LinkExternal Link/Members OnlyPreamble'Pre-lockdown punt'
Woke up amongst a tower of pizza boxes and coca cola cans, really need to clean my dingy bedsit. As I went for a shower I started to think about the disappointing punt that was
Dusky Hungarian skank Natasha I was not happy with how things had turned out. As I am unemployed and Jeremy Kyle is no longer on telly, I thought I would give either Kinky Ellie X or Hunny Lux a try today. After reading more reviews about Hunny than Ellie, I decided that the former would be receiving my donation in her mouth. Unfortunately I didn't have two weeks of ammo saved up in my machine gun but hey ho, I'd give her a, ahem shot anyway.
LocationGround floor flat near to station. Directs you to intercom and then gives flat number.
Cost60 that I will never get back.
CommsPrompt, abrupt one word answers. No 'babe' or 'xxx' etc but that's OK because women are toxic anyway.
GirlBetter looking than pictures. Younger looking also. Very kooky though, which is something nobody has pointed out yet. Describes herself as "Romanian", no mention of Hungary
Decent body, as others have already mentioned, not gym toned but still nice. I'd place her as size 10/12. Boobs are nice, big and perky, however perennially "sensitive" (you know what that means). Hygiene consisted of her wet wiping her punnani, classy.
The Meet
The story starts off with her buzzing me in, I walk over to the ground floor flat and the door opens magically and seemingly by itself.
Amazing technology in brothels nowadays! I think to myself. However I was soon proven wrong as 'Hunny' pops out from behind the door wearing a pink robe and shy smile. She studies my face closely as she shuts the door and a smile beams across a face. I use my telepathy to read her simple mind
Thank god! a handsome one! she thinks to herself. At this point I think the punt is going to be fantastic.
Into the room, which is decent spaced and has two beds, she shuts the door and stares intently at me, almost trying to figure me out. Then she smiles and walks up to me, crosses the line of personal space, I think she is going to kiss me but she just stares.
OK she's a bit weird I think to myself,
why didn't anyone mention this in one of her 2,536 reviews?. I hand over paperwork unprompted and make small talk "How is your day?", "Busy?" etc. I switch my attention off before she can even reply so can't relay what she said, her lips moved but no sound came out, as I had put her on mute lol.
"Let me see your dick". Suddenly she unmutes herself.
"What?" I ask, thinking I must have misheard her. She repeats the question. I ask why she wants to see? she just smiles. So I pull down my boxers and show her my 6 inch unerect weapon of mass destruction. She gasps and I pat her shoulder "It'll be OK". She then leaves the room and asks me to get undressed. I do as I'm told, she comes back and asks me to move all the stuff I put on the second bed because it is her bed that she sleeps on, we laugh. She then drops her robe in a kind of ta daaaaa moment, this makes me laugh, her kookiness is beginning to show. She then goes to get a condom and asks "Do you want sex?" as soon as the words leave her mouth she laughs and says "Of course you do". She asks if I want a rubber for oral, I say hell no!
She directs me to the main bed, it is very bouncy and squeaky, she apologises for this. Apparently it's new, bought it last week but it's already fucked.
She must have fucked 20,000 men in under a week if that is true I think to myself. I lay down and she looks deep into my blue eyes as she starts to spit on my dick, she then starts sucking fast, going midway, the cobra is awake, she is using both hands on the shaft, in the dim light I can see that her pupils are dilated, which probably means that she is impressed. She sucks for a while and I take occasionally breaks to stop me from shooting, she doesn't understand why the start/stop. I'm surprised that she doesn't understand. In between the pauses I try to kiss her boobs, I give insincere compliments "They're amazing" etc but it's still not enough. I am not allowed to suck on them as they are "sensitive". If the week old knackered bed is anything to go by I can see why they're sensitive...
I am getting bored now so romantically command "Let's fuck". She gets a condom and puts it in her mouth, then applies it expertly onto my third leg, has a bit of trouble rolling it down the shaft as it's so long. I pretend that I am impressed and she is the first WG that has ever done this. Before she can insist that I go on top I get up and motion for her to lie down, she smiles as if to say
thank you. She applies copious amounts of lube, I take this as a compliment. Now here is where the punt goes downhill, I try to put my dick in and before I can even make contact she says "I have been on holiday so I am very tight",
OK... i think to myself, I try to ease in and she is making all sorts of ugly faces. She is clearly not tight as the dick is going in no problem but she is not keen, I ask if she is OK? she keeps reassuring me that she is, whilst gurning. This is putting me off. We 'fuck' for around ten seconds but she won't stop with those stupid faces so I pull out. I tell her that I want to finish in her mouth, she looks relieved at not having to earn her money tonight.
I stand by the side of the bed and she gets down on her knees, she wet wipes me and then goes to down, gobbling me up, intense eye contact looking at me like I am her master. I am not feeling anything to be honest, it has been a very vanilla punt so far, with someone that wants to do the bare minimum. I close my eyes and think of my ex-girlfriend's sister, this seems to do the trick. I nut deep in Hunny's mouth, I don't have much to give as I had had a wank the day before but she is good, as she keeps sucking. She takes every single drop which instantly makes me think I should have visited her instead of Dusky Hungarian skank Natasha. She then spits it all out into a tissue and then proceeds to stand there staring at me getting dressed, like literally staring with a silly smile on her face. I feel as if she has not been socialised into society properly, maybe she is trying to be sultry? not sure, just comes across as fucking weird, if it were a guy doing this he would get arrested! She then tellingly starts apologizing for her lack of performance "I'm sorry, I was tired today, will you come back and see me?".
"Yes of course" I lie through my perfectly aligned bright white veneers.
"Next time I will wear a sexy outfit for you" she purrs, pointing to an array of old lingerie hanging lifelessly behind her door.
"Great" I say
Some pointless small talk as she is still staring at me and I'm out of the door.
I reflect on the punt on the way home, didn't go as well as I'd hoped but still way better than Dusky Hungarian skank Natasha. Does it deserve a negative though? No, I don't think so. Certainly not positive though as she didn't even take three inches during sex. Also I had gone with the intention of DFK but because I was just not attracted to her enough, as she was gurning her face off during sex, I did not try.
Not the worst but I will not be returning due to her kookiness and attraction not being there.
What does the future hold?
Kinky Ellie X I am coming for you, get the lube ready.
Topic: Kooky Hunny Lux - West Ham (Read 1206 times)