When you stand outside the door of the Escort you're meant to see in 2 minutes time, and you're brain tells you it's a bad idea, listen to it - i didn't.
Gaffs
X - Not listening to myself when i had the chance.
X - Spending £80 quid on what could be decribed as the worst sexual experience i've ever had.
The Mission
I entered her place with the alarm bells ringing knowing this was a stupid thing to do. Initially, to be fair, i wasn't actually put off. She had a great body, she was aging but i was up for a bit of milf, she had a nice tidy flat; all in all i was like 'fine, this could be fun' - as soon as she opened her gob i knew i was wrong. She spent the first 3 or 4 minutes telling me she had stubbed her toe recently on the edge of the kitchen cabinet - literally showing me where. Then when i was undressing she told me a riveting story about her getting jumped somewhere in town and getting her money robbed off of her. I honestly always try to listen and act interested so that i can at least get them on side and get a better deal out of the time. So i let her carry on a little; it just makes sense. At this point though, i noticed she was stumbling over her words; she seemed tipsy or high- ether or and my alarms started going again.
She then climbed onto the bed; she told me she had been voted best escort 3 times now, and the last one was this year. Sure, okay. Gives me the weakest of pecks and went down to the old chaps. It was literally like watching an orca try to clear a paper jam. She fumbled a semi hard cock badly for 2 or 3 minutes - sucking it awkwardly in between halfhearted wanks. She then moaned that i wasn't hard enough, and that her arms we're aching. Instead of then putting in some effort, she lent back, asked me to wank it while she played with herself with clearly fake moans. I then got semi hard again by my own efforts and asked her to take over - she did so and the old chap went down again because she was just downright awful at it. This went back and forwards a few times - her moaning i wasn't hard and me carefully cajoling her into actually doing something.
Eventually either through sheer boredom or just trying to get me out quickly, between some more moaning and complaining about arms, hands, mouth and a semi hard cock she actually puts .9% more effort in, enough to get me hard. I literally forced it out, finishing in her mouth with steady wanks. God knows what i cummed out because she went to the bathroom with a mouth like she'd just swallowed a wasp and hacked it all up into the toilet with the same force as if she was having a fucking hernia. I actually asked if she was alright. By the time she had come back i was dressed and ready to bounce - bugger staying here for another minute.
Got my skates on and got the fuck out of there - furious with myself. I literally wished on the long walk home that i had been the one to stub my toe instead of her - i wouldn't have been able to walk there.
I know what you're going to stay - should have walked. But I'm too shy for that shit - and i know its a mistake you can't make in this game.
My plan B was younger, hotter and even though she would have been just as inclined not to have me there over having say, a proper job not selling her body, i'm sure as shit that it would have been better.
ProsUnlike the previous reviews, i actually didn't find her unattractive. Shes 52 (or so she says) so what do you expect?
Had she been bloody coherant she had loads of portential
Great body and actually really soft skin.
ConsPissed as a fart, high on crack, smoking the old green weed; whatever it was, she was fucked.
Had to get myself hard because she couldn't.
Kept gabbering on 'like an old woman'.
Her arms ached, her mouth clogged up and she kept telling me my cock was soft and dry...okay? Do something about it then.
Let me wank myself off for 3 or 4 minutes to get it hard for her....if she had just done it herself correctly i would have been hard.
**Don't Bloody Visit**
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Topic: Sophie Milf 52 (Hideous, Horrific, Horrendous - and all the other H's) Reading (Read 6901 times)