Author Topic: Lexi of Allure, In-Call Byker  (Read 5190 times)

Offline Sar-Major

Well it seems the snake was on a roll following “Lock-Down”, and was keen to make up for lost time. So it seems more “Site Visits” were required to aid the snakes needs… :rolleyes:  It was a “Hard Decision” whether to go for a well established lady or a new and possibly up and cummin star.  So I decided just to go with the flow when ladies on my list were available, so the next one available was Lexi of Allure, with no photos and no reviews on here I asked Dawn the call handler, on the phones for some “Insight” about her, which was all positive so I decided to TOFTT.  The booking process was “Easy Peasy” again with Dawn on the phone, all sorted in minutes, and I confirmed on the morning of the booking.

1 Hr In-call @£110       External Link/Members Only

As per normal, I made my way to the Byker flat and a quick phone call when I was parked up a couple of minutes away to say I was there, told just to head around as she was ready,  :yahoo: arrived at the allotted time and let in by Lexi. Again NO dress requests were made so Lexi was behind the door in some nice black lingerie, a little chat and snog and I was following her cute ass upstairs. I would say that her profile stats are pretty much spot on. We chatted, and snogged some more. I was offered a shower, I told her I’d just had one and we headed off to the bedroom. Once in the bedroom we were on the bed snogging and I pushed my hand inside her knickers, and found an “Exceedingly Moist Twat” Now if Mr. Kipling had made “Wet Pussy” he’d have been proud of this one… :D  I was flicking and rubbing her clit before slipping a finger inside, and I casually asked if she’d ever “Squirted” before, Oh Yes but guys need to know what they’re doing she replied.  :rolleyes:   We eventually got our kit off, and back onto the bed and I went straight down onto her wet twat, I couldn’t fault her hygiene as it was spot on. When I was fingering her earlier, I thought she’d been putting “Lube” on her fanny, but boy I was wrong, she was “Au Natural”  :thumbsup:  and she tasted awesomely sweet. It didn’t take long for the “Evil Tongue” to work its business, and as Lexi came she “Squirted” straight into my face the horny fucker. So I slipped two fingers inside her whilst still licking her clit and she went “Berserk” on the bed “Squirting” like there was no tomorrow. I apologized for not being any good at licking pussy, I was told I was “Lying Old Bastard”.  :unknown:  So it was her turn to head south and repay the favour. Lexi’s cock swallowing skills were up there with the best of them; including licking and sucking my balls, there was plenty eye contact from her also. I pulled her up for a snog then knelt beside her head so she could swallow the snake again as I fingered her hole and massaged her G-Spot until she was “Gushing” for the Toon.

It was time for the Mac and she climbed on top and was doing some lovely “Squat Thrusts” on the snake, and boy what a sight that was, well it didn’t take her long before she came again and I could feel her warm squirt juice trickling around my balls.  :yahoo:  Lexi was still riding away enjoying the snake. As I started to move, she said where are you going? I’m just getting comfortable I replied, and before she knew it, I’d moved her and I was in very deep and that look on her face spoke a thousand words. Followed by “Fuck, that’s well Inside”… :wackogirl: I replied “Really” and gave a little grin; we banged away for a wee while in this position, before changing to reverse cowgirl, Mish, Spoons, and then Doggy. I was nearing the PONR and I told her I was on the verge of cumming. She moved forward and the snake was out of her nest, I want all you’re “Man Juice” she said pushing me onto my back and pulling the Mac off. She stated to devour the snake until I was at the PONR again, and I erupted all the snake venom into her mouth which she greedily swallowed, and kept on sucking like an out of control “Dyson” until every last drop was gone and the snakes heed was “Tingling Like Fuck”. She climbed back onto the bed and we cuddled and chatted for a while, and I slipped her a couple of fingers and made her “Gush” again before having a shower.

After my quick shower, the beer vouchers handed over, and a good bye snog with Sexy Lexi, I was away with another spring in me step and a “Happy Snake” ………… 

Another hidden gem this one, and would I go back.     OH YES!!!

 :hi: :hi:


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Offline MME

Great review Sarg, looks like you are getting back into the swing of things. Personally, I'd never, ever make a booking with no photos on display so it's appreciated you TOFTT.

I imagine the agency just haven't managed to get any photos of her yet - What would you say she looked like then facially?

Online daviemac

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Cheers for the review S-M, yet another one to add to the ever growing hotlist.

Offline Sar-Major

Great review Sarg, looks like you are getting back into the swing of things. Personally, I'd never, ever make a booking with no photos on display so it's appreciated you TOFTT.

I imagine the agency just haven't managed to get any photos of her yet - What would you say she looked like then facially?

I asked questions about her, seeing as I'm a well known user of a few agencies, so I tend to get a straight answer to my questions.   :cool:

Just looked at their website, and it says on the availability page "Photo Shoot" on a couple of days this week, so she might have some pics up soon.  :thumbsup:

As for her face I'd say she was quite pretty IMHO, and as in life everyones opinions differ.  :rolleyes:

 :hi: :hi:
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Offline Tyne-bridge


Offline OscarC

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Cheers, sounds great. Hopefully will catch up with her on an incall day!

Offline tynetunnel

Nice one SM, you really are back in the game now, with your “boots on the ground”! Both you and that “snake” of yours!  :thumbsup:

Offline FLYING BLUE

Glad to hear it was a good one SM :thumbsup:

Online Name Not Found

I've tried so hard to read your reviews mate and to try and get something out of them, but as far as I can tell, every single one is an almost identical, wildly exaggerated, review of yourself. I appreciate you have a following on here that obviously like your style, but I would find your reviews much more readable if you spend less time telling us what a great shag you are and spent more time writing about the girl.

I'm not expecting you to change, just giving you some feedback. Take it or leave it. Keep enjoying the hobby  :thumbsup:

Online northface

I've tried so hard to read your reviews mate and to try and get something out of them, but as far as I can tell, every single one is an almost identical, wildly exaggerated, review of yourself. I appreciate you have a following on here that obviously like your style, but I would find your reviews much more readable if you spend less time telling us what a great shag you are and spent more time writing about the girl.

I'm not expecting you to change, just giving you some feedback. Take it or leave it. Keep enjoying the hobby  :thumbsup:

I find his posts more than informative and just wished he punted around my area as it would give me a different insight into the SP's around Teeside.
I as well as many others just follow a simple format when reviewing which does not always give a feel to the punt as SM's does.

Online Name Not Found

I as well as many others just follow a simple format when reviewing which does not always give a feel to the punt as SM's does.

I guess that depends on whether you believe his reviews are fact or fiction. I know which way I'm leaning  :lol:

Offline Third Man

I've tried so hard to read your reviews mate and to try and get something out of them, but as far as I can tell, every single one is an almost identical, wildly exaggerated, review of yourself. I appreciate you have a following on here that obviously like your style, but I would find your reviews much more readable if you spend less time telling us what a great shag you are and spent more time writing about the girl.

I'm not expecting you to change, just giving you some feedback. Take it or leave it. Keep enjoying the hobby  :thumbsup:
SM is a long standing and well respected member. Personally I love his way of writing and look forward to his reviews.

Offline FLYING BLUE

SM is a long standing and well respected member. Personally I love his way of writing and look forward to his reviews.

Agreed, 100% :thumbsup:

Offline FLYING BLUE

I guess that depends on whether you believe his reviews are fact or fiction. I know which way I'm leaning  :lol:

If you don't like his reviews (or anyone else's for that matter), you don't have to read them - personally, I think your original post is out of order.

« Last Edit: September 09, 2020, 10:59:24 am by FLYING BLUE »

Offline Sar-Major

I guess that depends on whether you believe his reviews are fact or fiction. I know which way I'm leaning  :lol:

Many thanks for your input, but as NF said there is plenty of “Information” on the ladies in the reviews I write, if you’d been bothered to read them properly.

Your first post on this review was very mild as to what I was expecting; as it was aimed as to have a back handed slap at me, in a not to offensive way. Then after your second post you’re starting to show your true colours now. Just like you’ve done on UKE in the past.

I’ve been expecting you showing you hand on here for quite a while, and I probably can’t prove it. But I recon your “Barry the Bullshiter” from UKE, and I’m sorry to say your “Bullying Ways” won’t work on here, Little Boy.

To be quite blunt about it I couldn’t give a “Fuck about what You Think”

 :hi: :hi:
Banned reason: Fantasy reviews. Using UKP name to push boundaries and attempt bareback & stalker
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Offline Sar-Major

Cheers, sounds great. Hopefully will catch up with her on an incall day!

She'll be well worth the wait Oscar, she's a right little "Hottie"  :thumbsup:

 :hi: :hi:
Banned reason: Fantasy reviews. Using UKP name to push boundaries and attempt bareback & stalker
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Offline Weatherman21

I concur with FB if you don’t like the SM’s reviews don’t read them!

Offline Busterblue

I'm not expecting you to change, just giving you some feedback. Take it or leave it. Keep enjoying the hobby  :thumbsup:/b]

If you're not expecting him to change then why bother leaving the feedback unless you are trying to belittle him!.

If you don't like his or anybody else's style of writing then
just make a note of the rating given, i.e positive, negative or neutral and don't read the content.

Your kind of negative comments just puts others off leaving feedback.

Online Name Not Found

First off; I've never been on UKE and I have no idea who Barry is. If you were expecting something from him, I'm afraid I'll have to disappoint you.  I've been warned on DMs from other members that I would be jumped on by a gang of SM's mates, so this will be my last comment on the matter. The reaction to what I would regard as fairly mild criticism is quite intriguing.

I was merely pointing out that I don't find his tales of constantly squirting, sexually-stunned women littered all over the Nort East credible. If they work for you, that's fine. I don't find them helpful. I read them occasionally to see if they might offer some insight, but I don't get it.

I enjoy punting in the NE. The agencies are outstanding and I find the girls are of a consistently high standard. I also find almost all the reviewers to be good, and helpful. I plan to continue to enjoy it and to take what I can from the good reviews and contribute where possible to help out fellow punters.

 :thumbsup:




« Last Edit: September 09, 2020, 12:03:38 pm by Name Not Found »

Offline Busterblue

I've been warned on DMs from other members that I would be jumped on by a gang of SM's mates

I for one have no association with SM, I just found your comment unduly harsh.
I look forward to your future reviews   :hi:

Offline tynetunnel

I've been warned on DMs from other members that I would be jumped on by a gang of SM's mates

I for one have no association with SM, I just found your comment unduly harsh.
I look forward to your future reviews   :hi:

I’m guessing that the first line of your post was to have been a quote, as you have attempted unsuccessfully to bold this line?

Offline Busterblue

Yes sorry, thought I had put it in bold then after posting realised it hadn't come out that way.

Offline danny.odanny1972

Whenever I check in on the site and I see the SM has left a review i'm always pleased.

His style of telling the tale is both informative and entertaining and I for one think its great.

Some reviews can be informative without providing an insight into the SPs character, SM's always have that element and feeling of what happens in his punts rather than just the bare bones.

We're all entitled to our views but I hope he doesnt change his reporting style one bit. And for the record, I'm not and never have been in anyone's gang.

Offline bushman

Whenever I check in on the site and I see the SM has left a review i'm always pleased.

His style of telling the tale is both informative and entertaining and I for one think its great.

Some reviews can be informative without providing an insight into the SPs character, SM's always have that element and feeling of what happens in his punts rather than just the bare bones.

We're all entitled to our views but I hope he doesnt change his reporting style one bit. And for the record, I'm not and never have been in anyone's gang.
You are lying, you have been in your own gang since joining. Only decided to contribute positively today with your review. :hi:

Offline FLYING BLUE


I've been warned on DMs from other members that I would be jumped on by a gang of SM's mates, so this will be my last comment on the matter. The reaction to what I would regard as fairly mild criticism is quite intriguing.


That admission in itself, paints a sorry picture does it not? :rolleyes:
« Last Edit: September 09, 2020, 04:55:43 pm by FLYING BLUE »

Online Name Not Found

That admission in itself, paints a sorry picture does it not? :rolleyes:

Again, hopefully, my final contribution to the discussion but, just to clarify and counter the suggestion from FB; I was warned after I made the original post, not before.

I trust that clears things up. Happy punting  :hi:

Online northface

First off; I've never been on UKE and I have no idea who Barry is. If you were expecting something from him, I'm afraid I'll have to disappoint you. I've been warned on DMs from other members that I would be jumped on by a gang of SM's mates, so this will be my last comment on the matter. The reaction to what I would regard as fairly mild criticism is quite intriguing.


If you think you have been jumped upon by these comments you must be very sensitive.

Offline FLYING BLUE

Again, hopefully, my final contribution to the discussion but, just to clarify and counter the suggestion from FB; I was warned after I made the original post, not before.

I trust that clears things up. Happy punting  :hi:

Really not wishing to drag this out any longer than it needs to be and, No response needed Mr NameNotFound - I did not suggest you were warned prior to the post - How would that even be possible? :unknown:
It was abundantly clear that you would have been sent the PM's after people had read your original post

Offline @Allure

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Such a shame to have all this carry on below a ladies review

Be ashamed of yourselves gentlemen 
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Online daviemac

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Albert Einstein said the definition of insanity is doing something over and over again and expecting a different result.

It seems to happen quite a lot on here. people repeatedly read threads all of a similar vein and when the content / style doesn't change post complaints about them. It defies logic.

My answer is the same every time, if it doesn't interest you don't read it.


Offline FLYING BLUE

Such a shame to have all this carry on below a ladies review

Be ashamed of yourselves gentlemen

I agree Alli, and as one of the main respondents, I will add no more to this thread.

Offline teessidelad27

Cheers for the review SM having to head up further North soon so she's deffo on the to do list

Online waynekerr600

Well it seems the snake was on a roll

Thanks for the review SM.

I presume the snake was on a (Greggs) sausage roll?

Online waynekerr600

I concur with FB if you don’t like the SM’s reviews don’t read them!

Wayne Kerr concur too.

Offline Sar-Major

First off; I've never been on UKE and I have no idea who Barry is. If you were expecting something from him, I'm afraid I'll have to disappoint you.  I've been warned on DMs from other members that I would be jumped on by a gang of SM's mates, so this will be my last comment on the matter. The reaction to what I would regard as fairly mild criticism is quite intriguing.

I was merely pointing out that I don't find his tales of constantly squirting, sexually-stunned women littered all over the Nort East credible. If they work for you, that's fine. I don't find them helpful. I read them occasionally to see if they might offer some insight, but I don't get it.

I enjoy punting in the NE. The agencies are outstanding and I find the girls are of a consistently high standard. I also find almost all the reviewers to be good, and helpful. I plan to continue to enjoy it and to take what I can from the good reviews and contribute where possible to help out fellow punters.

 :thumbsup:

Well I expected that reply from you about UKE. As others have stated if you don’t like my reviews don’t read them, Simples.

I don’t tell tales, just the truth about the meeting with a bit of military humour thrown in, next time your down and see Charley ask her about my ability to make her squirt.

Just for your information I don’t have a “Gang” on here, were all just “Like minded Hobbyists”.   :thumbsup:

Happy Punting.  :thumbsup:

 :hi: :hi:
Banned reason: Fantasy reviews. Using UKP name to push boundaries and attempt bareback & stalker
Banned by: daviemac