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Author Topic: Worst thing a WG ever said to you  (Read 14181 times)

jcdmj12

"Don't pull my hair as I have to go home to my husband after and I don't want him to find out what I do".

Offline charley11

So many crap things come to mind, such as

- you can only do two positions
- can you put this on, I dont know how to (handing me a horribly thick super-strength condom that looked like a bin bag)
- this flat is really expensive and I dont live here I have another place to pay rent on blah blah blah (some fucking idiotic Romanian who drones on about money and manages to make less money here than doing bugger all back home)
- wait here I have to go and buy some condoms I've run out

then there's the really dumb (if enthusiatic) effort at mid punt chat
- do you own a lot of shirts?


Offline Nhsi

How did you interpret "spunk tastes like shit" from her saying "strong tasting"?

Plus, as others have said, pineapple does have an effect. Probably more so if you drink pineapple juice and water fairly often for a day or two before you cum, but yes, fairly true.

She said it was thick and tasted strong.. The stronger sperm tastes the worst it tastes, surely.. So how could I interpret that any other way!?

Dont worry your just anxious ..After I went soft and failed to pop.

oh and your not the first of the day , Steve2 left 10 minutes ago

First punt of the day, about 9am before my work.
Me: What's that noise?
She: The baby has woken up and climbed out of his cot. Don't worry, there is a gate on the bedroom door.

Jenny of Aylesbury, long ago 'retired' she of hour-glass figure with 42" bust and hips and small waist, never forgot her.

1: "Come on then, get your little thing out" - Heard this on my second and last visit to Ericka69. Now granted I'm no John Holmes but last time I checked my "little thing" was standing proud at almost 7 inches, pretty sure it hasn't shrank and is slightly above average so I'm hardly Max fucking Clifford either. Regardless, that's not what you want to hear when you're about to bang a lass.

2: "I don't think he wants to cum" - Said after she had spent the past 20 minutes chowing on my cock.

1. "You're not going to kill me are you ?"

2. Her - "I don't sit up straight when I'm on top as I look fat"
    Me - " I can see why"

3. Her - "I don't do doggy as the last guy I did it with kept pulling the rubber off"
    Me - "I'll be quick"
    Her - "You already have been"
   

Roland D Hay

The one that sticks in my mind was from Busty Demi of Coventry who in an angry voice said to me, 'you're deliberately trying not to come.'  Indeed I was; it was a battle of wills, her trying to shorten my hour and me resisting her efforts, she lost  :lol:

Offline CBPaul

A couple from my street punting days.

Her. Don't worry I'm clean, I just got out of prison.
Me. Oh, er, what were you in for ? (Couldn't think of anything else to say and was bollock naked from the waste down)
Her. GBH, I stabbed a punter because he was rough. I always carry a knife.

One night a very nice looking prossie got out of a car driven by an old bloke. She stood out as she was fairly young, slim and hot as hell. Picked her up, followed directions, checked all was safe on the way and got told to park in front of a particular garage. Turns out it was her 'uncles' garage and he watched out the upstairs window to 'make sure nothing dodgy is happening' - like me between her legs banging the shit out of his niece then. Finished the deed, drove her back and the old geezer was still there. Commented that he was back for more and she said 'no, it's my granddad'. Nice to support small family businesses.

The risks I used to take  :scare:.

Curious6705

Just "no" - "no" you can't touch me there, "no" I won't touch you there, "no" I don't do that - even though I said I do / I did it last time.

Probably the worst ever thing said was from "Lacey Busty32gg" - looked good on profile and reveiws, started on me as soon as I stepped into the apartment: very loud and aggressive, shouting "I don't want to see you get out - Get out, it is my body I can see who I want. Get out or I will call the Police!!"  - I could have managed the police but miss a punt!! Still pretty pissed off......

Then of course the Romanians... "You finish only one cum", "No kissing, no touching, you want fuck of not!", "She not here you have me", "Condom not fit, no fuck!"...

 :angry:

Offline Nhsi

A couple from my street punting days.

Her. Don't worry I'm clean, I just got out of prison.
Me. Oh, er, what were you in for ? (Couldn't think of anything else to say and was bollock naked from the waste down)
Her. GBH, I stabbed a punter because he was rough. I always carry a knife.

One night a very nice looking prossie got out of a car driven by an old bloke. She stood out as she was fairly young, slim and hot as hell. Picked her up, followed directions, checked all was safe on the way and got told to park in front of a particular garage. Turns out it was her 'uncles' garage and he watched out the upstairs window to 'make sure nothing dodgy is happening' - like me between her legs banging the shit out of his niece then. Finished the deed, drove her back and the old geezer was still there. Commented that he was back for more and she said 'no, it's my granddad'. Nice to support small family businesses.

The risks I used to take  :scare:.

The second one - you're joking?

Offline CBPaul

The second one - you're joking?

Nope. No joke.

And another one.... a SG I'd picked up once before offered to do the business in a port-a-loo opposite Ipswich Town FC, wasn't keen in the first place but when she said 'we'll have to wait 5 minutes because the last blokes still in there, he should be out soon' I opted for my nice warm car.   

Offline socks

Nope. No joke.

And another one.... a SG I'd picked up once before offered to do the business in a port-a-loo opposite Ipswich Town FC, wasn't keen in the first place but when she said 'we'll have to wait 5 minutes because the last blokes still in there, he should be out soon' I opted for my nice warm car.
never mind the situation, feel the cliche! Next you'll be telling me there was a row of bin men waiting their turn, while singing joyous songs about Norwich being relegated and how 1981 wasn't really that long ago!!!

Offline cunnyhunt

Nope. No joke.

And another one.... a SG I'd picked up once before offered to do the business in a port-a-loo opposite Ipswich Town FC, wasn't keen in the first place but when she said 'we'll have to wait 5 minutes because the last blokes still in there, he should be out soon' I opted for my nice warm car.

Was that at Incall rate ? and did she charge for your car being an outcall ?

Saw a couple in London shagging in a portable toilet one time, it was moving in all directions as it was on uneven ground  :lol:

Offline CBPaul

never mind the situation, feel the cliche! Next you'll be telling me there was a row of bin men waiting their turn, while singing joyous songs about Norwich being relegated and how 1981 wasn't really that long ago!!!

 :lol: The bloke in the bog may have been lamenting something, he was bloody ages. Didn't even realize she'd had company until she told me, just thought she'd gone to powder her nose  :D His bike leaning against the side of it should have told me something though.

Offline cunnyhunt

His bike leaning against the side of it should have told me something though.

My friend says - was that his girlfriend ?

Offline CBPaul

My friend says - was that his girlfriend ?

 :lol:

That or the next prossie waiting in line to give service in the little blue fiber glass hut. Not much room in them, I had visions of the two of them banging away and it falling over, prossie and client come rolling out the door.

Offline cunnyhunt

:lol:

That or the next prossie waiting in line to give service in the little blue fiber glass hut. Not much room in them, I had visions of the two of them banging away and it falling over, prossie and client come rolling out the door.

I am told they are called "A Turdis"

The fucking shit I learn here each day  :scare:

Offline oohisay

Mid stroke, 'you're wife should take care of you more in the bedroom'.
Kind of put an end to things.....

I am told they are called "A Turdis"

The fucking shit I learn here each day  :scare:

They're called "Thunderboxes" in the South West  :lol:

Offline CBPaul

They're called "Thunderboxes" in the South West  :lol:

Turdis and Thunderboxes. Love 'em. That's another laugh I've had to explain away ! :lol:

Offline agent47

You've got 5 minutes left babe  :scare:  Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!

Offline waxman

WG says "too big, too big" even when a lot of lube has been applied & is not tight.

Offline vorian

You don't mind if Abdul joins in do you?  :scare:
Banning reason: Two faced - Slagging off UKP and it's membership using fake account


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