£90 for 1 hour Incall in north WiltshireCommunication:
by email, text and several voice calls. Disorganised, but friendly and adequate.
BUT on the day of the punt, when I called to check we were still on, she wanted to move the start time back by half an hour. This was annoying and disconcerting: it suggested that either she was going to flake out on me altogether or I'd bump into the previous punter on his way out. In fact, it turned out that Suze was just lazy and wanted a longer lie-in.Location:
house in a small, modern estate in a north Wiltshire village, easy to find and with free on-street parking
Inside, the house was untidy, but disorganised rather than dirty. It felt safe. There was a lit joss-stick in the bathroom and most of the place smelt of that, which didn't bother me. The room was warm and fairly light, and the very large mirror opposite the bed was a Good Thing.Discretion:
Suze was discreet (good) to the point of paranoia (less good). She was terrified her neighbours would find out what she does, so she insisted that I perform a certain amount of visual and vocal misdirection before even getting to the front door. I did as she asked, even though it was faintly ludicrous.Appearance:
Suze's only AW profile pic (at the time of writing) shows her ample cleavage as viewed from directly above. In a curious way, I found this to be an accurate representation of Suze, because that's almost all I remember of her. I spent almost all my time with her staring at that massive and gorgeous pair of tits, to the exclusion of almost anything else. Suze's FF naturals are much bigger even than the picture suggests. They're SO big and SO attractive that it's really difficult to look at anything else.
On the rare occasions when I did drag my gaze away from those amazing tits, I saw that Suze is a dumpy woman well along the path from overweight to obese. Her face is unfortunately reminiscent of Les Dawson. On the plus side, her skin is in quite good condition and her ass and legs aren't bad at all - if you like plenty of flesh.
Suze was clean. There was a faint smell of sweat, but it was a warm day and anyway I actually found it quite exciting.Personality:
Suze was friendly and welcoming (despite the "discretion" role-play insistence). Native English speaker, so no language problems, although Suze isn't wit personified.Services:
oral (covered), hand relief, massage, penetration (protected)
Suze was keen to start with a massage. I wasn't. There was a brief moment of awkwardness, but I won and she gave way gracefully - so I should fucking well think, when I'm the one paying ninety pounds per hour, for fuck's sake. We postponed the massage and instead I spent a fair bit of time admiring, touching, kissing and sticking my head between those fabulous tits.
Then I asked Suze to give me a lubed handjob until I came, preferably as soon as possible. This was early in the punt and for various reasons, I knew I'd recover quickly and would easily come again during round two. But there was more dissent from Suze, who said something about lots of men being over-ambitious. Like I give a damn about other men, when I'm the one in the room and she's there to please me, not argue. Again, I got my way (see previous comment about who the fuck is paying for this).
Suze's hand technique was poor: too fast, too dry and she kept rubbing the wrong bit. It improved markedly when I told her how to do it better. And then, quite out of the blue, Suze started talking dirty - and she was really good at it. It took me entirely by surprise and was an excellent stimulant, really adding to my enjoyment. In the past, I've found all that "I want your big hard cock to spurt" rubbish to be an embarrassing turn-off. Thanks to Suze, I now realise that when it's done well, it can be big turn-on. It was actually what tipped me over the edge when I came.
Suze cleaned me up a bit too thoroughly, then lay down while I spent some more time playing with her body (okay, mainly her tits), which I enjoyed and she claimed to find pleasant. After a while, though, it occurred to me that I was doing far too much of the work, so I asked her to give me the massage we'd skipped and which she'd been so keen to deliver. Her profile mentions her enjoyment of, accomplishments at, and even qualifications in, massage. This is very misleading. Basically, she was wholly incompetent. She gave me easily the worst massage I've ever had, from anyone: it consisted of putting a small amount of talc on my back and then using one hand at a time to prod me, a bit.
After a couple of minutes, it became clear that yes, she really was that bad at massage, so I stopped her and resumed admiring her tits. After a bit, I went to go down on her, but she said she didn't want me to. No? Well, not a problem really, as I was only offering for form's sake. What I really wanted was to get a condom on and get some shagging done.
"I've only got one condom." What? Not that old line! Ah, fuck it, too far into the punt for anything to be gained by more arguing. Besides, something told me one would be enough. Spoiler alert: it was.
Suze started to give me covered oral (her idea, not mine), but it was immediately and worryingly toothy, even through a layer of latex, so I stopped her. I suggested doggy instead. Oh-oh: Suze's naturally conservative and argumentative nature kicked in again. "I normally build up to doggy." "I like the man on top and me playing with myself." "My favourite position is..." Do you? Do you? Is it? Fascinating. Now STFU and do what you're told.
In fact, she made such a fuss that we compromised (yes, I know; but had I insisted any more forcefully, I would have strayed uncomfortably close to feeling that I was forcing her to do something she didn't want to do) on mish and it was quite good - well, what I mean is, the view in the mirror was good. I indulged in some narcissistic posing a la American Psycho, because that mirror made even me look great, naked and thrusting into Suze's ample body. I need to get a mirror like that. Meanwhile, Suze started with the dirty talk again, and again she did it very well. But then she interrupted herself because she wanted to know when I was going to come, so that she could come at the same time. The thing was, I didn't want to come yet. First, I wanted to take her from behind, because that's one of my must-haves when punting with a fat WG. Despite ongoing misgivings from Suze, we changed positions.
It didn't work. I can't prove it, but I strongly suspect that the reason it didn't work was that Suze was being deliberately awkward. "You're too high", "you're too low", "push properly", ... push properly? Eh?
Ah, sod this. Off with the condom and on with the lube so she could finish me with another handjob, now that she knew what to do. I was thoroughly up for it, in both senses. But of course she'd already forgotten most of what she was told not much more than half an hour ago, and despite my reminding her, her technique just wasn't up to the job of facilitating The Second Coming. Her arms got tired every time I got close, because she was substituting speed for position and control, in the classic rubbish WG HJ technique way.
I called time on it when I decided that she was running a real risk of repetitive strain injury. I'd had about enough of the punt anyway. Surprisingly, Suze seemed to want to continue: but doing what? We were out of condoms (hah), she was out of arm strength and I wasn't really interested any more. Then I remembered the small pink vibrator she'd positioned on the bed at the start of the punt and which I'd deliberately ignored until now. I asked her to use it on herself while I watched, mainly because I'd never done that with a woman before. Suze duly masturbated with the vibe, switching after a few minutes to her fingers. Quite possibly she really came, since fake orgasms tend to be louder and more ostentatious. As it turned out, voyeurism didn't do much for me; but it's another bucket-list item checked.During the session:
No interruptions - indeed, no mobile.
I got her full attention throughout.After we finished:
Not much post-punt chat, although the atmosphere was still friendly. She gave me a nervous smile and an extremely reluctant peck on the cheek (she doesn't do kissing - !), then a lot more instructions on how, immediately on departure from the front door, I had to resume the discretion-related role-play from my arrival. These orders were so detailed that I think Suze's neighbours must be movie continuity editors as well as nosy parkers.Summary:
Pros: fabulous tits! Also safe; friendly; easy parking; no chargeable extras; good skin; great dirty talk; no clock-watching; no time-wasting; no distractions
Cons: wanted to change the start time of a pre-booked session just before I left to get there; "only one condom"; intermittently uncooperative; not good-looking; conversationally hard work; poor techniqueWould recommend to others?
Only if you're desperate to have a go on a delightful pair of really, really big tits.Would I see her again?