Author Topic: Maria - Full body massage - In Burnley (Read 5125 times)

GerrardWarmaker · « **on:** March 16, 2020, 04:16:47 pm »

External Link/Members Only

£70 with a painful HE

This is my 1st review people! I should really calm down a bit and look at some others for "presentation" purposes, but i can't be bothered.

So i went to see this "30" year old masseuse because my back was legitimately playing up and why not have a handjob at the end... I wish i fucking hadn't. While clearly not 30 in the pictures, I would say that even the pictures are 15 to 20 years old, if she's a day under 60 I'd be shocked. So whilst that pissed me off i thought that the best option is just lay back, enjoy a massage and then keep my eyes closed and think of something else...

The massage: Shit strokes, the odd prod, a bit of pulling and this weird..... Shhhhhh noise she kept making..... She dangled some crystal shit all over me thinking it was spiritual I guess. It was about as erotic as my circumcision and even less worthwhile as a massage. What made it even worse is i think she must have mugged Cpt Jack Sparrow prior to my appointment because she had all these shitty rings and bracelets on which made her look (and sound) like a drunk pirate who's lost her dinghy.

So when the time came for the inevitable turn over and as she got to the magical area, low and behold skin got caught in the rings, her bracelets scratched me and there was absolutely no flow, no rhythm or eroticism AT ALL!
I made comments about the rings 3 fucking times and on the 4th I got up and fucked off home, got high, had a wank to Kendra Sunderland and did some stretching.

My back is still playing up.

Saeran · « **Reply #1 on:** March 16, 2020, 06:15:51 pm »

Pretty sure that she has been reviewed on here somewhere before and negatively then too. Perhaps someone more enlightened than me might find it.

GerrardWarmaker · « **Reply #2 on:** March 16, 2020, 10:47:34 pm »

It's quite possible, I did look but I'm a rank amateur on this site

Goldfinch · « **Reply #3 on:** March 16, 2020, 10:57:34 pm »

Quote from: Saeran on March 16, 2020, 06:15:51 pm

Perhaps someone more enlightened than me might find it.

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=174134.msg1847106#msg1847106

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=173536.msg1841480#msg1841480

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=172851.msg1835859#msg1835859

Clitheroelad · « **Reply #4 on:** March 17, 2020, 10:44:05 am »

Sorey OP but yiull be glad to knowbthat had me pissing myself laughing.

Kool Keef · « **Reply #5 on:** March 17, 2020, 11:37:18 am »

Quote from: Clitheroelad on March 17, 2020, 10:44:05 am

Sorey OP but yiull be glad to knowbthat had me pissing myself laughing.

+1

GerrardWarmaker · « **Reply #6 on:** March 18, 2020, 05:14:57 pm »

I hope that's a good thing.

Not being a regular user of ladies of horizontal entertainment I'm afraid i don't have a lot of experience writing up about them.

tr!gger · « **Reply #7 on:** March 18, 2020, 07:30:18 pm »

I have seen her a couple of times, I thought I'd left a review but perhaps that was elsewhere.

She's Czech has lived over here for 15 years + and her English is perfect. First time I saw her for an hour and was a bit disappointed as we were all done after 30 mins. As described above a half hearted massage, nice chat and then cc swipes and some ball massaging before turned over for an oily wank.

I'd kept her details and a few months later I saw her at short notice for 30 mins and it was basically the same experience so value for money if you book for 30 mins. On my second visit I managed to get her to take her boobs out and had a feel, stroked her arse and got told it was off limits.

She does have a Romany look to her and I've noticed the bangles and rings but they've never interfered with proceedings.

GerrardWarmaker · « **Reply #8 on:** March 19, 2020, 11:00:54 am »

Yea, no disrespect Tr!g but I wouldn't wanna go near them saggy sacks.

Just out of curiosity, how would I have found other reviews of her? (i'm still working this site out...)

tr!gger · « **Reply #9 on:** March 20, 2020, 06:25:03 pm »

Quote from: GerrardWarmaker on March 19, 2020, 11:00:54 am

Yea, no disrespect Tr!g but I wouldn't wanna go near them saggy sacks.

Just out of curiosity, how would I have found other reviews of her? (i'm still working this site out...)

If you go to the top right of the page and click on adv. search. I normally copy and paste the url from the adultwork or vivastreet advert and then search by newest. That should pop up anything related to that service provider. Failing that I'll normally search by their name or the town where they are based.

I do find it's useful to login on here and read the reviews and make a note of girls i'm interested in seeing, then revert back to that list when I'm next looking to punt.

Hope that helps.

Snoopy06 · « **Reply #10 on:** March 20, 2020, 07:12:14 pm »

She used to be based n Bradford a few years back...

GerrardWarmaker · « **Reply #11 on:** March 23, 2020, 03:39:15 pm »

Quote from: tr!gger on March 20, 2020, 06:25:03 pm

If you go to the top right of the page and click on adv. search. I normally copy and paste the url from the adultwork or vivastreet advert and then search by newest. That should pop up anything related to that service provider. Failing that I'll normally search by their name or the town where they are based.

I do find it's useful to login on here and read the reviews and make a note of girls i'm interested in seeing, then revert back to that list when I'm next looking to punt.

Hope that helps.

Yea cheers buddy. I thought there would be a more scientific method.
I'm not a massive punter but I'll do my best to make the few i do see, have interesting reviews.

Bikerman · « **Reply #12 on:** November 15, 2021, 10:17:04 am »

She is now in burnley doing b2b for £80...she seems to go for few month then pop up again at new address

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Author Topic: Maria - Full body massage - In Burnley (Read 5125 times)