Popular media on UKEscorting.com (free site!)

UKPunting is a free, independent and not-for-profit paid sex buyer site.




Author Topic: Jaynee1568  (Read 2889 times)


1 review(s) for Jaynee1568 (0 positive, 0 neutral, 1 negative) [Indexed by Admin]


Roland D Hay

https://www.adultwork.com/ViewProfile.asp?UserID=2140045

I quite liked the look of this lady from her profile pic and thought she looked pretty fit considering she was claiming to be 46. I was aware it wasn't a full sex service but £60 for the hour is about right with the happy ending, however...

Comms were good enough, no real pleasantries but she didn't mess me about. Jaynee answered the door wearing a black basque and knickers. I'd say her profile pic is pretty accurate, she is a very attractive black lady with a great figure who doesn't look anything like her age. So, a good start up until she showed me into Albert Steptoe's parlour... A darkened stairwell leading up to her first floor flat briefly  hid her shambled existence. No carpet on the stairs followed by an old wooden window frame at the top of the stairs and junk everywhere. She showed me into her lounge and asked me to take a seat. My eyes were desperately searching for some semblance of normality where I'd actually feel comfortable stripping off for a massage. Hopefully the massage room or bedroom is better I thought. A brief chat and she asked to sort the paperwork, that done I got up waiting to be led to the massage room... pleasant mood lighting, scented candles, warm soothing massage oil, a heated massage table and the gentle sound of whale song,  all perfectly tailored to sooth away the days stresses. Errr, No! 'Where you going, aren't you gonna strip off?' I was confused, there was literally nowhere to stretch out for a massage until her cunning plan revealed itself. The chair she was sat in, which incidentally was covered in a grubby old quilt, was a recliner. Incredulously I asked, really, you do your massages from the reclining chair? Yes she said, would you let every Tom, Dick or Harry in your bedroom? No, I said, absolutely not, but in my head I'm thinking, but I don't offer body massage and hand jobs for cash.
There was an awkward moment when she asked me what I was expecting and that a lot of guys got the wrong idea. So I told her bluntly that  I was aware it wasn't a full sex service and that I was expecting a massage and a handjob. I really should have walked purely based on the state of the place but she was what I was expecting and the mistake I made was in hoping that she had a clean and pleasant room for punters. Too late, I found myself laid out on a reclining office type chair on a quilt that at some distant point in the past used to be white.
It was the most stressful massage I've ever experienced, and yet I felt like I'd discovered some new type of headfuck service... the ironic massage... A stress reducing massage delivered in the most stressful of surroundings; on leaving I considered the merits of booking another massage with some local Thai lovely to counteract what I'd just been through.
The thing is, Jaynee obviously thinks she offers an amazing service and don't get me wrong, she's got great hands and she does give a great massage but the whole experience is fucking bizarre. She talks incessantly throughout, she name checked a number of celebs who were all following her on Instagram, she played me a few of her favourite tunes and constantly stopped massaging me as she was distracted by various things on her mobile phone that she felt the need to share with me. At one point she said she had added on another 10 minutes to make up for the time she'd stopped and was talking. She is completely oblivious to the fact that this is not an environment that any self respecting punter would welcome visiting, whether it be for a full sex service or a massage. The fact that it was just a 'relaxing massage' almost made it worse. If I'd gone along for a chat then I'd have enjoyed Jaynee's company, she is fairly upbeat, chatty and engaging but she needs to fucking wake up to the reality of what she is offering. She talked about how she likes to provide a good service so that clients return but she lacks any shred of self awareness. The service was 45 minutes of very good massage with nothing on show to heighten the experience. Everything is on the clock so with 15 minutes to go, the handjob starts. This is immediate, there was no gentle lead in or teasing, it was like flicking the switch from massage to handjob. I was completely devoid of any sexual thoughts and struggling to get hard, I eventually managed a three quarter... (A bit more than a semi) but only after asking if she would mind getting her tits out (as I desperately needed some sort of visual stimulation but even these turned out to be fake), before dumping my load and quickly getting dressed. Fuck me, even the oils she used left me feeling like I'd just been coated in goose fat ready for a cross channel swim. I felt fucking rancid when I left.


1 review(s) found for Jaynee1568 linked to in above post (0 positive, 0 neutral, 1 negative)

Offline sam55

OMG this sort of thing is enough to put you off sex for life!
Excellent comprehensive review but perhaps a little too much information!   :vomit:
On the plus side, your next punt has gotta be better.

massive naivety on her part believing that what she gave you constitutes a good service  :dash: you wonder what some of them are thinking, informative review though, doubt she'll have much trade from ukp

Offline bod666

Mr Hay you should write a book! Fantastically entertaining read even if i shudder in horror at the evocative picture you paint.
I personally quite like the idea of a body to body massage with a happy ending but every advert i've seen they want the same cash as a normal punt. So weighing the two options... i'll go for the shag everytime. Ah well...

Offline fuddle

Holy sweet mother of mary, that sounds like a shocking experience. I presume you took 47 showers over the next 3 hours, before gently peeling off your skin. In fact, I feel gross just from reading your review. Look forwards, my friend, not backwards!  :drinks:

Offline sam55

Mr Hay you should write a book! Fantastically entertaining read even if i shudder in horror at the evocative picture you paint.
I personally quite like the idea of a body to body massage with a happy ending but every advert i've seen they want the same cash as a normal punt. So weighing the two options... i'll go for the shag everytime. Ah well...

Totally agree, a superb review.
... gentle sound of whale song had me laughing out loud!  :D

A truly magnificent review. I feel for you as at one time most of us will have ended up in a dump of a place and thought wtf. However it does make for fantastic reading for the rest of us.

I'm so looking forward to your next review  :drinks:

Offline broksonic

I dread to think what good be living in that dirty quilt 
Banning reason: White-knight leaver

https://www.adultwork.com/ViewProfile.asp?UserID=2140045

Too late, I found myself laid out on a reclining office type chair on a quilt that at some distant point in the past used to be white.
It was the most stressful massage I've ever experienced, and yet I felt like I'd discovered some new type of headfuck service... the ironic massage... A stress reducing massage delivered in the most stressful of surroundings

Fantastic line and it was a very entertaining read.  Thank you.


1 review(s) found for Jaynee1568 linked to in above post (0 positive, 0 neutral, 1 negative)

Roland D Hay

Holy sweet mother of mary, that sounds like a shocking experience. I presume you took 47 showers over the next 3 hours, before gently peeling off your skin. In fact, I feel gross just from reading your review. Look forwards, my friend, not backwards!  :drinks:

Two steaming hot showers and the best part of a bottle of shower gel to get the goose fat off me. I was walking like a gunslinger when I left.

Praise indeed, thanks guys  :drinks:

Offline willbred

One to chalk up to experience. I have had contact with this woman recently. I too, thought she sounded good value and seeing her photo in the nurses uniform, asked if she was up for having a bit of roleplay. She then went into defensive mode, asking what exactly I meant, before making it clear that she only offered a massage and, I thought becoming a bit aggressive.
I told her to forget it and perhaps amend her profile. 10 minutes later, I got a text inviting me to book her for the roleplay " if I was up to it". Having read her profile and seen some of her comments, I did suspect there might be the possibility of an attitude problem.
Great report, resonates with me.
One to avoid at all costs
Banning reason: Multiple accounts (willbred, Diplomat65)

Roland D Hay

No doubt in my mind that she has a huge attitude problem, she is incredibly self absorbed and the awkward moment I mentioned was only because she asked in a very aggressive manner that she'd hoped I hadn't misunderstood the services on offer. Just to be clear, it's a non sexual service. Even the wank is non sexual. I'd have been happier paying £30 for a non sexual sports massage in pleasant surroundings.

Offline Borat

?...it's a non sexual service. Even the wank is non sexual....

Sorry to hear about the experience RDH, but this is hilarious! Blacklisted, if you pardon the pun.

Roland D Hay

Just to be clear, it's a non sexual service. Even the wank is non sexual.

It's difficult to describe her application and aptitude for the task in hand but have you ever cleaned a length of copper pipe with wire wool?


Offline Taggart

I am very surprised that the OP, being an experienced punter and valued member of this community, selected a lady who has one photo, and fuzzy at that. I need to see some bloody good photos or damn good feedback to convince me, if that's all one has to go on.

Roland D Hay

I am very surprised that the OP, being an experienced punter and valued member of this community, selected a lady who has one photo, and fuzzy at that. I need to see some bloody good photos or damn good feedback to convince me, if that's all one has to go on.

To be fair it wasn't about the way she looked. Being a punter means you sometimes take a punt :drinks:

Roland D Hay

I am very surprised that the OP, being an experienced punter and valued member of this community, selected a lady who has one photo, and fuzzy at that. I need to see some bloody good photos or damn good feedback to convince me, if that's all one has to go on.

And let's also not forget that I didn't book the girl for a fuck. A big difference in my view, much reduced risk as it was a simple massage and hand job, what could possibly go wrong...




Latest videos on UKEscorting.com (free site!)

Latest images on UKEscorting.com (free site!)