A couple from my street punting days.
Her. Don't worry I'm clean, I just got out of prison.
Me. Oh, er, what were you in for ? (Couldn't think of anything else to say and was bollock naked from the waste down)
Her. GBH, I stabbed a punter because he was rough. I always carry a knife.
One night a very nice looking prossie got out of a car driven by an old bloke. She stood out as she was fairly young, slim and hot as hell. Picked her up, followed directions, checked all was safe on the way and got told to park in front of a particular garage. Turns out it was her 'uncles' garage and he watched out the upstairs window to 'make sure nothing dodgy is happening' - like me between her legs banging the shit out of his niece then. Finished the deed, drove her back and the old geezer was still there. Commented that he was back for more and she said 'no, it's my granddad'. Nice to support small family businesses.
The risks I used to take