Has anyone had an affair ?

[rickyponting]

Has anyone who is married or in a long term relationship had an affair?

If so ,how did it happen,and what became of it ?

[Caratacus]

No, that’s the reason I punt. Sex with my wife hasn’t happened for 3 years. I do t want to have an affair do the punting satisfies my sexual appetite.....sometimes

[Beamer]

Has anyone who is married or in a long term relationship had an affair?

If so ,how did it happen,and what became of it ?

Bit dodgy to talk about it IMO

[mr.bluesky]

Has anyone who is married or in a long term relationship had an affair?

If so ,how did it happen,and what became of it ?

Are you a Relate councillor touting for business 

[King Nuts]

Has anyone who is married or in a long term relationship had an affair?

If so ,how did it happen,and what became of it ?

Yes.

Having an affair is a serious business. It comes with costs. One of them is that you never, ever admit to it, and try and make life easier for yourself by 'fessing up.

Lenny Bruce had it right: External Link/Members Only

[Beamer]

Has anyone who is married or in a long term relationship had an affair?

If so ,how did it happen,and what became of it ?

What about you?? Have you had one? Or more?

[rickyponting]

What about you?? Have you had one? Or more?

No,but i am in a difficult position where it could be possible,but a lot to lose obviously if it went tits up.

[hungrypunt]

When I was married she want arsed about anything including sex, met a woman who funnily enough Ive not seen for 3 years and am seeing her tomorrow keeping the social rule so no shagging.
I was with her on the sly when married for 2 years.
But then turned to punting seeking and tapping off on the fridays I could and still shagging my "affair" now n then

If I could turn back time I wouldn't get married, I don't need the emotional baggage and grief, and fair quite well on my todd.
ive got more women friends now than when i was married and good friends too.

[MissWolf]

No,but i am in a difficult position where it could be possible,but a lot to lose obviously if it went tits up.

It will go tits up!

[Billy no mates]

Yes, once, on and off with the same woman for a few years. Never got caught, finished it amicably. Told my wife a few years after, all good.

I don’t condone my actions, nor would I encourage others.

[King Nuts]

No,but i am in a difficult position where it could be possible,but a lot to lose obviously if it went tits up.

It doesn't have to go tits.

If every marriage ended just because one of the participants had an affair, the divorce rate would be way higher than it is. Having an affair is letting off steam, and I think there's more people out there than you'd think, who are ok about their other half having a fling if it means the marriage doesn't bust up. People get married and stay married for all sorts of reasons, and sex isn't one of them, let's face it.

Stick to the rules, if you're going to cheat. Cover your tracks. Don't compromise too many other people by telling them what you're up to. And if you're caught, deny everything. Your missus will want to believe you.

One other thing: don't fool around on your mistress. Do that, and the whole system crumbles.

[Billy no mates]

It doesn't have to go tits.

If every marriage ended just because one of the participants had an affair, the divorce rate would be way higher than it is. Having an affair is letting off steam, and I think there's more people out there than you'd think, who are ok about their other half having a fling if it means the marriage doesn't bust up. People get married and stay married for all sorts of reasons, and sex isn't one of them, let's face it.

Stick to the rules, if you're going to cheat. Cover your tracks. Don't compromise too many other people by telling them what you're up to. And if you're caught, deny everything. Your missus will want to believe you.

One other thing: don't fool around on your mistress. Do that, and the whole system crumbles.

This is accurate of my situation, my wife didn’t want the marriage to end. We became closer again, I stopped the affair (took a few attempts, like quitting smoking). A few years later I told her and she was alright with it all. Well, to me she was alright with it all. I never strayed since.

It’s hard to explain fully why I had the affair, but it was nothing to do with sex. I was getting sex at home, and I am allowed to see escorts.

I think for me it was that intoxicating feeling of being 15/16 again and excited, nervous (will she text?, does she like me?) stuff I hadn’t felt since being a teen. Again not that it makes it excusable, but it’s what happened to me.

[hungrypunt]

It will go tits up!

Thats the idea
 but as for it will defo go tits up, depends on your point of view.
There will be many who do and never reveal , many that do and know about it secretly, and many that do that just are serial shaggers.


Id lay odds that there are far more that don't "come out" or "get caught" than do.
What about those seeing a WG regulary, say weekly or more, is that an affair ? in the punters head ? choccies, perfume, ?
Applies to Women and Men.
Blokes just wanna spread the seed baby

[pewpewpew]

I wasn't married but was in a long term relationship and had kids. Sex was non existent and I had the opportunity for an affair which I took. Justified it to myself by believing that getting sex elsewhere was keeping my relationship with the missus together for the sake of the 10 years and the kids etc.

Went on for about a year but got caught in the end. Was an absolute mess and still is even to this day. I don't recommend it

[cheshiremark]

Affairs......if you dont get caught dont ever ever admit to anything. If you do get caught the ramifications are horrendous. Loss of home, kids, financial security. In my case my ex had the affair, I lost a house in the UK, a house in Spain, half of my pension and literally had to start over. ... so remember that even if the affair is not your doing the fallout can be huge..that said, I am far happier now than then and realise that material possessions dont equate to happiness...

[Citybased]

I have, it was amazing at the time, until you get caught then it is the worse. It has a massive impact on loads of different people in everyone's immediate circle too along with the financial hit when divorce comes around. Go ahead at your risk.....I wish I could have my time again, defo play my cards better.

[Citybased]

I have, it was amazing at the time, until you get caught then it is the worse. It has a massive impact on loads of different people in everyone's immediate circle too along with the financial hit when divorce comes around. Go ahead at your risk.....I wish I could have my time again, defo play my cards better.

[Citybased]

Got some good memories though...lol

[winkywanky]

Affairs......if you dont get caught dont ever ever admit to anything. If you do get caught the ramifications are horrendous. Loss of home, kids, financial security. In my case my ex had the affair, I lost a house in the UK, a house in Spain, half of my pension and literally had to start over. ... so remember that even if the affair is not your doing the fallout can be huge..that said, I am far happier now than then and realise that material possessions dont equate to happiness...

OUCH! Sorry to hear that.

I guess in reality it's normally the guy that cheats, but how painful is it to be cheated on and then have to give half to the cheat? That's mighty tough  .

[willie loman]

It doesn't have to go tits.

If every marriage ended just because one of the participants had an affair, the divorce rate would be way higher than it is. Having an affair is letting off steam, and I think there's more people out there than you'd think, who are ok about their other half having a fling if it means the marriage doesn't bust up. People get married and stay married for all sorts of reasons, and sex isn't one of them, let's face it.

Stick to the rules, if you're going to cheat. Cover your tracks. Don't compromise too many other people by telling them what you're up to. And if you're caught, deny everything. Your missus will want to believe you.

One other thing: don't fool around on your mistress. Do that, and the whole system crumbles.

Well this is a topic you actually do know something about,

[spiralnotebook]

Has anyone had an affair?

Yes and that`s why I`m fat, everytime I fuck your missus we have a cup of tea and a biscuit afterwards.




 

[sparkus]

It depends what you mean by 'affair'.  I've slept with a few women at work, to be honest in some jobs it was the only thing that kept me there and kept me sane (nothing like a cunt of a boss to cause colleagues to find solace in each other).

I've also left people for someone else then still continued shagging the former OH.

[King Nuts]

Well this is a topic you actually do know something about,

Thank you. V kind.

I recently made 'friends' again with ex wife no 1. We chatted a bit and she told me she'd known when I was cheating on her. I had two separate affairs, and thought I'd done a good enough job at being discreet, but she knew anyway. I asked her why she didn't say anything at the time. She admitted that she didn't know how to bring it up, and thought that it would all just blow over and I'd stop eventually. There was also of course the issue of family, mortgage and all the usual stuff, and she couldn't face rocking the boat. Also, letting me have some fun was the way to help everything all hold together. V grown-up attitude, but it all fizzled out anyway.

Apart from the guilt, there were two practical things I hated about having affairs. Firstly, that you're always trying to be in two places at once. It gets exhausting. Bank Holidays are the worst. Second, is that you have to compromise certain friends and colleagues, who end up knowing what you're up to, and the pressure is then on them to keep schtum. Not a good thing to do to your mates.

 

[A Decent Fist]

Ages ago I had a six-month affair which stopped me punting for the duration. Wife cottoned on, we thrashed it out, I stopped the affair and the marriage got better. But I resumed punting after a while.

Kids grew up and I had another affair. Wife cottoned on after nine months and I told her straight away I was staying with the new woman. Big drama... worst few months of my whole life.

Still happy with the new woman a decade later... but resumed punting in the end. The temptation is too great once you've tasted it. And my circumstances make it easier for me to avoid detection than for most men who have partners.

[HighlyMotivated]

No, but I remember discovering my dad’s affair when I was a teen. Now that I am older and he’s passed on I regret reacting badly to it. He was cheating purely for the sexual aspect of it which I understand now. At the same time I wish he’d have explained this to me at the time rather than deny it despite all evidence.But yes these days I understand why men cheat and obviously keeping your activities well hidden is vital

[winkywanky]

Thank you. V kind.

I recently made 'friends' again with ex wife no 1. We chatted a bit and she told me she'd known when I was cheating on her. I had two separate affairs, and thought I'd done a good enough job at being discreet, but she knew anyway. I asked her why she didn't say anything at the time. She admitted that she didn't know how to bring it up, and thought that it would all just blow over and I'd stop eventually. There was also of course the issue of family, mortgage and all the usual stuff, and she couldn't face rocking the boat. Also, letting me have some fun was the way to help everything all hold together. V grown-up attitude, but it all fizzled out anyway.

Apart from the guilt, there were two practical things I hated about having affairs. Firstly, that you're always trying to be in two places at once. It gets exhausting. Bank Holidays are the worst. Second, is that you have to compromise certain friends and colleagues, who end up knowing what you're up to, and the pressure is then on them to keep schtum. Not a good thing to do to your mates.

Interesting perspective from someone who's been there and done it.

And interesting that the wife knew all along. You have to hand it to women, they do seem to have some kind of sixth sense. Or maybe blokes are just fucking useless at hiding it? (not singling you out KN)  

[winkywanky]

No, but I remember discovering my dad’s affair when I was a teen. Now that I am older and he’s passed on I regret reacting badly to it. He was cheating purely for the sexual aspect of it which I understand now. At the same time I wish he’d have explained this to me at the time rather than deny it despite all evidence.But yes these days I understand why men cheat and obviously keeping your activities well hidden is vital

Funny how we all understand our parents better as we get older, and in a way become them.

A shame when those parents have passed on and we can't share that  .

[King Nuts]

 Or maybe blokes are just fucking useless at hiding it?

It's an interesting point. You can go to great lengths to cover your tracks. Leave no evidence or a paper trail. Pay for drinks etc with cash when with your mistress, and so on. Go to bars and restaurants you'd not normally go to.

But then I'd come home after a long evening of 'business meetings', slide into bed next to the missus, asleep (as one always hopes) and suddenly realise there may be traces of Angel or White Linen or some other fragrance still on me.

So I learned (and this is a top tip for anyone contemplating an affair) to shower BEFORE I got home, whenever possible, and not wash my dick using soap. If you get home and there's a penis inspection, or indeed any potential interaction, you don't want the Corporal smelling of Imperial Leather at half ten at night. Very suspicious.

[winkywanky]

The sense of smell is something so primal in humans, we'd do well to pay heed to it.

I think doubly so in the case of women.

[winkywanky]

Example: the sense which has the most evocative element, ie the sense which can take you back and make you remember things from way back.

Smell. Every time. We see it as somehow less important than hearing or seeing perfectly, but it is so very deep within us.

My last gf knew this. We'd be snuggled up in bed after making love and she would actually say: you're smelling me, aren't you? And she was bloody well right.

I could never be with a woman who didn't smell right (to me). She may look fantastic, she may have great tits, she may have an arse to stop the traffic, but if she didn't smell right to me, it wouldn't work.

Go figure 

[winkywanky]

So if you come home, smelling not quite right, the alarm bells will be going off in her head.

[sparkus]

So if you come home, smelling not quite right, the alarm bells will be going off in her head.

But as a punter it becomes second nature to mask such things anyway.

Rose water (sold in some Indian supermarkets) does a good job of masking perfume.

My biggest slip up to date was showering in a hurry after a b2b session and not removing the oil/semen from bellybutton

[winkywanky]

But as a punter it becomes second nature to mask such things anyway.

Rose water (sold in some Indian supermarkets) does a good job of masking perfume.

My biggest slip up to date was showering in a hurry after a b2b session and not removing the oil/semen from bellybutton

Yes, but why would you be wearing rose water?

[sparkus]

Yes, but why would you be wearing rose water?

It neutralises the perfume but it doesn't have that much of an odour itself (for some reason).

Women in stripclubs, good luck shifting that volume of perfume off your torso

[winkywanky]

It neutralises the perfume but it doesn't have that much of an odour itself (for some reason).

Women in stripclubs, good luck shifting that volume of perfume off your torso

Sez you.

Your wife might think otherwise 

[Daffodil]

Affairs are a lot more fun! But a lot riskier and will cost similar, if not more.

My advice would to be only to have an affair with a girl that knows your situation. Even then, if they get into you, it can be a lot of trouble.

Caveat to that is if you meet the girl completely out of your usual circles and can actually cover your tracks sufficiently so that she never finds the real you. In my experience when trying that they very quickly start asking for your facebook and twitter accounts and the such and you not giving them is a massive red flag! If you can create a fake Facebook you’re laughing though.

[County Militia]

Yes I had an affair with a woman from work. It was really risky and involved alot of drama.

[sparkus]

I actually find that if you're attached, nine times out of ten unattached women won't have anything to do with you because they don't want to be the "other woman".  Affairs happen when both parties are exposed to equal risk.

And boy what a risk ie. if hubby finds out.  One I had a fling with, her husband looked one mean fucking dude, I don't know if that was part of the appeal or not (it was why she ended up in my arms though).

[Genesis42777]

I had an "affair" Once many many years ago.It was with my first true love,i met her when i was 16.And 30 years later,just out of curiousity i searched for her on "friends-re-united" and there she was.So i sent her a message.....and the "affair"... began.Now at the time i was single and she was in a long term relationship.At first i found it all a bit exciting,a bit of fun,Ya know...."the usual,the little sneaky texts, and bollox like, can you talk, is it safe to talk,i found it a bit risque and exciting for me,I have always been somewhat of a vanilla type person.
But i learned a few things from it.Women love to have there ego,s massaged they just do.The more attention they get the more they just want to absorb.Its like a vacum! But i also learned that the number (3) is an odd number, and will never go into (2)...So somebody somewere at some point is going to lose out.It eventually transpired for me over a few years,i was merely the Sounding-board,i was like head of the cheerleaders team,for when "he" had been mean and upset her) Now,someone once told me many,many years ago...."When you deal with a women always get value for money.)...i never understood him then, but i do now.What he meant was use your head and not your heart.If your going to invest your time and your emotions,make sure you get something worth while in return. For me i did not,the more i got to know (off) him..And bizzarily after a long time,you do get to know the (3rd person) you really do...how brazzen is this) she would phone me from her kitchen as chatting with Sam,whilst he was sat at the table having his dinner,and the 3 of us would have a sort of 3 way conversation.Women are ruthless at times,and to be honest i thought he was a good guy,and she was just a COW...And if she did it to him,she would do it to me....
So i would not have an affair again,to me its not worth the agro,and dissapointment and best to keep your numbers equal people.

regards G 

[David1970]

Only with married woman, I have never been married

[notcalledchris]

Only with married woman, I have never been married

Same here.  Helped someone else have their affair with me but was single myself.  It suited me very well whilst it lasted. 

[sparkus]

Same here.  Helped someone else have their affair with me but was single myself.  It suited me very well whilst it lasted.

I have once had a thing with a colleague where her husband 'knew' and was in tacit approval as they'd stopped doing it and he said she should have 'freedom' (there was no romance on my part but I'm not sure she saw it that way).  I'm not sure if it counts as an affair under those circumstances as they were in her words "more best friends now than husband and wife".

In my experience, #metoo, shifts towards remote working (even before lockdown) and people using dating apps for affairs have massively curbed the potential for workplace casual flings.

[The Owl]

Many years ago. My relationship was in its death throes and ended before we met. She was still married but claimed she was on the out either husband. We met, shagged a lot and then it started falling apart. In the end she vanished. About a year later I bumped in to her. She apologised for what happened and explained why she was so weird after we'd fucked. Turned out something unpleasant had happened to her. After breaking up with her husband and having another boyfriend she eventually got back with. Him, worked on her issues from her past, worked on her marriage and had a baby.

The lessons I learnt were never bother with married women or women already in a relationship and also sort out my own relationship or end as well.

The only married women I mess about with now are escorts and it's strictly business. It's also none of my business if they're in a relationship or not.

[King Nuts]

I actually find that if you're attached, nine times out of ten unattached women won't have anything to do with you because they don't want to be the "other woman".  Affairs happen when both parties are exposed to equal risk.

On the face of it, one would expect that to be the case. I wouldn't want to be the other man.

But on more than one occasion, after a couple of flirty drinks where the potential for some actual naughtiness had been made apparent, and I thus had to 'fess up to being married, I found in two or three cases it didn't seem to be any kind of an issue.

One woman, as I recall, flat out refused to take things any further, and another one, after a couple of days' thought, called me and said she'd like to see me, but there must be no sex. We then got into a frank debate about what actually constitutes 'sex' and we decided that everything apart from actual penetration would be OK. I figured I could live with that.

[sparkus]

On the face of it, one would expect that to be the case. I wouldn't want to be the other man.

But on more than one occasion, after a couple of flirty drinks where the potential for some actual naughtiness had been made apparent, and I thus had to 'fess up to being married, I found in two or three cases it didn't seem to be any kind of an issue.

One woman, as I recall, flat out refused to take things any further, and another one, after a couple of days' thought, called me and said she'd like to see me, but there must be no sex. We then got into a frank debate about what actually constitutes 'sex' and we decided that everything apart from actual penetration would be OK. I figured I could live with that.

I've personally no problems being "the other man", hey, if you're too lazy to fuck your wife I'll do it for you.  I just don't want to be mincemeat for a gorilla of a husband (as seen on her facebook pics).

[willie loman]

I've personally no problems being "the other man", hey, if you're too lazy to fuck your wife I'll do it for you.  I just don't want to be mincemeat for a gorilla of a husband (as seen on her facebook pics).

Ive occasionally shagged a woman who had a boyfriend, so not an affair, but always remember the fear, when i heard the front door slam in a cottage in the western highlands, fortunately it wasnt him. its usually me who is the cuckold.

[stampjones]

I have once had a thing with a colleague where her husband 'knew' and was in tacit approval as they'd stopped doing it and he said she should have 'freedom' (there was no romance on my part but I'm not sure she saw it that way).  I'm not sure if it counts as an affair under those circumstances as they were in her words "more best friends now than husband and wife

Wonder if the hubby was a member on here

[sparkus]

Wonder if the hubby was a member on here

Very doubtful, he was very hippy dippy 'let's all get along' smoke more spliff dude.

[Bonker]

Ive occasionally shagged a woman who had a boyfriend, so not an affair, but always remember the fear, when i heard the front door slam in a cottage in the western highlands, fortunately it wasnt him. its usually me who is the cuckold.

Blimey, you are nervous.
You live in Woking, don't you?

[catweazle]

Funny how we all understand our parents better as we get older, and in a way become them.

Yeah, when l was 15, my Dad knew nothing. It's amazing how much he learnt in the next 6 years.