CurvyxxCandyxx - Norton/Stockton

[Dan753640]

The punt was actually over Easter but I’d repressed it to the back of my mind due to it being a traumatic event, which was triggered back in to existence from a recent review by someone else.

I don’t even know where to start.

Someone had posted that she has a hot chav mum look in another review which I really like, so when I had slim pickings during a quick layover in the north east, thought I’d take a chance on her.

How wrong I was. Looking back it was horrific from start to finish and it actually goes down as one of my biggest regrets for not saying goodbye as soon as she opened the door. She’s a nice lass at heart but really not attractive facially or with any bodily features you would class as anything worth paying for.

I was led up to a flat in Stockton that she was staying in (a friend she said) which honestly, I shit you not, I could not see a few metres in front of my face due to the actually visible smoke clouds throughout the flat. I was led in to a bedroom which was essentially just a mattress on a floor with unclean bed covers. I caught sight of myself in a dirty mirror and asked myself what I was doing with my life as I stripped off, seemingly unable to swim against the current of going ahead with this like some sort of disabled salmon.

We get on the bed and she legit starts squeezing my knob like a stress ball, in between admitting that she lies about her age on AW, that she has multiple children (I think she said 5 or 6) and that she snorts Coke. To this day, I regard it as a psychological and medical marvel that I managed to cum. Maybe it was worth it for that, as a lesson to myself that my mental strength and fortitude could rival a survivor of a Vietcong POW camp.

When I think that I could have had naughtynicolette for £5 more I actually shudder, but she was unavailable at the time. Maybe a life lesson that some things have no substitute/that they’re worth waiting for, although I’d rather not have the memory of this than be part of some nightmarish, post modern take on Aesop’s fables.

In short, she’s actually a nice lass but in all seriousness, should not be a SP.


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[Davey677]

Could of saved poor Billabong a few quid if you’d posted sooner but cheers for the review

[woiczeck]

I caught sight of myself in a dirty mirror and asked myself what I was doing with my life as I stripped off, seemingly unable to swim against the current of going ahead with this like some sort of disabled salmon.

This is possibly the funniest thing I have ever read on UKP!    Coifee, came out ma nose!!!

[billabong]

Could of saved poor Billabong a few quid if you’d posted sooner but cheers for the review

Such is life 

[Aldebaran]

She was on my possibles list, but the last two reviews have kicked her firmly onto the never ever list. Ho hum, Teesside gets worse by the day.

[Dan753640]

Sorry, Billabong!

[MagpieToon]

  loved this review, thank you!

Not my cup of tea but one I know to avoid if desperate!

[billabong]

Sorry, Billabong!

I feel we’ve shared a unique experience so don’t sweat it.

[Dimond dave]

   this isn't a direct knock bud think the experience has had its own effect.  One golden rule if your gut instinct kicks in. Walk.   Sorry to hear you had a shit punt

Hopefully it will highlight it for other lads.   

The punt was actually over Easter but I’d repressed it to the back of my mind due to it being a traumatic event, which was triggered back in to existence from a recent review by someone else.

I don’t even know where to start.

Someone had posted that she has a hot chav mum look in another review which I really like, so when I had slim pickings during a quick layover in the north east, thought I’d take a chance on her.

How wrong I was. Looking back it was horrific from start to finish and it actually goes down as one of my biggest regrets for not saying goodbye as soon as she opened the door. She’s a nice lass at heart but really not attractive facially or with any bodily features you would class as anything worth paying for.

I was led up to a flat in Stockton that she was staying in (a friend she said) which honestly, I shit you not, I could not see a few metres in front of my face due to the actually visible smoke clouds throughout the flat. I was led in to a bedroom which was essentially just a mattress on a floor with unclean bed covers. I caught sight of myself in a dirty mirror and asked myself what I was doing with my life as I stripped off, seemingly unable to swim against the current of going ahead with this like some sort of disabled salmon.

We get on the bed and she legit starts squeezing my knob like a stress ball, in between admitting that she lies about her age on AW, that she has multiple children (I think she said 5 or 6) and that she snorts Coke. To this day, I regard it as a psychological and medical marvel that I managed to cum. Maybe it was worth it for that, as a lesson to myself that my mental strength and fortitude could rival a survivor of a Vietcong POW camp.

When I think that I could have had naughtynicolette for £5 more I actually shudder, but she was unavailable at the time. Maybe a life lesson that some things have no substitute/that they’re worth waiting for, although I’d rather not have the memory of this than be part of some nightmarish, post modern take on Aesop’s fables.

In short, she’s actually a nice lass but in all seriousness, should not be a SP.


External Link/Members Only

[AgedCases]

 "I shit you not, I could not see a few metres in front of my face due to the actually visible smoke clouds throughout the flat."

That would've made it much easier to walk, right? See wouldn't see you getting away.