam” + ”innit” in her Queens’ lexicon..
The MeetDivested my long-suffering wallet of 60 Queens,showered + came out - now 5 mins into the punt.Already on her phone.
Hmmmm.No sooner had she put it down than it rang again.Answered.And rang again after!
Significant convo for each answer,gathered it was the agency + BF from my eavesdropping ,eroding
MY paid- for time.Now at least 10-12 mins into sesh.
To her credit,apologised for the delay-fine,but you’re taking the piss a bit ,luv.Am I going to have the lost time bolted on at the end? Don’t think so.I was starting to simmer inside but, being the docile creature I am,said nowt.
Eventually got down to some action,if you could call it that.Chowed down on my fella (OWO) in an attempt to get him interested,but the Erection Traffic Police had laid out a stinger for this hard on.Some lengthy stroking on my part got him hard,and she started sucking.Tried lying + standing positions ,but couldn’t really get seriously excited,with all the prior shenanigans.Her blowie technique was unremarkable + toothy
.Like she was packing a mini chainsaw or similar in her mush.Few mins into this,again, (surprise,surprise) a series of incoming phone calls that she answered
- BF + Punter this time. BF understandable/mildly irritating,BUT A PUNTER ? WTF ? Thought they were meant to enquire exclusively through Lush….
My initial mildly sour seeds of doubt when I first came out of the shower rapidly grew into big trees bearing many bitter fruits of regret at taking this punt.Was now so angry inside (but with a calm demeanour outside) that I just wanted to splosh my balls + leave.BTW,she never volunteered to have sex.Got her to sit on my thighs + twerk her ass in the RCG position for some visual stimulation while I jacked.Got a nice,big firm ass and tidy bits between her cheeks.Then,me standing up with her face directly below my dangling nuts while I whacked off.Eventually plopped my juice into her gaping mouth in this position while she scratched my asshole with her fingernails.
Dressed,some chit-chat ,left.Incandescent with anger + hugely disappointed
.Estimated 8-10 mins max of sexual action
.Estimated that she answered her phone 8-10 times during the punt
. .Know it’s only £60 ,but this is NOT ON.A punt that bumped along the bottom of the shite barrel.
SummaryDon’t like flaming an escort,but can’t beachcomb many good points from this punt wreckage,save that she appeared to be a nice enough girl,was reasonably attractive, + had a decent body.However,seemed oblivious that she was using my time for her shenanigans.The negatives-well,they’re leaping out of this webpage at you.Of course,I could’ve caught her on the worst of her bad days,or we didn’t “click” and she decided she CBA,but won’t return to see her.Would rather have multiple painful bites from a Black Widow spider in my bell end.Ouch. 
If you try her out,good luck,hope you have a better one than I did.
LM P.S. If I get into your bad books ‘cos of this,Lush,TOUGH - will say it as it is.
