External Link/Members OnlyPoor right from the get go. I had chosen to try this place out as I was would be in the area and noticed that the website mentioned "erotic massage", so though why not.
Comms were abysmal, website has a contact form and email both of which went unanswered, landline number provided also got nothing, finally the mobile number got a reply from a text. Asked for a booking at 1630 for 90 min, replied "Ok"; I then asked to confirm the price, replied "40 60".
Location is on coton lane and right next door to well known/reviewed establishment (should have just went there), no issues parking nearby and there was limited foot traffic passing; though the shop front is big glass windows and it is easy to see in (this lead to other issues which I'll come to).
Arrived (all be it a couple of minutes late) and rang bell, girl looked surprised I was there and confused when I said I had a booking. Was told she was busy and asked if I could wait 15 minutes. (wish I had just walked at this point, now knowing she decided to juggle two of us at the same time).
I sent a text to the number I used, seeking to clarify the matter, only for the girl to come out and say it is her I am messaging. She then confirmed what/how long I wanted, decided on an hour; after clarifying that it is £60 for that.
Eventually (1650ish) I was taken upstairs to a room with a small massage table and an inflatable bed next to it (on the windowsill was a condom, unused fortunately, which was swiftly hidden); asked to undress while she went to check on the other guest.
When she returned the massage started relatively ok, decent pressure in the right areas; then she used an electric massage gun, the sensation was nice but the noise sounded like it was about explode. After she answered a phone call and went to check on the other guest again, she asked if I wanted anything else. I asked what she offered, "everything" was the reply; requested B2B, she then tried to push FS, but I politely declined. Told it was £20 for B2B, and if that was all I wanted, a HE is another £10. Massage continued for another few minutes, all this time no swipes, touches or anything to encourage the direction things intended to go.
On the flip she was still clothed, so she then took off her top and bottoms, panties stayed on though. What followed can only be described as the most piss weak attempt at B2B, she basically just lay on top of me. After several minutes of this I was bored, so was she it seemed, she asked if it was time, decided may as well just call time on things, so she jumped off and got to work and did the job. She then encouraged me to finish the time off in the sauna as it was included in the price; this would be fine if it was on top of the hour massage or the last 10 minutes, but it was only 1710. She then went to "get it ready", I knew I was going to have to go back downstairs into shopfront with the windows, so I started getting dressed, only for her to return and mock me for it and tell me to use a robe she had. Nice gesture, except it did not close fully or cover everything, this would not have been so bad if we just swiftly move through the room (unlikely someone will be looking in at that exact moment), but as I went down stairs there was some bloke just sat on the sofa in the waiting area.
Honestly the sauna was the best part of this, hard to mess up hot stones + water = steam. But there was no way I was going to spend 30 minutes just lying there cooking myself. So after 15 minutes I decided enough was enough and exited, partaking in the available shower (this wasn't offered but it was needed). There were no towels, so I just had to use the robe she provided (this is one of the things she did tell me)
So I left £90 lighter and approx. 20min ahead of time.
Would I return, no.
Would I recommend it, no.
Do I regret this, definitely.
