My personal favourite `worst thing' was a WG screaming "NOOOOO!" in my ear when I came a bit early and she felt me go soft, but later made up for that (and "You're not hard enough for my bum I'm sorry" - anal fail number 2) by saying "Leave it in for a bit" and "I'd bloody love to have you as my boyfriend I would"
. She just really loved sex as she told me often. A different WG (the madam or head WG in charge of the premises) kept saying "are you two done yet?", "my client has left his hat in the bathroom" and "my client is arriving soon" and actually came in our room at one point all the way through that punt lol. Surreal. Good thing it was cheap. They should really set up a second bedroom as they do get busy.
"It's nearly time to put your clothes back on". The unfortunate downside to being expertly kept on edge with a slow BJ for half an hour is that after she's nattered away at the start of the punt for a few minutes there's no time left to fuck.
"RO is one of my extras" (didn't know any other way to get her wet because she didn't allow fingering and she wasn't really into foreplay/kissing as much as I was) "I'll give you £20 back if we can end this half an hour early" "I forgot to tell you about cum limits didn't I?" rounded it all off with "you're not going to leave me negative feedback are you" after she wasn't enjoying my cock very much (I was being gentle but she wanted it to end quicker) but shortly afterwards insisted "You just concentrate on coming" and later on relaxed properly and said "fuck me harder"
. She'd had a rough time with a twat of a punter before who hurt her inside her pussy with sharp finger nails but I'd have preferred to have been told that in advance and would happily have done without the expensive headfuck and postponed until she felt better.
"You're not hard enough, we should've tried this first" (i.e. before she sucked me off to completion, anal fail number 1).
"You're not going to come are you love?" Not the best way to end the hour, if you've had enough of me darling, then just say.
"I'm stuck on the tube, I'm really sorry but I'm going to have to cancel" That'll teach me to give more than a day's notice next time. Managed to see the next girl the same day though instead despite me not booking her that morning:
Whatever the Hungarian for "Ew" is (looking at me pull my foreskin back up post coitally) "I'm not comfortable with that" (hugging - fair enough I suppose she was a star in all other respects). Another WG in a room next door was screaming while being banged harder than I was fucking my punt at the time. Very rude of her to show me up like that whoever she was (still haven't found out) but it didn't put me off.
Overnight fail: On first seeing me in my car at the appointed time after dark and quiet place waiting to see if the booked lady would arrive or if I'd be robbed "You're not shy are you? I don't do shy". "I'm going to have a shower" "Lets watch some telly" "You're not going ot hurt me are you?" On seeing my cock. It was said jokingly and it's kind of a compliment but I don't want to be made to feel like a rapist. "I'm sorry I'm really tired I need to go to sleep" (she'd seen 6 other blokes that day lol - super trooper) "I don't like being touched or held while I'm asleep" then at 4.30 am after a coughing fit "You're going to have to take me home, I need my asthma medicine" or something. I did indeed take her back home poor thing. I was a bit disappointed obviously (especially as I told her not to pick that day for our booking if she thought she'd be tired) but she was a lovely woman and a really nice shag (while I lasted). Also I'm not into keeping WGs hostage and I don't want one to die on me leaving me having to explain to the police why there's a dead hooker in my hotel room at my age. Turned out to be not so much the girl friend experience but the married with two kids experience.
"I think you should try this position with someone thinner" Some side on facing each other body knot thing my imagination thought would be a good idea at the time. Poor girl, but it's good to know her limits.
Two days ago: "I'd rather you didn't book that unnamed cheap hotel, I kind of work there" made me crack up.
