External Link/Members Only or
External Link/Members OnlyI felt I had to write this review while the horror was still fresh in my memory
Hopefully, time proves to be a great healer.
When: This morning.
Where: House in BH9.
Comms: Good leading up to today. Booking for 1 hour at 10.00am agreed a couple of days ago. But get a message this morning... "Can you make it for 9.30? Not to worry if you can't, it's just because I will be ready for you by then.". I replied that I'll try but it will depend on traffic. However, I did in fact manage to get parked up at 9.25, perfect I thought. Messaged Kellie to announce my arrival, to which she replied, "Ahh, not ready yet, give me 15 minutes.".
Was eventually messaged the house number, a short walk away. On arrival Kelly opened the door and I stepped in. Looking back in retrospect, I should have made my excuses and left...
Firstly, Kellie had made absolutely no attempt to wear what I had requested and that she had agreed to during the booking process. Secondly the place was an absolute shit heap. There was also an odd smell about the place, stale and unpleasant. Yes, I know, I should have walked...
I have no idea who her profile pics are because they ain't Kellie. No way is she a size 10/12, more easily a 14, with a huge belly
. Her looks? Think Mike Tindall before the nose job
I was invited to make my way up the the room with the open door and get comfortable. OK, I was willing to try. The bedroom was a bigger shit hole than downstairs. And that rank smell lingered. What was I thinking? Paperwork completed I asked if I could wash my hands to get the outside world off of them. The polite thing to do, I feel. More crap and junk all over the bathroom, AND THERE WAS UNFLUSHED SHIT STILL IN THE LOO!!!
(Yes, I can almost hear what you're all shouting...)
Now, I guess we're all into this punting lark for varying reasons. Some just want a quick fuck, others to indulge in fantasies and fetishes, etc. Me? A gentle GFE with kisses and cuddles along with friendly, intelligent conversation does it for me. Go with the flow and see what happens. You know what I mean?
Kellie's idea of GFE foreplay? "Just going for a piss, you better be naked by the time I get back." Well I wasn't. Unfortunately Kellie was, on her return. Not a pretty sight. Nevertheless, not one to be defeated easily, I was prepared to see where this went as we lay together on the bed, me tweeaking her nipples. In short, nowhere. She was up and down to the window at every noise outside wondering if it was a delivery she was expecting. "Nah, fuckin' woman opposite washin' 'er car!"
Back to a little fondling with Kellie attempting to get the old fella hard. Not a chance. Then up she jumps again, "Fuck, better lock the door before me ol' man comes round."
WHAT???
Back she comes and lights up a fag FFS! By this time I really am thinking of escaping, when she offers me a massage. OK, why not I thought? Then the punt won't be a complete bust. It was. The 'massage' was as shit as the rest of the place. So 40 minutes in and I make my excuses, get dressed and make my way downstairs, picking my way through the abandoned clothes, shoes, crisp packets, last night's takeaway...
"Bye bye" she waves with what I guess was a smile, follwed by a smoker's coughing fit, "Text me when you want to see me again". Not a hope in hell!!!
I've met with a few girls over the last 4 years punting, Kellie was by far the worse all round experience I've ever had. I got back in the car and sprayed hand sanitiser everywhere I could reach. I couldn't get home fast enough to stand in a red hot shower for half hour to wash away that awful lingering smell. Unfortunately, the memory of it all is going to take a little longer I fear.
Would I meet her again? What do you think?
Topic: kinkykissablekellie - Bournemouth (Read 3041 times)
