Smalltalk

[the_patient_wolf]

What's the point? And what to say?

Fucking stupid things I have said include:

"Are you busy?". I don't give a shit. And don't care. Or want to know.

"How old do you think I am?" I have said this after I have performed particularly well. Why do I care how old she thinks I am?  I really am a fuckwit sometimes.

What are the other stupid and pointless things we say?

[geostorm1]

Oh god the smalltalk. It is worse when they aren't very chatty at all and awkward silence.

"So do you do any other job outside of this?" - such a pointless question, she isn't going to tell me where she works, and even worse when they say "no, just this."

"Thank you"  Just came on her face and then I'm saying thank you????!!!!

"Thanks for seeing me" - not a bad thing to say, but wait until you're dressed at least.

"Have you got much else on today" - i.e. are you fucking any other strangers today or am I the last one???

When I want to fill a void, I'll usually just compliment their house.

[the_patient_wolf]

"So do you do any other job outside of this?" - such a pointless question, she isn't going to tell me where she works, and even worse when they say "no, just this."

"Have you got much else on today" - i.e. are you fucking any other strangers today or am I the last one???

Yep. Two old favourites.

[Blackpool Rock]

Strange really as I fuck whores so that I don't have to do constant small talk with an OH   

[patdavies]

I like a little chit chat helps relax me nothing worse than both giving each other then death stare but then thats me.

[punter6199]

I think small talk is very important in a punt especially if the girl fully understands English. If you're seeing a girl who is not great at English then I think it doesn't really matter. Small talk for me is important because it shows the girl she can relax and be comfortable around me you have to remember you are a stranger and she will have her guard up. So by small talking she will give a better service and I do think she will let me get away with stuff that she doesn't normally do. I have seen girls who don't offer fingering but by having small talk with them and trying to make them laugh they sometimes will let me slip a finger in their. Once you become a regular for a girl your always going to get a good time as long as you have some kind of talking relationship whenever you meet.

[PunterNumber69]

I get nervous on bookings especially with new people, so a bit of chat helps to break the ice.

[the_patient_wolf]

So by small talking... I do think she will let me get away with stuff that she doesn't normally do.

I am not sure the above is good advice or even legal.

Nevertheless, I do agree with you that smalltalk makes us all feel more relaxed and is a good thing for a punt. My question is really about what to say and the stupid and clumsy things we do say when we get it wrong.

[Punterperson1971]

I think small talk is very important in a punt especially if the girl fully understands English. If you're seeing a girl who is not great at English then I think it doesn't really matter. Small talk for me is important because it shows the girl she can relax and be comfortable around me you have to remember you are a stranger and she will have her guard up. So by small talking she will give a better service and I do think she will let me get away with stuff that she doesn't normally do. I have seen girls who don't offer fingering but by having small talk with them and trying to make them laugh they sometimes will let me slip a finger in their. Once you become a regular for a girl your always going to get a good time as long as you have some kind of talking relationship whenever you meet.

This is right to a certain extent I have small chat with regulars and I do think it makes them relaxed more when you can have a conversation with them before or after the punt.

[Joball87]

I sometimes saw crap things too like "busy today?" as i can be nervous in first few mins. Or once when one of my regs was a bit clammy and had some bruised arms "did the earlier guy give you a decent rough session?" For me i've learnt to relax more and don't come out with quite so much crap anymore.

[Punterperson1971]

I think the good ones know if they provide an excellent service and are friendly there’s more chance of a punter coming back,I know I would if they make the effort too.

[Atrueyorkie]

I admit have said some dumb stuff in the past like, “busy day, did you have a lot of people”

In which she replied she’d lost count, I fainted internally because of that response. I don’t do it anymore cos we both know why we’re here so I just crack on after the funds are exchanged. Small talk is good but there’s a time to just cut it out and crack on, gotta know the limit. Interesting how much random information about other punters you’ll get from small talk, which is why I try and keep to a bare minimum what I divulge.

[Lou2019]

The one I get constantly is does your partner/husband/significant other know you do this ?
 

[the_patient_wolf]

The one I get constantly is does your partner/husband/significant other know you do this ?
 

Sadly I have been that guy. I have no idea why I sometimes say it. Maybe I am nervous? or just a bit thick?

[Blackpool Rock]

Sadly I have been that guy. I have no idea why I sometimes say it. Maybe I am nervous? or just a bit thick?

I know my earlier comment was a bit jokey but yes I do engage in a bit of small talk as already said it can help as an ice breaker and put the girl at ease which can then lead to a better punt if she can see you are a decent bloke etc.

Regarding the "Does your OH know" it's come up many times during small talk but I can't honestly say whether i've asked or how the question arose but it's amazing the variety of answers from "No way he'd kill me and the punter" through to "Yeah he suggested it"

I have to say on a couple of occasions it's made the punt seem almost a bit kinkier knowing the girl was cheating on her OH 

[patdavies]

The one I get constantly is does your partner/husband/significant other know you do this ?
 

I get similar and they are always suprised when I say I am single.  Though I am always surprised when an sp tells me they have a partner but then I suppose I am a bit more traditional when it comes to relationships.

[Moby Dick]

Typical Parlour Girl:

Her “whats ya name?” Me “Mo”
Her “Got anything planned for the weekend”, Me “Just the usual”
Her “You married”, me “No”
Her “is it still raining”, Me “ No its nice. Too nice to be stuck in here all day”
“Would you like a massage first”, “Nah happy to get straight to sex”
“You’ve got a lovely cock”, Me “Thanks it matches me balls, don’t forget me balls”
Goes quiet as she is busy noshing.
Finish (on her face)
“That was nice, would ya like a shower?”, Me “Yes please”
“Sorry what was ya name?” ; me “Dave”
Her “got anything planned for the weekend”, me “yes I’m skinning next doors cat”
Her “ That’s nice, hope to see you again soon”, me “thanks, bye”

[the_patient_wolf]

Typical Parlour Girl:

Her “whats ya name?” Me “Mo”
Her “Got anything planned for the weekend”, Me “Just the usual”
Her “You married”, me “No”
Her “is it still raining”, Me “ No its nice. Too nice to be stuck in here all day”
“Would you like a massage first”, “Nah happy to get straight to sex”
“You’ve got a lovely cock”, Me “Thanks it matches me balls, don’t forget me balls”
Goes quiet as she is busy noshing.
Finish (on her face)
“That was nice, would ya like a shower?”, Me “Yes please”
“Sorry what was ya name?” ; me “Dave”
Her “got anything planned for the weekend”, me “yes I’m skinning next doors cat”
Her “ That’s nice, hope to see you again soon”, me “thanks, bye”

Exactly. But should it be better than that?

Would it be a better punt if we chatted about the local town, holidays, the weather, celebrities or whatever before hand? You not going to get to know anyone like that?  And I doubt many people discuss family and work like you would with normal smalltalk.

Some on here are saying they like it because it makes them feel more relaxed. But do SP want smalltalk? Do they like it? Does it make them feel more relaxed?

I suppose it might help with screening for all sides.

[Atrueyorkie]

Oh I forgot the dick reaction one. “Wooow, do you have a girlfriend”

I don’t get it, why’d I say if I do or not and what’s with the interest   

[bob the knob]

i try to have a few  gentle corny and not so corny lines prepared before hand  it  helps break the ice.  if you have a modicum of intelligence its relatively easy to have a bit of a chit chat.  failing that i start singing something like  " can't take my eyes off you" frankie valli or "close to you"  carpenters,  they love to join along.   all you need is a bit of imagination.

[Thephoenix]

i try to have a few  gentle corny and not so corny lines prepared before hand  it  helps break the ice.  if you have a modicum of intelligence its relatively easy to have a bit of a chit chat.  failing that i start singing something like  " can't take my eyes off you" frankie valli or "close to you"  carpenters,  they love to join along.   all you need is a bit of imagination.

Blimey Bob!.....the karaoke's in the pub next door 🎶🎶🎶

[WelshClipper]

I will definitely be back to see you again

 

[Thephoenix]

If it's a FBSM, the last thing I want is small talk.
I want to relax and drift into sensual bliss.

In any case, if it's a Thai place, the usual small talk goes.

"Hello...you busy today?"".........reply, "eighty poun', body body"
"What your name?".............................."eighty poun', body body"
"What day you work here?"................."eighty poun', body, body"
"I suppose a shag up the arse is out of the question?"........."eighty poun', body body"....."you marry man?"

[JPin]

In my more sensitive days, when I was a bit younger, I would've floundered so badly with small talk. Nowadays it's pretty much a breeze and I find it hilarious when I come across an SP who's just not interested ... Like talking to a brick wall.

I meet new people all the time in my job, and been doing it over 15 years now, so I can always find ways to break the ice and keep the chat going if need be.

[Steely Dan]

I find talking about countries they have visited useful.  It is neutral, far away from daily life, and they have all been somewhere.  Can lead to a story.  A neutral story they can tell that does not intrude on their day-to-day life.  If I have to reciprocate, telling them about some  nice (or shitty) trip to Germany or France discloses nothing that I choose to keep to myself.  I have sometimes mentioned that I work for in sales for Universal Exports, but I guess none of those few were 007 fans.

[Lou2019]

Sadly I have been that guy. I have no idea why I sometimes say it. Maybe I am nervous? or just a bit thick?

I just think why    why do you want to know this

[Moby Dick]

Exactly. But should it be better than that?

Would it be a better punt if we chatted about the local town, holidays, the weather, celebrities or whatever before hand? You not going to get to know anyone like that?  And I doubt many people discuss family and work like you would with normal smalltalk.

Some on here are saying they like it because it makes them feel more relaxed. But do SP want smalltalk? Do they like it? Does it make them feel more relaxed?

I suppose it might help with screening for all sides.

I am not there to get to know them.
It’s punting , not dating.
Conversation is just a means to an end.
I am there to spunk on her face. She is there for my money.
Anything that is said doesn’t matter, don’t mention anything personal or that would identify you.
I’d rather make stuff up, they don’t care, they aren’t even listening. They will ask the same question 10minutes later, I just give a different answer. Who cares.

[patdavies]

Typical Parlour Girl:

Her “whats ya name?” Me “Mo”
Her “Got anything planned for the weekend”, Me “Just the usual”
Her “You married”, me “No”
Her “is it still raining”, Me “ No its nice. Too nice to be stuck in here all day”
“Would you like a massage first”, “Nah happy to get straight to sex”
“You’ve got a lovely cock”, Me “Thanks it matches me balls, don’t forget me balls”
Goes quiet as she is busy noshing.
Finish (on her face)
“That was nice, would ya like a shower?”, Me “Yes please”
“Sorry what was ya name?” ; me “Dave”
Her “got anything planned for the weekend”, me “yes I’m skinning next doors cat”
Her “ That’s nice, hope to see you again soon”, me “thanks, bye”

 

[1599337]

I had one girl keep me in the room for about 20 minutes after i had finished one time. I didnt actually ask her anything to initiate this, she just started talking about her family in Poland and how life was for her in Poland, how it compares to here, etc.
She seemed like a nice girl but I wanted to get out of there, didn't have the balls to just get up and go while she was going on about it though.

Only other times of interest I can think of were with Polish girls too. Another started talking about having gone to visit her family recently, I asked something to the effect of "how often do you get to visit them" and she just went quiet and stopped talking. Seemed odd since she bought it up in the first place.

One I stupidly asked "see many people today" and she just asked why the fuck I would want to know, which is fair enough, I didnt really want to.

[Ali Katt]

What's the point? And what to say?

Fucking stupid things I have said include:

"Are you busy?". I don't give a shit. And don't care. Or want to know.

"How old do you think I am?" I have said this after I have performed particularly well. Why do I care how old she thinks I am?  I really am a fuckwit sometimes.

What are the other stupid and pointless things we say?

In all honesty I would find talking to a hair dresser more awkward. If you meet a Tinder date for a first time you wouldn't ask her who she's fucked, how many dates she goes on a week, What's the biggest dick she's seen.

I'm introverted, but I don't see why it's difficult. Just don't be creepy, don't discuss religion or politics and don't ask the same question three times.

[Punterperson1971]

[quote author
 Just don't be creepy, don't discuss religion or politics and don't ask the same question three times.
[/quote]

[Punterperson1971]

[quote author
 Just don't be creepy, don't discuss religion or politics and don't ask the same question three times.

Similar to being on here

[stevedave]

Just don't be creepy, don't discuss religion or politics and don't ask the same question three times.

Just like being a member on here really 

[bossanova]

I don't mind a bit of small talk but when they crap on for ages (like my last 2 punts) it goes from the ok to the annoying and are you trying to waste my time – that said both of those punts went well over the hour as I'm sure they both compensate for 'small talk'

[Ali Katt]

I don't mind a bit of small talk but when they crap on for ages (like my last 2 punts) it goes from the ok to the annoying and are you trying to waste my time – that said both of those punts went well over the hour as I'm sure they both compensate for 'small talk'

I've had my time talked away before, mainly when I was starting out. It does sour it. I do love a chat, don't mind if it's in my time as long as it's not excessive. I think if it's at the start in some cases the escort is looking for you to make the first move.

[Ali Katt]

I just think why    why do you want to know this

I've never asked this, but why do some escorts ask if the punter is married? I don't think it's malicious in most cases.

[Ali Katt]

In my more sensitive days, when I was a bit younger, I would've floundered so badly with small talk. Nowadays it's pretty much a breeze and I find it hilarious when I come across an SP who's just not interested ... Like talking to a brick wall.

I meet new people all the time in my job, and been doing it over 15 years now, so I can always find ways to break the ice and keep the chat going if need be.

Pretty much this. I'm not the world's greatest conversationalist, but judging by this thread I'm far from the worst. I just keep it light and talk about shit which might be a common interest. If I'm not sure it's pretty much shit I've been up to that week whether it's holiday, meeting friends or even stuff I'm not really into but is big news like Tennis.

I appreciate you're not going to hit it off with everyone and like you say you get brick wall conversation sometimes from me as well, but the way I see it is we're pretty much there for the same reason and even if it's not what I expect I can still be jovial and polite.

Honestly if someone really struggled with this you could do a lot worse than reading conversation questions online. Like I say I don't have the gift of the gab, but I'm not really there to know juicy gossip or intimate details about a woman's private life I just want it to be easy for both us. Even when I started in my 20s I knew not to ask martial status, how big a dick can you take or what's their bank balance. If any punter doesn't know that shit by now sign up for the next series of The Undateables.

If the issue is lying. I will admit to making up my job, my martial status even were I was born. There's about you can't lie about mainly physical attributes. Honestly the stuff I said was to keep my privacy it's not out of spite. Easiest way is just not to ask personal shit and expect the same courtesy.

[signy]

To quote Jane Austen, from Sense & Sensibility. Mrs Dashwood to her daughter Margaret...

"If you can't think of anything appropriate to say you will please restrict your remarks to the weather and the state of the roads".

[Stevelondon]

With so called regulars  I have had in the  past....yes, small talk is fine.
Also with a massage kind of service I prefer to just relax and stay quiet.
If its a kind of roleplay dom/sub sort of thing then no small talk as it would spoil the setting.

[boardyhell]

years ago when I first met one of my all time favourites ,susie of barracuda,(russian) she was very chatty at the end of the business and encouraged me to stay and chat
fantastic service and a lovely woman
we sort of became friends and went to theatre etc(unpaid) occasionally
eventually she admitted she was practising her English and I thought she fancied me 

[guymids-72]

Personally I think it's great to chat in between rounds if the SP is wanting to.
With my regular we will chat about cooking, holidays, the kids etc. At the same time she will be gently stroking mini me. Before you know it, ding ding round two!

[Henchmanlet95]

I always start off with 'do you do OWO? What about CIM?' just to confirm the services I want lol. In all seriousness I can't stand small talk, but usually still do it anyway after a punt to break the awkwardness.

Typically talk about the weather, what plans they have or if they're forgein ask them how long they been in England etc. That's if they engage, sometimes it's just dead silence whilst getting I'm changed.

Not that I really care, end of the day I'm only there to shag them and leave.

[Marmalade]

It's just a case of politeness. Better prossies are happy to be steered by the customer, physically and small talk wise. If you leave it up to them or don't have stuff ready it can get out of hand. Find something nice about her on meeting and use it as a compliment. Explain what you're looking for (to save her asking) or clarify what she is happy to do. Talk about the weather if you have to -- she may well not have been outside all day. Comment nicely on her hair that sort of thing. Or something nice or interesting about the room. It doesn't have to be that sincere, especially if the hair/room is a bit shitty, it's just the sound of the voice to smooth things. Answer questions with a question or sidestep them politely. If you ask her a lot of personal questions she may well ask you the same so best avoided. As pointed out in earlier posts, most of it is getting her to shut the fuck up, but nicely, to keep her in the flow of providing the services offered and required (rather than a flow of chat).

Bear in mind women generally like to chat. Much more than men do.  But in terms of work I believe it should just be the amount that the punter desires, and within polite limits.

[Marmalade]

Personally I think it's great to chat in between rounds if the SP is wanting to.
With my regular we will chat about cooking, holidays, the kids etc. At the same time she will be gently stroking mini me. Before you know it, ding ding round two!

In other words the sort of bed chat that you'd have with a civvie if they were playing ball, a way of establishing 'a feeling of intimacy'. Which is ok as long as one doesn't get carried away. One has to remember it's a game!
 

[Marmalade]

I like a little chit chat helps relax me nothing worse than both giving each other then death stare but then thats me.

So give her a polite admiring stare, just a smile and a quick look up and down to indicate appreciation of what's on offer.

"Have you got much else on today" - i.e. are you fucking any other strangers today or am I the last one???

At the end of a session, if it's not the end of the night, why not just say "I hope you have a pleasant shift."

I get nervous on bookings especially with new people, so a bit of chat helps to break the ice.

You could always practice in front of the mirror. She's giving a performance -- so can you.
Deep breath (but not obvious), and speak in a deep relaxed voice. Don't imitate the accent or anything but you could imagine you're Douglas Craig for a moment till you get it right. You'll soon relax.

The one I get constantly is does your partner/husband/significant other know you do this ?
 

Which, not to put too fine a point on it, is fucking rude. Same as when the WG asks or intimates that question.

I get similar and they are always suprised when I say I am single.  Though I am always surprised when an sp tells me they have a partner but then I suppose I am a bit more traditional when it comes to relationships.

Like it's any of her friggin business??

While a lot of prossies don't mind or realise that they are providing a much needed service which can even keep a marriage together, some are a bit righteous about it and detest punters who "cheat" (even when they are complicit or doing the same thing).

I find talking about countries they have visited useful.

A good standby especially when she's foreign. Let's her witter for a few minutes, and one can always ask what are the best things about the capital of Belbogland in Sowhatistan. This is a good technique. Get her on a subject that makes her feel good and smiling and then associate it with some nice physical touching as she's talking.

"If you can't think of anything appropriate to say you will please restrict your remarks to the weather and the state of the roads".

And excellent advice it was!! 

[guymids-72]

In other words the sort of bed chat that you'd have with a civvie if they were playing ball, a way of establishing 'a feeling of intimacy'. Which is ok as long as one doesn't get carried away. One has to remember it's a game!
 

Indeed....for me it's all part of the illusion that I pay for

[Boristheboy]

I know my earlier comment was a bit jokey but yes I do engage in a bit of small talk as already said it can help as an ice breaker and put the girl at ease which can then lead to a better punt if she can see you are a decent bloke etc.

Regarding the "Does your OH know" it's come up many times during small talk but I can't honestly say whether i've asked or how the question arose but it's amazing the variety of answers from "No way he'd kill me and the punter" through to "Yeah he suggested it"

I have to say on a couple of occasions it's made the punt seem almost a bit kinkier knowing the girl was cheating on her OH 

I actually once had a girl ask me for ideas for excuses she could give her other half for the red marks on her bottom that were from a previous punter caning her. I think she went with sitting on a hot radiator in the end.