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Author Topic: COLONIC IRRIGATION - Shit happens - Pre punt rituals.  (Read 4944 times)

Offline yorkshire123

If anything all it will do is cause you to get really constipated in the future.  I had it done a few times as was supposed to be really good for you.  Its not.  It removes all the bacteria that helps your waste break down and become soft so you end up badly constipated and either have to have it done again or end up at A&E having a manual evacuation and I promise you that it is not pleasant having that done.  Once all the good bacteria has been removed laxatives don't even work so manual evac is the only route to follow and having some young doc and a nurse with their fingers stretching your arse trying to dig as deep as they can is not a good way to spend five hours.

If it was good for you and really worked the NHS would offer it as it would be a cheap alternative for those who do suffer with bowel problems.  Stay away from gluten as much as possible as this will reduce the bloating and try to eat bran and plenty of dried fruit.  Bran can be sprinkled on anything as has no taste and is not only a lot cheaper but is a lot healthier for you too

How much did you charge for that Dani  ;)
Banning reason: Making false malicious allegations against admin

Offline SirFrank

I've been feeling really bloated so in a way it may be. Is one not amused?? :thumbsdown:

Try the dukan diet or simply cut out carbs for a few days
Banning reason: Shitstirring against admin on behalf of banned member

Well your Misses will not be happy but safety first :thumbsup:

Well, Pompoy, if it makes my missus happy to keep reminding me I'm full of shit, I'm happy to allow her that satisfaction. It's a win-win.  :)

Changing back to topic: what a grim job that must be to be rinsing the shit out of people all day  :(

Offline Dani

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How much did you charge for that Dani  ;)

No price would have been worth it believe me.  I unfortunately take certain tablets that cause severe constipation so unless I stay on top of it with dried fruit, tons of bran, staying away from potatoes pasta and bread I end up having to have it done as I use laxatives daily any way so if not on top of it I have problems. 
Also ensure you drink lots and lots of water as that also helps with having smooth full bowel movements.  I try to have 3 litres a day now (2 in winter) and this seems to work.  I stay away from coffee (not easy as a cappuccino addict) as well as fizzy drinks.

In reply to the other question YES you can buy gluten free bran, It is oat bran that is grown in fields kept away from wheat so no cross contamination

Why don't you just have done with it, and shove a cock up your arse. No need to be shy on here.  :hi:

I'm not shy at all and if you have a £160 I'm happy to use yours lol

No price would have been worth it believe me.  I unfortunately take certain tablets that cause severe constipation so unless I stay on top of it with dried fruit, tons of bran, staying away from potatoes pasta and bread I end up having to have it done as I use laxatives daily any way so if not on top of it I have problems. 
Also ensure you drink lots and lots of water as that also helps with having smooth full bowel movements.  I try to have 3 litres a day now (2 in winter) and this seems to work.  I stay away from coffee (not easy as a cappuccino addict) as well as fizzy drinks.

In reply to the other question YES you can buy gluten free bran, It is oat bran that is grown in fields kept away from wheat so no cross contamination

Thanks Dani. Can I not just come live with you for a month lol.

Offline inch

You're telling me WGs don't swill themselves out before a bit of A?!

Offline LL

If anything all it will do is cause you to get really constipated in the future.  I had it done a few times as was supposed to be really good for you.  Its not.  It removes all the bacteria that helps your waste break down and become soft so you end up badly constipated and either have to have it done again or end up at A&E having a manual evacuation and I promise you that it is not pleasant having that done.  Once all the good bacteria has been removed laxatives don't even work so manual evac is the only route to follow and having some young doc and a nurse with their fingers stretching your arse trying to dig as deep as they can is not a good way to spend five hours.

If it was good for you and really worked the NHS would offer it as it would be a cheap alternative for those who do suffer with bowel problems.  Stay away from gluten as much as possible as this will reduce the bloating and try to eat bran and plenty of dried fruit.  Bran can be sprinkled on anything as has no taste and is not only a lot cheaper but is a lot healthier for you too

Well I was about to tuck into a dinner of sausages and onion gravy.
But I think I'll skip it now.  Thanks Dani  ;)  :lol:

Offline dilettante

I've done it once - I was a bit disappointed as it didn't really do anything except make me feel like a guilty nappy-pooping baby while it was being done and put me off my booze afterwards.  The thing is, you read about encrustations of mucus and general muck lining the colon wall (you can google these too so they do exist), yet when you have an endoscopy you firstly dredge yourself out using a laxative, then apparently the surgeon can examine your clean-as-a-whistle colon - it don't add up.

I keep m'sel' reg'lar using chillies, lots of 'em, in fact I could be the one
Quote
... with bowels regular as the clock,
For they come alive
Every morning at five,
Though I don't wake till seven o'clock

Bran and gluten are different parts of the wheat grain, gluten is the 10 per cent protein contingent.

if it is to get rimmed, why not just wipe properly (cost, toilet paper0 and have a shower where you wash your anus with shower gel and soap (cost of shower, soap and shower gel) and dry off properly (cost of a towel)? itll be clean and I hope you have the items necessary already. no downside. This butthole fumigation or whatever sounds unnecessary and unwise.

Offline billyjo

Just the thought of the tube they stick up your anus having previously been inserted in a few hundred/thousand other anuses makes this procedure a big no for me.

I usually eat in excess of the recommended 5 fruit and veg per day and never get any constipation issues.

Try the dukan diet or simply cut out carbs for a few days

Sage words of advice, as ever, SirFrank!

either way Ill read the review. Id love to see the WGs notes after the fact lol. blow dried hair with a hint of je sais quoi

Offline dilettante

Quote
Just the thought of the tube they stick up your anus having previously been inserted in a few hundred/thousand other anuses makes this procedure a big no for me.
Just to put the record straight - they use a new tip for each patient.

Offline billyjo

Just to put the record straight - they use a new tip for each patient.

Thanks, for some reason I thought they used the same one each time just giving it a clean between patients.

a quick spit clean or a wet wipe darlink

jcdmj12

Colonic Irrigation is a scam, and the claim of built up shit is exactly that, shit.

Your colon isn't like a plastic waste pipe that stuff gets stuck to over time.  It's made up of a lining of cells that are constantly dying off and regrowing (like most of the rest of you).  The average epithelial (lining) cell in the gut lives for about 3 days, so you have a totally new colon lining around twice a week.   As Dani says, you'll just wash out your commensal gut bacteria which do a lot of your digestive work for you. 

If you're feeling bloated, try cutting out wheat and dairy for a few weeks, you may well have a dietary intolerance. 
« Last Edit: May 03, 2014, 11:21:06 PM by jcdmj12 »

Ok guys strangely has it I did not go for a colonic yesterday or see a WG. I however got a bootie call last night then woke with serious tummy pains spending an hour on the loo. I think it was some dodgy salsa I ate.

So I actually got both for free it turns out lol.

I will be taking Sir Franks advice cutting out carbs for a couple of days.


I will be taking Sir Franks advice cutting out carbs for a couple of days.

Good guides to carb free eating are Waist Disposal and also Escape the Diet Trap, both by Dr John Briffa; find bargain copies at www.bookfinder.com and read more at www.drbriffa.com

There is much less of me than there used to be after cutting out carbs not for a couple of days but a couple of years and I feel good on it.
« Last Edit: May 04, 2014, 10:02:32 PM by Horizontal pleasures »

Anyway you lot. I was wondering if you had any Pre Punt rituals. (I don't mean sacrificing a chicken or such like.)

:)

Anyway you lot. I was wondering if you had any Pre Punt rituals. (I don't mean sacrificing a chicken or such like.)

:)

I wash my cock.

I wash my cock.

I check I have enough dosh and buy some cheap fruits or choc. I take a piss and be sure my flies will open.

Hahaha just read these again and wet myself  :lol:

Offline cylon

Prunes!! Apparently there's something in them that softens shit. I have about six with a bowl of oats plus a handful of raisins. The only thing is when you've got to go you really have got to go. Regular as clock work at ten in the morning I'm legging it up the stairs frantically ripping my pants off.



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