Author Topic: If WGs were Cars (Read 888 times)

donnybob · « **on:** March 26, 2021, 10:10:07 am »

Just imagine going to test drive a new car, and you find out they are advertised like AW profiles

Sorry sir, I know the advert says 0 -60 in 5 seconds, but its nearer 20 seconds

you wanted Automatic? no chance

That gear lever does say reverse, but this car can't actually get into reverse

new car? well its actually 10 years older, but it photographs well

cheap running costs? well yes as you will never ever drive it again

Come on guys there must be loads more

Thephoenix · « **Reply #1 on:** March 26, 2021, 11:26:37 am »

Firm chassis with soft suspension and smooth ride.

Recent rebore and exhaust decoke.

Takes a full load

Plenty of room in the rear.

Regularly serviced by the local Kwickfit fitters.

Corus Boy · « **Reply #2 on:** March 26, 2021, 12:10:20 pm »

Only one previous owner.

Comes with a full service history.

king tarzan · « **Reply #3 on:** March 26, 2021, 12:23:45 pm »

The more years worked the more dick mileage...

Imagine being in your night club days and seeing one particular woman getting her tongue down many different mens throats??

What would you think???

lostandfound · « **Reply #4 on:** March 26, 2021, 12:37:23 pm »

Surprised airbags hasn't had a mention yet!

Private Parts · « **Reply #5 on:** March 26, 2021, 12:42:22 pm »

In my day it was a Cortina/Sierra called a Ford clitoris.
Cos every c*nt had one

FLYING BLUE · « **Reply #6 on:** March 26, 2021, 01:54:22 pm »

If WG's were cars, the cost of a 30 minute 'ride' would be almost double what it was 2-3 years ago.

timsussex · « **Reply #7 on:** March 26, 2021, 04:23:21 pm »

in the 70s Ford were notorious for selling very basic models and virtually everything was an extra - reminds me of a few ladies

Private Parts · « **Reply #8 on:** March 26, 2021, 04:33:27 pm »

Quote from: timsussex on March 26, 2021, 04:23:21 pm

in the 70s Ford were notorious for selling very basic models and virtually everything was an extra - reminds me of a few ladies

I refer the honourable member to my reply#5.
Sad though that they dispensed with the bench seat in the consul.
PP

timsussex · « **Reply #9 on:** March 26, 2021, 04:48:08 pm »

careful chaps this could rebound

Cars are usually seen as penis extensions or substitutes

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esp at 4:30

Scotpunter · « **Reply #10 on:** March 26, 2021, 05:07:11 pm »

Quote from: timsussex on March 26, 2021, 04:23:21 pm

in the 70s Ford were notorious for selling very basic models and virtually everything was an extra - reminds me of a few ladies

The Ford Romanian?

Private Parts · « **Reply #11 on:** March 26, 2021, 05:11:08 pm »

My experience of Ford drivers is that they never know when to pull out.

B4bcock · « **Reply #12 on:** March 26, 2021, 10:28:03 pm »

If WGs were cars, my choice would be a phwoar! by phwoar!

(Or should that be phwhore! by phwhore! ??)

timsussex · « **Reply #13 on:** March 26, 2021, 10:40:03 pm »

Quote from: Scotpunter on March 26, 2021, 05:07:11 pm

The Ford Romanian?

No appropriately enough a Ford ESCORT

Ahalfa Carling · « **Reply #14 on:** March 27, 2021, 12:51:27 am »

waiting for a comment about Old Bangers!!

Gordon Bennett · « **Reply #15 on:** March 27, 2021, 12:33:31 pm »

We need some input from Swiss Toni!

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David1970 · « **Reply #16 on:** March 27, 2021, 01:28:57 pm »

Far to many Dacia claiming to be luxury models

CheeseBoard · « **Reply #17 on:** March 27, 2021, 01:47:41 pm »

Id want my car to be not economical, a guzzler would do just fine

Scotpunter · « **Reply #18 on:** March 27, 2021, 01:56:54 pm »

Cor!-Tina ?

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mr small · « **Reply #19 on:** March 27, 2021, 03:26:10 pm »

Disclaimer - May have been a company or rental vehicle and therefore had multiple users

Blackpool Rock · « **Reply #20 on:** March 27, 2021, 04:47:54 pm »

Quote from: timsussex on March 26, 2021, 04:23:21 pm

in the 70s Ford were notorious for selling very basic models and virtually everything was an extra - reminds me of a few ladies

I believe BMW's are still like that

As for WG's being like cars -
Doesn't start well in the mornings and this one has a Tracker fitted (AKA Prison tag)

Blackpool Rock · « **Reply #21 on:** March 27, 2021, 04:49:08 pm »

Quote from: timsussex on March 26, 2021, 10:40:03 pm

No appropriately enough a Ford ESCORT

Or even a Ford Escort Popular

Blackpool Rock · « **Reply #22 on:** March 27, 2021, 04:50:51 pm »

Quote from: Scotpunter on March 26, 2021, 05:07:11 pm

The Ford Romanian?

I've had a few of them but avoid now, not a good drive at all and a lack of feedback through the controls

webpunter · « **Reply #23 on:** March 27, 2021, 07:31:26 pm »

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contentguy · « **Reply #24 on:** March 27, 2021, 07:36:14 pm »

Or to put it the other was, if cars were escorts.
Dacia:
Gears,
Brakes,
Seats,
Doors
is esstra bebe

unclepokey · « **Reply #25 on:** March 27, 2021, 07:49:58 pm »

What about the NSU with the rotary wankle engine?

I had an NSU Prinz for a while which sounded much like my mum's sewing machine.

webpunter · « **Reply #26 on:** March 27, 2021, 08:24:31 pm »

Now which motor would be a Courtesan ?
Some overpriced heap which you wouldn't want to be seen in
Belongs in yesteryear
Well well past its sell by date
But there is still some stupid fucker who wants to buy it
Lexus LS400 ?

webpunter · « **Reply #27 on:** March 27, 2021, 08:34:28 pm »

Shite romas & shite cars
Austin Rover Group 'ARG'
Take your pick
Allegro
Maxi
Marina
Maestro
Montego

Now if you happen to be a UKP brummie & have fond memories of ARG as you or your parents were given a job to produce shite cars you can focus on Dagenham Dustbins 'DD'

Me thinks ARG edges it over DD [we do like edging]
ARG motors were unreliable as fuck
Only bettered by their employees who would down tools at a moments notice or fail to put a proper shift in

mr small · « **Reply #28 on:** March 28, 2021, 12:51:12 am »

IF......

Ford =Fix Or Repair Daily
Fiat = Fix It Again Tomorrow
Lotus = Lots Of Trouble Usually Serious
etc etc etc

What does Romanian stand for ??

Blackpool Rock · « **Reply #29 on:** March 28, 2021, 03:41:38 am »

Quote from: webpunter on March 27, 2021, 08:34:28 pm

Shite romas & shite cars
Austin Rover Group 'ARG'
Take your pick
Allegro
Maxi
Marina
Maestro
Montego

Now if you happen to be a UKP brummie & have fond memories of ARG as you or your parents were given a job to produce shite cars you can focus on Dagenham Dustbins 'DD'

Me thinks ARG edges it over DD [we do like edging]
ARG motors were unreliable as fuck
Only bettered by their employees who would down tools at a moments notice or fail to put a proper shift in

But for escorts you forgot the ARG classic "Princess", so good they renamed it "Ambassador", same car with the same faults just a new badge hoping we wouldn't notice, and some people still bought them

Thephoenix · « **Reply #30 on:** March 28, 2021, 09:03:42 am »

Quote from: mr small on March 28, 2021, 12:51:12 am

IF......

Ford =Fix Or Repair Daily
Fiat = Fix It Again Tomorrow
Lotus = Lots Of Trouble Usually Serious
etc etc etc

What does Romanian stand for ??

Rubbish oral, mediocre attitude, no idea about nookie.

GreyDave · « **Reply #31 on:** March 28, 2021, 01:44:26 pm »

Quote from: Thephoenix on March 28, 2021, 09:03:42 am

Rubbish oral, mediocre attitude, no idea about nookie.

5 Stars to you Sir

Most of the Hungarian WG`s Ive shagged seem to be like those bargin Hoilday rental motors OK BUT you wish you`d paid that little bit more for an Alfa or that Mustang in Florida