Used to like this place for a legit massage, bit too much like shitting on my own doorstep for comfort though, but had a sports strain so though I’d give it a go, at least I could get a massage and maybe a quick tug off a nice lady.
External Link/Members OnlyStepped in and there was a Thai lady having her lunch and completely oblivious to her surroundings on the phone. The other on reception, think she’s called Cat.... ummm you don’t look Thai!
Now forgive me if I’m making the wrong statement but I kinda like the idea of a Thai massage meaning Thai girls. Against my better judgement I agreed to a massage, will be an experience if nothing else.
Well she immediately started talking.... or should that be aggressively snapping at me. She was quite aggressive. Started on my legs and hurt the sports strain. I said something under my breath in pain she went “WHAT!” What did you say, what did you say, you said cunt (no I did not) This is how it continued, she confirmed she was from Romania (oh just bloody great
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Disconcertingly she started asking questions I don’t like, have I children, am I married, have I got a girlfriend....mind your own fkng business I wanted to say but didn’t. Her excuse “well we have an hour”.
Half an hour in she asks if I want “made wanking motion” I just wasn’t attracted to her so no. She kept on though. So what do we do now, we have 20 minutes left? You what!? Ok do my legs a bit.
Now what we do, come on there is 15 minutes left? I’ve never had this before, massage person not knowing what to do. This was absolutely shit massage. Again and again she pestered me to pay her for unwanted extras, she didn’t or pretended to not understand much English. Eventually I negotiated 20, she will lift her top for me to grope and I can wank. Well I was curious so...
Big mistake. Top came up to reveal the most unattractive tits I’ve ever seen. You know when you go back to junior school after the Christmas holidays and there’s a balloon forgotten under the table half deflated, wrinkly in places and misshapen? Or you let down a balloon after a couple of months, it’s stretched and won’t go back... like that. Sunken wrinkly nipples pointing in different directions and a saggy baby belly. Thank goodness I didn’t pay the 50 she demanded to take all off because who knows what would be inside those pants. Oh and at that stage getting closer to her I could tell she was a smoker... she stank.
As I was getting ready to escape she asked how was the massage? Oh wonderful I said. What I should have done was left 20 minutes early when she started her games. As I left the Thai woman again ignored me.
Will I be back.... will I bollocks!
