PatriciaMK

[Smoothballs]

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This actually took place last year. The review is a sort of penance.
Fancied a “mature woman” type. Quick trawl produced a few hits, opted for the one reasonably  close to where I was staying at the time.

Comms
Initial contact by phone, arranged time and date. All good to go

Venue
One of those endless meandering estates in MK. Mid terraced house. Inside Mrs Hinch would have a field day tidying up.

Looks
Opened door in a dressing gown, that had seen better days, as had her face. Age difficult to tell but about the same age as Methuselah.. I should of walked but since I was here and horny. I quickly changed from an hours booking to 15 mins

Action
Up to bedroom, bed just had a blanket on. She opened her dressing gown (wish she had not bothered) The action was none existent. Even though I tried missionary with my eyes closed I struggled, to sustain an erection the sight of her droopy breasts and body, plus her attitude did nader for me.
Got up went to bathroom, came back make excuse dressed and out.
Walking back to the car, wondering what possessed me. Note to self just walk next time.

Conclusion
Don’t like giving negative feedback, but as a provider. The amount of poetic license on her profile is outrageous.
I know we all have a few punts that go awry, well this was mine. A day I try and forget.

[scouting]

Crikey are you saying her body was worse than the profile pics? They're bad enough

[Smoothballs]

Yes, your absolutely right what was I thinking! To be fair the profile pictures at the time were a lot more flattering and obviously taken decades ago.
It is by far the worse punt I have ever had. I still have horrible flashbacks. The counselling helped!

[Flair99]

I had a simlarly horrendous meet with several years ago. To make matters worse I recall she had run out of condoms, so shouted to her daughter who was sat downstairs to pop to the shop to get her some!