Author Topic: Serene Spa, Balham - Dependable FBSM, as ever  (Read 5735 times)

Offline londonchap

Contact 020 8675 6818

This place is well-known for being a fairly safe bet, but it does have a 'straight' vibe. It opens late, but spends most of the daytime giving beauty treatments to local ladies.

Visit in the evening for better service, as it's quieter. You'll likely be offered a room downstairs, and 1hr of basic massage is 50 quid.

Shower facilities are clean and functional, without being luxurious. Sauna and steam room are also nice and clean, but not always available in the evenings (suspect they are more focused towards the legit customers).

I've had Christina (Brazilian) a few times in the past year. She's 5ft5-ish, has mousey hair, and looks unspectacular in clothes. The massage is perfunctory, but not terrible. Lots of oil and elbows, and a few cc swipes. She tends to be chatty for the first half, then quieten down a little. Pleasant conversation overall.

Topless HR is 50 quid, fully naked is 70 quid. Not cheap, but not ridiculous. Christina has lovely fake Brazilian boobs, and only a little flab around the middle. Touching is ok, but she's got the 'legs clamped together' stance down to a tee.

HR is excellent. Usually lasts 10-15min, with lots of variety and teasing.

Not the cheapest way to get a rub and tug, but a solid and dependable experience.

Offline SpaceRaiderDave


Topless HR is 50 quid, fully naked is 70 quid. Not cheap, but not ridiculous. 

Balham is not central London so I think £50 door price plus £70 for a naked HE is borderline ridiculous

I went a few times in 2019 but got fed up having to negotiate the girls down from their £50 clothed HE starting poition
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Offline londonchap

Balham is not central London so I think £50 door price plus £70 for a naked HE is borderline ridiculous

I went a few times in 2019 but got fed up having to negotiate the girls down from their £50 clothed HE starting poition
It's an opinion, I guess.

Balham is a nice part of Zone 2, so I'd expect to pay more than in a grim part of town. Either way, it's not significantly out of whack, and the venue is nice, so it works for me.

Offline RAJEC

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Offline SpaceRaiderDave

It's an opinion, I guess.

Balham is a nice part of Zone 2, so I'd expect to pay more than in a grim part of town. Either way, it's not significantly out of whack, and the venue is nice, so it works for me.

If it works for you then thats the most important thing. Balham however is in Zone 3 and if anyone is looking for a shop with a HE option there are plenty there are plenty of cheaper alternatives. 
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Offline LLPunting

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It's an opinion, I guess.

Balham is a nice part of Zone 2, so I'd expect to pay more than in a grim part of town. Either way, it's not significantly out of whack, and the venue is nice, so it works for me.

Would never have considered this lot to be FBSM, they're a semi-legit massage joint where some girls used to give you a lot more for your 40-60 extra.

Given the price of nearby FS SPs and indeed the other massage shops all about, the price you paid (and that demanded by the over-entitled girls now at Serene) this place is far from being a decent option for anyone within 2 miles.  Services offered by the opportunists there have been on the wane for the past 2-3 years.  If you avail yourself of the sauna and steam then perhaps you can warrant the extra 5 on the house fee, there is no justification for the price of extras because there are more than enough prettier girls locally who will do (much) more for 120 or less, let alone what you can get for 150.  And if you have any game you can score some serious civvy totty for even less, or just go to Infernos...  :dash:

And dependable?  They made no offer of credit for the inept and morose masseuse they "recommended" last year.
« Last Edit: May 09, 2021, 10:49:23 pm by LLPunting »

Offline londonchap

Would never have considered this lot to be FBSM, they're a semi-legit massage joint where some girls used to give you a lot more for your 40-60 extra.

Given the price of nearby FS SPs and indeed the other massage shops all about, the price you paid (and that demanded by the over-entitled girls now at Serene) this place is far from being a decent option for anyone within 2 miles.  Services offered by the opportunists there have been on the wane for the past 2-3 years.  If you avail yourself of the sauna and steam then perhaps you can warrant the extra 5 on the house fee, there is no justification for the price of extras because there are more than enough prettier girls locally who will do (much) more for 120 or less, let alone what you can get for 150.  And if you have any game you can score some serious civvy totty for even less, or just go to Infernos...  :dash:

And dependable?  They made no offer of credit for the inept and morose masseuse they "recommended" last year.
I'm confused why you're comparing a decent massage with HE, in a clean and reputable establishment, with local FS merchants or trafficked Asians in dirty basements? All for the sake of saving 20 quid.

These aren't the same things, and I wouldn't expect to pay the same for them.

Offline Fuzzyduck

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I'm confused why you're comparing a decent massage with HE, in a clean and reputable establishment, with local FS merchants or trafficked Asians in dirty basements? All for the sake of saving 20 quid.

These aren't the same things, and I wouldn't expect to pay the same for them.

"massage is perfunctory, but not terrible" doesn't sound particularly decent. That said, Serene seem to have positioned themselves well in the market.

Offline SpaceRaiderDave

I'm confused why you're comparing a decent massage with HE, in a clean and reputable establishment, with local FS merchants or trafficked Asians in dirty basements? All for the sake of saving 20 quid.

These aren't the same things, and I wouldn't expect to pay the same for them.

There are various other places that Serene could be compared to and Serene would come off worse on price.

When I went to Serene a few years ago I also went to Indulgence Health & Beauty on Plough Lane Clapham Junction and would consider them comparable on facilities offered. At that time Indulgence had both a lower door fee and the girls were not as greedy.
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Offline LLPunting

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I'm confused why you're comparing a decent massage with HE, in a clean and reputable establishment, with local FS merchants or trafficked Asians in dirty basements? All for the sake of saving 20 quid.

These aren't the same things, and I wouldn't expect to pay the same for them.

Which basements are you referring to?  The only basement tuggers in the 1+ mile radius are Serene and perhaps the Chinese masseuse in the therapy/knick-knack shop along the way if she's still operating.

"Reputable"?  As in you want to go into a "spa" that offers legitimate beauty and well-being services to predominantly women so you can get tossed off (or more) in an erstwhile brothel?

Most every other place in the area is clean although granted not decorated white like a legit beauty parlour.  They all use the same tissue paper to line their tables.  Some have in room showers unlike Serene.  Most are unlikely to have female and male customers in reception or other common areas.

By all means cry "trafficked" if you care to assume these things, but it also covers those nationalities represented by Serene staff.

Just like any establishment Serene is variable both with massage skills and skills in delivering extras.  Serene are the most likely to ask for significantly more than the going rate compared to most any other place within miles and for the same or (much) less you can get a lot more value if a "genuine" massage is not a priority.  You can also get a better genuine massage at a number of genuine therapists in the locality and with the money you save from no extras you can indulge in a FS 30 mins with a decent SP in the area.

You have the Northern Line corridor of Sin (Morden to Waterloo for starters) as well as Streatham, Battersea, Wandsworth Town, Tulse Hill, Crystal Palace, Thornton Heath, Norbury, Norwood, Victoria, Chelsea, Croydon and Wimbledon all easy striking distance by Tube, train, bus, car, bike, cycle and even foot. 

If you want more of the "prettier" masseuse who might do more thing and you're happier to pay over the odds and can accommodate (or rent a cheap local hotel room) then the much discussed visiting massage operations have a good number of girls who will travel to SW4/17 (some of Serene's girls who delivered competent massage and decent extras for reasonable money who left have appeared on at least one of these services).  I've lived in the area for many years, rented bargain hotel rooms in the area for liaisons, used Airb*bs too.

So the argument is that if you want a decent massage, go elsewhere.  If you want better value extras, more extras or indeed you actually wanna fuck, go elsewhere.  In both cases you will very likely get better vfm.  The ONLY reason to use Serene is because you want to pay over the odds for nothing exceptional in either aspect but fancy a sauna and steam too and perhaps bump into (and chat with) other (non-punter) patrons, which I have done.


Offline PumpDump

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Completly agree with LLPunting, £100 for a hand job + massage is a complete joke.
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Offline heyheyhey

Has anyone been to Serene spa recently?
Does anyone know if Annie or Sarah(Andreea) still work there? Anyone had experiences with either of those 2? Thinking to go there soon and book. :thumbsup:

Offline LEOJONTY

I have visited this spa free years ago where I have met an Arab girl with big ass. Probably from Tunis. Great memories.

Offline heyheyhey

I have visited this spa free years ago where I have met an Arab girl with big ass. Probably from Tunis. Great memories.

I remember her. Huge ass and very bubbly. That was many years ago! Any experiences with Sara?

Offline titanph

Sorry but 70 for a topless HE is ridiculous. £70 should cover the massage and HE especially in Balham. The guy says it’s a nicer part of London, but it’s a shit hole like most parts of London so should be priced the same.

Offline LLPunting

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Sorry but 70 for a topless HE is ridiculous. £70 should cover the massage and HE especially in Balham. The guy says it’s a nicer part of London, but it’s a shit hole like most parts of London so should be priced the same.

Your hyperbole doesn't do you any credit even if rubbishing the pricing at Serene is on point, Balham has been far better than a shithole for over a decade.

Offline titanph

One walk through Balham to tooting would show you otherwise. You can head into central London and get the same for £80 so I the pricing at Serene is really out of kilter.