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Author Topic: do you worry about wife finding out  (Read 6152 times)

Offline Siadwel

I punted when I was married.

Funny, I always felt more guilty about spending the money elsewhere, other than on my family. Never felt guilty about the sex.

Offline Toshiba

hahaha yeah boooooy


You come across as a bit of a prick

Keep going

Offline Toshiba

this is one subject that goes around and around in my head after every punt. I am much the same as others in that I'm not sure what would happen if I gave my wife a std, I think I would be more upset than she would!
still the value of a good punt seems, at present, to out weigh the risk


I get scared shitless if i even feel the remotest twinge on my cock, im great at hiding this hobby from her but having owo is fantastic at the time but im complascent about the risks....until it happens, i dunno , im struggling with carrying on punting because of the sti risks, i love a good gobble, i cant imagine a good punt without it


Offline som2083

ALL the fun for you, but your opinion isn't the same as every other punter  :hi:

I have no interest in kissing, but to other punters it is an essential.

I have no interest in reverse oral, but to other punters it is an essential.

He has essentially removed all of the STI risk and, for him, it's still fun. Good luck to him  :drinks:

You are right.

My best interesting is breast sucking, breast touching, my body been lick by WG and oral with condom

The biggest risk is breast leaking milk because I suck the breast very hard  :P

First time poster, long time punter (first punt 1995!).....

Was married for several years, and never felt guilty when punting.....got divorced, and then met woman of my dreams.....8 years younger, hot, and adores me......can I give up punting? It feels like some drug addiction......I've cut down dramatically but I'm still unable to go more than 5 weeks without straying......I never worried when I was married, as had the view that you only live once. Now, I hold the same view but can't imagine what she'd think if she found me out. Now I have so much more to lose.....the thrill of opening that door, and seeing a hot (and different) woman keeps me coming back for more! So yes, the worry is now worse than ever!

Offline robs one


I get scared shitless if i even feel the remotest twinge on my cock, im great at hiding this hobby from her but having owo is fantastic at the time but im complascent about the risks....until it happens, i dunno , im struggling with carrying on punting because of the sti risks, i love a good gobble, i cant imagine a good punt without it
My thought exactly  :drinks:

The moralist view, the point is you cant know how others think only how you see and think about this. Sure i am a selfish lying prick and have been to partners my whole adult life but that doesnt mean i dont love them.

For me now its easy, i punt just for sex and want and desire relationships for sex and crucially love. A case of wanting my cake and eating it.
My view wasn't actually concentrating on morals it was talking about emotions. I was also talking about being love rather than simply loving someone.
I am single now but have cheated in every relationship I have been in with WG's and normal affairs / one night stands. I have no morals when it comes to sex.
I also no from my own perspective that when I am in a relationship and things are fresh, sex is good and frequent and arguing is minimal I won't cheat. Once bitterness increases and sex decreases or gets boring I will start to wander.
But I know that once I start cheating that the relationship is on a downhill slope and that it will be over sooner or later. In my last relationship I left my phone on my bed on purpose with AW on the browser as she had just cheated on me.
Everyone is different I guess and punts for different reason so we think. But we all have one thing in common which is we want sex
And Vorian if you read this there is nothing morally wrong with paying for sex

I find it strange that you are trying to establish morale high ground on a punters forum. If you pay for sex you are no better or worse than the next bloke with his cock out and cash in his hand.
As explained to smiths my post wasn't about morals it was about emotions. I ain't got no morals I hate to say it I was banging an intern when my ex mrs was in labour many years ago.
I also don't think there is anything morally wrong about punting whether you are married or not.
I just think that the original post was cocky arrogant and annoying

I never punted when I was married or in a relationship, never felt the need to even though there was fuck all sex at the latter stages of my marriage! Now I'm single and can fuck whoever I want, so no guilt. A situation many of my married friends would be jealous of  :P

Offline CBPaul

Can't see how someone can be in love and cheat on their partner whether it's paid for or not! Part of being in love is trust and respect. Going behind someone's back is not being trustful it respectful. If it was really love it would be out in the open discussed and accepted and not done behind the "loved" ones back like a coward

Openly discussed and accepted ? Perhaps accepted by you but are you sure the one your love would accept it ?

If I went home tonight and told Mrs CBP not to call me tomorrow afternoon because I'll be busy banging a Polish girl in her early 20's and would like some peace and quiet it would certainly be openly discussed but it sure as hell wouldn't be accepted. If that makes me a coward so be it. Personally I think it makes me realistic and aware that everything that has been built over the last x years will come crashing down.

I draw a distinction between a loving marriage and no strings sex without emotional attachment. My lack of morals as far as this is concerned enable me to be a greedy sod who wants his cake and eat it. Would probably make me a total cunt in some peoples eyes but I'm fine with that.

Offline Sienna_Bronze

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To the poster who said it should be discussed, really?! I can just imagine me going home to my hypothetical OH and telling him how many fit guys I'd banged this month. Let's face it, to many people having sex, whether it is paid for or from a one night stand or an affair, is the greatest betrayal.

I cheated on my ex husband, i felt guilty but I had my reasons like many on this forum. He never found out till I told him, funnily enough he had been shagging girls behind my back too!
Banning reason: Trolling

I was thinking a long the lines that if the OH had quite clearly stated they didn't want to have sex anymore for whatever reason. You could say ok I respect you don't want sex with me but I am going to get it elsewhere. If they were fair and really loved you they shouldn't mind really.
If it's a case the OH doesn't shag enough to satisfy that appetite then a different issue all together

This is my own personal position ....a few weeks ago I had a heart to heart with Mrs Frenchie and I laid out a few thoughts about her
( and some of her friends ) attitude towards sex. At the end of the conversation she agreed that I was 98% right .

She hasn't got the slightest bit of sex drive in her body ..in her early fifties , it has completely disappeared . Whatever the reasons , it really boils down to the fact that she can't be bothered.  !!

I hate to say it but the only thing that would make me feel guilty would be if I passed on an STD (although I get  checked regularly ).......however, if it was just the fact that she found out about the punting I would 100% blame her ..This might sound harsh - but I've been banging my head against a brick wall for the last twenty years !!!!.....

The one bonus is that we can talk openly about things and I've been quite frank about it.. if she isn't interested in sex then a blow job or a decent handjob would go a long way to keeping me happy ..... but come on chaps --- most of them can't even be bothered to do that .

About eighteen months ago the frustration  started me punting . I wouldn't want to hurt my wife- but a little bit of me ( and this is being 100% honest ) feels that I'm getting my own back ...from comments on other postings there are others that feel like this.

So I do worry about my wife finding out ...but the worry is more how I would have to deal with my domestic circumstances than her finding out that I've been having GREAT sex with beautiful young girls .........all of us who punt way up the risks of being found out..but it is a risk that each of us ultimately accept ..otherwise we wouldn't do it !

Offline vorian

This is my own personal position ....a few weeks ago I had a heart to heart with Mrs Frenchie and I laid out a few thoughts about her
( and some of her friends ) attitude towards sex. At the end of the conversation she agreed that I was 98% right .

She hasn't got the slightest bit of sex drive in her body ..in her early fifties , it has completely disappeared . Whatever the reasons , it really boils down to the fact that she can't be bothered.  !!

I hate to say it but the only thing that would make me feel guilty would be if I passed on an STD (although I get  checked regularly ).......however, if it was just the fact that she found out about the punting I would 100% blame her ..This might sound harsh - but I've been banging my head against a brick wall for the last twenty years !!!!.....

The one bonus is that we can talk openly about things and I've been quite frank about it.. if she isn't interested in sex then a blow job or a decent handjob would go a long way to keeping me happy ..... but come on chaps --- most of them can't even be bothered to do that .

About eighteen months ago the frustration  started me punting . I wouldn't want to hurt my wife- but a little bit of me ( and this is being 100% honest ) feels that I'm getting my own back ...from comments on other postings there are others that feel like this.

So I do worry about my wife finding out ...but the worry is more how I would have to deal with my domestic circumstances than her finding out that I've been having GREAT sex with beautiful young girls .........all of us who punt way up the risks of being found out..but it is a risk that each of us ultimately accept ..otherwise we wouldn't do it !

Well put Frenchie.  :hi:

Just got to watch out for that EAS now.
Banning reason: Two faced - Slagging off UKP and it's membership using fake account

Offline CBPaul

This is my own personal position ....a few weeks ago I had a heart to heart with Mrs Frenchie and I laid out a few thoughts about her
( and some of her friends ) attitude towards sex. At the end of the conversation she agreed that I was 98% right .

She hasn't got the slightest bit of sex drive in her body ..in her early fifties , it has completely disappeared . Whatever the reasons , it really boils down to the fact that she can't be bothered.  !!

I hate to say it but the only thing that would make me feel guilty would be if I passed on an STD (although I get  checked regularly ).......however, if it was just the fact that she found out about the punting I would 100% blame her ..This might sound harsh - but I've been banging my head against a brick wall for the last twenty years !!!!.....

The one bonus is that we can talk openly about things and I've been quite frank about it.. if she isn't interested in sex then a blow job or a decent handjob would go a long way to keeping me happy ..... but come on chaps --- most of them can't even be bothered to do that .

About eighteen months ago the frustration  started me punting . I wouldn't want to hurt my wife- but a little bit of me ( and this is being 100% honest ) feels that I'm getting my own back ...from comments on other postings there are others that feel like this.

So I do worry about my wife finding out ...but the worry is more how I would have to deal with my domestic circumstances than her finding out that I've been having GREAT sex with beautiful young girls .........all of us who punt way up the risks of being found out..but it is a risk that each of us ultimately accept ..otherwise we wouldn't do it !

Yes, very well put. Dealing with the domestic situation particularly strikes a chord.

Offline CBPaul

I was thinking a long the lines that if the OH had quite clearly stated they didn't want to have sex anymore for whatever reason. You could say ok I respect you don't want sex with me but I am going to get it elsewhere. If they were fair and really loved you they shouldn't mind really.
If it's a case the OH doesn't shag enough to satisfy that appetite then a different issue all together

Unfortunately life ain't a simple as this.

Thanks, Frenchie; for your very illuminating post.  I used to have a very sanctimonious attitude towards married punters, "Oh no; I'd never punt if I were in a relationship."  [What a pompous arse I really can be!]

And part of me hopes that I never would - not just because, as I've said before on here, I'm a rotten liar and she'd find me out; but also because I hope that if I were in a relationship, I'd be "getting enough"  ;) that I wouldn't want to punt.

But the way you've expressed things above is the latest post I've read on this topic to remind me that life really isn't that simple.  Another punter on here has posted on other threads in the past that there's a sort of loyalty towards the partner you've been with for ages whose sex drive has become less than yours which means that punting is more or less essential in order to meet your needs.  [My words, not his; but I'm sure you get the drift.]

I don't want to put you on the spot, Frenchie, so don't answer this if it would make you uncomfortable; but I wonder if you feel that Mrs Frenchie might have twigged from that conversation the other week that you're a punter?

Offline Toshiba

Thanks, Frenchie; for your very illuminating post.  I used to have a very sanctimonious attitude towards married punters, "Oh no; I'd never punt if I were in a relationship."  [What a pompous arse I really can be!]

And part of me hopes that I never would - not just because, as I've said before on here, I'm a rotten liar and she'd find me out; but also because I hope that if I were in a relationship, I'd be "getting enough"  ;) that I wouldn't want to punt.

But the way you've expressed things above is the latest post I've read on this topic to remind me that life really isn't that simple.  Another punter on here has posted on other threads in the past that there's a sort of loyalty towards the partner you've been with for ages whose sex drive has become less than yours which means that punting is more or less essential in order to meet your needs.  [My words, not his; but I'm sure you get the drift.]

I don't want to put you on the spot, Frenchie, so don't answer this if it would make you uncomfortable; but I wonder if you feel that Mrs Frenchie might have twigged from that conversation the other week that you're a punter?


Im guessing most attached women would never dream of their partners being punters and i mean that

Like i say sti's is the only way id get found out, its the nightmare scenario for me

It has me on edge

This is my own personal position ....a few weeks ago I had a heart to heart with Mrs Frenchie and I laid out a few thoughts about her
( and some of her friends ) attitude towards sex. At the end of the conversation she agreed that I was 98% right .

She hasn't got the slightest bit of sex drive in her body ..in her early fifties , it has completely disappeared . Whatever the reasons , it really boils down to the fact that she can't be bothered.  !!

I hate to say it but the only thing that would make me feel guilty would be if I passed on an STD (although I get  checked regularly ).......however, if it was just the fact that she found out about the punting I would 100% blame her ..This might sound harsh - but I've been banging my head against a brick wall for the last twenty years !!!!.....

The one bonus is that we can talk openly about things and I've been quite frank about it.. if she isn't interested in sex then a blow job or a decent handjob would go a long way to keeping me happy ..... but come on chaps --- most of them can't even be bothered to do that .

About eighteen months ago the frustration  started me punting . I wouldn't want to hurt my wife- but a little bit of me ( and this is being 100% honest ) feels that I'm getting my own back ...from comments on other postings there are others that feel like this.

So I do worry about my wife finding out ...but the worry is more how I would have to deal with my domestic circumstances than her finding out that I've been having GREAT sex with beautiful young girls .........all of us who punt way up the risks of being found out..but it is a risk that each of us ultimately accept ..otherwise we wouldn't do it !

Frenchie - I'm with you - I only punt because I got fed up of asking my wife for sex and getting turned down. I'm slowly getting through a severe case of EAS - and I think that came about because I missed basic physical contact. I punt about once a week - how often do you reckon I should get checked for STIs?
« Last Edit: May 15, 2014, 11:30:35 PM by touch.and.go »

'I don't want to put you on the spot, Frenchie, so don't answer this if it would make you uncomfortable; but I wonder if you feel that Mrs Frenchie might have twigged from that conversation the other week that you're a punter?'

No  ...,no way.. ......you've got to bear in mind my circumstances.. I live in France and only punt when I visit the UK (usually by myself )
Mrs Frenchie hasn't got any worries about kids, money , job ......she is basically very happy and I think this is a lot of the problem..
COMPLACENCY !!!!!

I have no doubt that Mrs Frenchie loves me very much ..... we are , like a lot of couples , best friends in lots of ways ....like a lot of men
this is the one bugbear ...sex ! It doesn't help that years ago Mrs  Frenchie had a long list of 'likes' ..that coupled with everyone I knew
wanted to shag her.!!

Your question illustrates a 'get out clause ' (some hopes ! ) that I've got tucked away...Am I happy ...yes ...
Do I want another relationship.. NO!

So if everything is reasonably good ,....why would I throw it all away ....just because of lack of sex .....Having said that things have definitely changed in the last few years. A mate of mine is 64 and shags his way through  his 'Dateline' dates .

In another posting some months ago I related the story of my wife's friend in the UK some years ago . Thirtysomething , blonde , attractive , long legs ...husband a decent hardworking bloke , two kids etc .. etc ...
He met an old flame on the internet and pissed off with her. The females all got together 'The bastard '..' How could he do it!!'
'Fancy running off with someone else .. lowlife !! '  Etc.. etc...

Of course the truth eventually came out that the lovely looking wife hadn't had sex with him for THREE FUCKING YEARS !!!!

And they REALLY wonder why he pushed off ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Would he of stayed if he punted ????.... another discussion some other time I think  .

During my heart to heart with Mrs Frenchie I even told her of other mens experiences on this subject and directly qouted some things from this forum ! ( I had a small health scare recently and told her that I'd been on a men's health forum and there was a section about married sex lives )

Needless to say, it didn't do any good . I think this is the problem.....we've probably all tried our best.. nothing works .

A friend of mine (40's )who has a good looking wife and is a good looking chap himself is always moaning about the lack of interest .
He doesn't know I punt , but I couldn't resist saying ' -------- , - if you think ANYTHING is going to change in the next twenty years ..dream on !!!'......Maybe this is why the majority (?) of punters are past a certain age ?

Sorry to go off on a bit of a rant - but it's nice to share thoughts with like minded people.

Thanks for that, Frenchie; I really appreciate your frankness.

As I said earlier, your post and others from married punters on other threads over the last 16 - 17 months I've been a member on here have altered my views on this issue from black and white to [excuse me, I don't mean this like it'll appear!] shades of grey.

Roland D Hay

Yes, thanks Frenchie, it's very easy for people to be judgmental about punters and indeed, 20 years ago I can hear myself saying that I'd never stay in a sexless relationship and yet I did for quite a long time. Oddly, My own situation was a little different, my partner never ever instigated or initiated sex but never refused if I did. It all becomes or feels rather one sided and their lack of reciprocation starts to make you feel resentful, to the point where eventually I started not to initiate sex despite the fact that I wanted it. Life and relationships are complicated. Sure, we'd all like the perfect relationship with a perfect sex life but life's not so kind and some of us are just shit at relationships.


' I started not to initiate sex despite the fact that I wanted it. '

This is exactly how I felt ..and last September I took the decision that I would completely stop showing any interest in sex .

This is what prompted the heart to heart a few weeks ago ...... I kept going until the inevitable question was asked...
This gave me the opportunity to state my case ...

However NOTHING has changed. Without punting I couldn't have held out as long as I did . Thinking about it though I worked out that it was better to have good exciting sex  six or seven times a year or have lousy 'vanilla sex ' every two months at home .

I can really see other men withdrawing their  'services ' - in fact I'd like to see it happen more often  !!

Women have for years been withdrawing their  conjugal services ....it's about time the boot was on the other foot !  They don't want it - but don't like the thought that you don't either !!! Try it ...see what happens !
My domestic circumstances are such that there is no way I could be having an affair ( not that I want to ) and  I have a tight schedule when I'm in the UK staying with friends and relatives .. so it would not occur to Mrs Frenchie that I could be banging the arse off a beautiful young girl at 11 am in the morning

Because men always seem to be interested in sex women think that we are walking tripods who want to stick it anywhere we can..and phrases like ' Any hole is a goal' etc don't really help .

I've turned down sex a couple of times when I was young - just because I didn't like the girl .

I still believe that most men don't want SEX  .. they want LUST  !!!!!!! Also,  if  all we are  interested in  is the sex act , why do SO many people on this forum ask if a girl does DFK  etc... we know it's all acting.. but isn't it nice to feel wanted ?.. even if you are paying for it !!!

Offline vorian

' I started not to initiate sex despite the fact that I wanted it. '

This is exactly how I felt ..and last September I took the decision that I would completely stop showing any interest in sex .

This is what prompted the heart to heart a few weeks ago ...... I kept going until the inevitable question was asked...
This gave me the opportunity to state my case ...

However NOTHING has changed. Without punting I couldn't have held out as long as I did . Thinking about it though I worked out that it was better to have good exciting sex  six or seven times a year or have lousy 'vanilla sex ' every two months at home .

I can really see other men withdrawing their  'services ' - in fact I'd like to see it happen more often  !!

Women have for years been withdrawing their  conjugal services ....it's about time the boot was on the other foot !  They don't want it - but don't like the thought that you don't either !!! Try it ...see what happens !
My domestic circumstances are such that there is no way I could be having an affair ( not that I want to ) and  I have a tight schedule when I'm in the UK staying with friends and relatives .. so it would not occur to Mrs Frenchie that I could be banging the arse off a beautiful young girl at 11 am in the morning

Because men always seem to be interested in sex women think that we are walking tripods who want to stick it anywhere we can..and phrases like ' Any hole is a goal' etc don't really help .

I've turned down sex a couple of times when I was young - just because I didn't like the girl .

I still believe that most men don't want SEX  .. they want LUST  !!!!!!! Also,  if  all we are  interested in  is the sex act , why do SO many people on this forum ask if a girl does DFK  etc... we know it's all acting.. but isn't it nice to feel wanted ?.. even if you are paying for it !!!

Another excellent post, you are on a roll.  :hi:
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