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Author Topic: Not my reason for embarking on my hobby, but definitely my reason for continuing  (Read 3569 times)

Offline jambogaz

So I have been married to my high school girlfriend for 15 years now, I am 40 very soon and we still get on brilliantly, and still have a reasonable sex life.  All is rosy then?  No need to punt?

I discovered inadvertently about a year ago that my wife was having late night Facebook chats with a work colleague.  I didn't really have a problem with it, I mean the guy is a twat but clearly has decent taste in women.

It moved on to video calling, I would hear her chatting to him whilst I was upstairs in the bath, about the only time I am not around her or the livingroom.

From there, I cracked her FB password & was able to find out that she had been "performing" during her video calls with him, showing off her ample tits & playing with herself.

As things do, they seem to have moved on to getting physical with one another.  Now from their chats I gather they have kissed frequently, she has gone down on him a few times & wanked him off some too.  They haven't gone the distance.  Yet.

I have been pretty relaxed about the whole thing so far, I didn't mind the video calls as 9 times out of 10 she would get herself horny as hell & I would reap the benefits.  She has become a whole lot more sexual in the last year or so, like a breath of fresh air.  I actually find it a little bit sexy too that my (usually pretty reserved) wife has turned into a webcam girl!  I told her she should charge him!   Didn't go down too well... :lol:

She knows I know about the video calls but she doesn't know much more than that, certainly not that I can monitor her conversations with this guy.  She let slip while she was drunk one night that she had sucked him off but tried to pass it off as drunken ramblings the next day. 

However as always there is a giant cloud on the horizon, they have started chatting about meeting at my house during the day (she only works 3 days & he is out & about quite often - plenty chance to pop in for a "cup of tea") and have actually met there twice, although from what I gather she has bottled out on both occasions as did he the 2nd time.  Both of these chumps freely admit to each other that they love their wife/husband (me) dearly & wouldn't want to lose us!!!  To be honest I will lose the plot if I do find out that they have been at it in my place, that is a line that should not be crossed.

Bizarre situation really.

So I keep on punting as it gives me some strange kind of release & keeps me thinking that I can do this as long as she has her fun.  I don't usually go for penetration, normally just massage & HR, or occasionally a girlfriend-type punt that ends in some O or HR, rarely do I go the full monty.

Think I just wanted to get that off my chest really, no other reason for posting it I suppose.  Sorry to bore...

Toshiba

  • Guest
You obviously have a problem with it, sort it out now and ask her to stop .

This will end up fucking with ya head if you dont stop it now, you need to tell her you know, you need to talk to her about it, and the punch the cunt of a bloke whos trying to fuck your woman

Offline shagbambi

You play, she plays.  Maybe its time to sit down and discuss an open marriage?  However punting does not have the emotional attachment that is associated with an affair (it should not any way). So there is a difference, grey that it may be.  Hers means a lot more to her and is ultimately more destructive than your penchant for playing away.

Note: Her being so brazenly open about it may be a very obvious signal from her to you that a lot more is wrong in your marriage than you believe. Or she has watched one too many cuckold fantasy pornos, hence she fucks your brains out after her webcam sessions.

You have a lot to think about.

domino131

  • Guest
Yep, don't wait around waiting for the situation to develop, do something about it now.

Incidentally, does she know about your punting?  And what would she think if she did?

rogerc23

  • Guest
Thats pretty fucked up,you should ask her to stop,it comes across that you are trying hard to not let the whole thing bother you but clearly it does

Harribbo

  • Guest
You should man up stop being a melt & confront the guy and tell her to sort her shit out.

Pompoy123

  • Guest
At the end of the day punting whilst in a relationship is still cheating the only thing what differs from what you are doing and your wife is she's not paying.

I personally would not punt if in a relationship and if I were going through yiur situation I'd probably do something tgetat I can't mention on here but that's just me.

I have lubes that cannot be crossed.  :angry:

Offline Luke

I also think your wife is getting bored and looking to spice things up, if I were you I would man up and tell the other guy to get the hell out of the way and find a way with the wife,

Offline gorge

Leave her (you won't, well not yet) - it will only get worse -she will end up fucking your head. The relationship will most very likely end anyway - depends how much shit you want and can put up with before it does.
« Last Edit: March 25, 2014, 08:03:57 am by gorge »

Offline CBPaul

6 of one, half a dozen of the other.

Us punters who are otherwise involved are happy enough to shag other women so there is a bit of hypocrisy. I am married and I shag prossies BUT that's all it is, I'll never meet them off clock or run off with one of them.  To me getting involved with a colleague etc is a different level.

Anyway, OP, the situation has gone too far imo and if this bloke has been to your place a couple of times it's odds on they have done the deed. You may have reaped the benefits of her flashing her tits on a webcam but it should have stopped there and then.


Offline cunnyhunt

There is a difference between attending a punt and paying for sex and what your wife is doing.

Think of how you would be feeling if you were contacting a female friend and it was slowly turning from an innocent flirtation into something more sexual. She is obviously looking for some excitement which she feels must be missing.

This is not a good path to go down and you must encourage her to stop, but do not confront her with evidence but softly steer her away from him.

jcdmj12

  • Guest
You're obviously both sexually a bored and looking for an extra-curricular thrill. Why not just talk about it and take up swinging or something, or test out an open relationship?  Much better to have it controllable than under wraps with the potential to blow up.

Sailormack

  • Guest
I would be getting some "evidence" together and contacting his wife to try my luck with her. :yahoo:

If you can rattle her for free then this will allow you to build up your punting fund for when the fan and shit collide. :scare:

Meanwhile, I trust that you are taking steps to protect your assets, this should start immediately. :thumbsup:

And of course the big one.

 WTF are you doing getting married in the first place.  :unknown:
« Last Edit: March 25, 2014, 10:22:34 am by Sailormack »

Offline Qwerty

Women often would rather cheat with someone they know, and men with someone they don't.

This is because for women it's more about the emotion, and men it's more about the sex.

This isn't universal, but things tend to work that way.

So you're both cheating in your own sphere

Were you already using SPs before she started this? She may have intuited something - women are good at this - not necessarily even consciously, which may have led her into seeking something else. Either way you're both hiding something important from the other, even though you've discovered her secrets.

The other posters are right, if you don't want it to slide irrevocably you're going to have do something to make things change direction.

What that might be isn't something that can be determined by strangers in an online forum, and "manning up" as some have suggested is probably not the right answer. There are people out there who have expertise in this field, counsellors in sex and relationships - but if you go down this route be careful who you choose - you don't legally need any official accreditation to set up as a counsellor.

Offline Ali Katt

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I would be getting some "evidence" together and contacting his wife to try my luck with her. :yahoo:

If you can rattle her for free then this will allow you to build up your punting fund for when the fan and shit collide. :scare:

Meanwhile, I trust that you are taking steps to protect your assets, this should start immediately. :thumbsup:

And of course the big one.

 WTF are you doing getting married in the first place.  :unknown:
^This. Cover your arse now.

Offline akauya

First of all you need to ask yourself whether you really love your wife and how you would feel if you split up. If you do love her and she does indeed love you too then you need to work out why she is doing what she is doing and why you are punting. You have had some sensible advice and I agree that you should bring this out in the open now, discuss it and try to find a solution. Ignoring this will only make it worse and when it comes into the open in the future, which at some point it probably will, it may be too late to salvage anything.

Perhaps the fact that you married your school girlfriend probably has put in your mind (both of you) that you may have missed out on some other experiences, both sexual and emotional. That's understandable and perhaps the seed that started this all... of course only you will know that.

If you think your marriage is worth salvaging you need to deal with this in a calm manner (easier said than done I know), I'm not sure if it's wise telling her that you hacked her account, but tell her you know enough that you both need to deal with this. Ignoring it will only make it worse.

You haven't mentioned children so I'm assuming that you have none, that certainly helps.

It's not all doom and gloom however, depending how much you love each other and want to remain together you can try an open relationship, or you can go swinging but only try this if you are both absolutely certain that you can compartmentalise sex and extra marital relationships and still remain committed to each other (sounds like an oxymoron but I hope that makes sense).

There are couples who swear by swinging who think the swinging scene has made their marriage stronger because even though they love each other their sex life needed spicing a bit. Of curse there are others that claim swinging has the opposite effect. So only try this option if you are committed to each other and the only thing lacking is sexual 'spice' as it were.

Good luck anyway.

Offline smiths

So I have been married to my high school girlfriend for 15 years now, I am 40 very soon and we still get on brilliantly, and still have a reasonable sex life.  All is rosy then?  No need to punt?

I discovered inadvertently about a year ago that my wife was having late night Facebook chats with a work colleague.  I didn't really have a problem with it, I mean the guy is a twat but clearly has decent taste in women.

It moved on to video calling, I would hear her chatting to him whilst I was upstairs in the bath, about the only time I am not around her or the livingroom.

From there, I cracked her FB password & was able to find out that she had been "performing" during her video calls with him, showing off her ample tits & playing with herself.

As things do, they seem to have moved on to getting physical with one another.  Now from their chats I gather they have kissed frequently, she has gone down on him a few times & wanked him off some too.  They haven't gone the distance.  Yet.

I have been pretty relaxed about the whole thing so far, I didn't mind the video calls as 9 times out of 10 she would get herself horny as hell & I would reap the benefits.  She has become a whole lot more sexual in the last year or so, like a breath of fresh air.  I actually find it a little bit sexy too that my (usually pretty reserved) wife has turned into a webcam girl!  I told her she should charge him!   Didn't go down too well... :lol:

She knows I know about the video calls but she doesn't know much more than that, certainly not that I can monitor her conversations with this guy.  She let slip while she was drunk one night that she had sucked him off but tried to pass it off as drunken ramblings the next day. 

However as always there is a giant cloud on the horizon, they have started chatting about meeting at my house during the day (she only works 3 days & he is out & about quite often - plenty chance to pop in for a "cup of tea") and have actually met there twice, although from what I gather she has bottled out on both occasions as did he the 2nd time.  Both of these chumps freely admit to each other that they love their wife/husband (me) dearly & wouldn't want to lose us!!!  To be honest I will lose the plot if I do find out that they have been at it in my place, that is a line that should not be crossed.

Bizarre situation really.

So I keep on punting as it gives me some strange kind of release & keeps me thinking that I can do this as long as she has her fun.  I don't usually go for penetration, normally just massage & HR, or occasionally a girlfriend-type punt that ends in some O or HR, rarely do I go the full monty.

Think I just wanted to get that off my chest really, no other reason for posting it I suppose.  Sorry to bore...

If you still love your wife and want to be with her you need to sort this out asap by confronting her about this guy and what she has been up to. You need to establish does she actually still want to be with you.

If you dont still love her keep this dirt that will play to your advantage if you divorce. I hope it works out how you want it to.

Offline CBPaul

Some very sensible above.

She is aware that you know about the web sessions, she has admitted some other stuff, and you are aware of this guy coming to your house ? You being OK with the webcam stuff may have been taken as it being OK to go one step further, or perhaps she is testing the water so to speak.

Never mind laying the law down or approaching this other guy, you are both 40 ish (I presume), you need to sit down and discuss what is going on, why it is going on and where you both want to go from here.

If you both want the same thing then you can find a way of starting to work through it. If not then time for guidance and / or legal advice.

Whatever happens it seems clear that this has gone too far for your liking and if it continues to go on then it can only get worse.

I'm not into parties or swinging so I can't really comment on that. But, to my mind, more often than not having an open relationship  only prolongs an inevitable split. I'm sure others will correct me if I'm wrong on that score though.

Whatever the outcome, good luck. 

Offline smiths

Some very sensible above.

She is aware that you know about the web sessions, she has admitted some other stuff, and you are aware of this guy coming to your house ? You being OK with the webcam stuff may have been taken as it being OK to go one step further, or perhaps she is testing the water so to speak.

Never mind laying the law down or approaching this other guy, you are both 40 ish (I presume), you need to sit down and discuss what is going on, why it is going on and where you both want to go from here.

If you both want the same thing then you can find a way of starting to work through it. If not then time for guidance and / or legal advice.

Whatever happens it seems clear that this has gone too far for your liking and if it continues to go on then it can only get worse.

I'm not into parties or swinging so I can't really comment on that. But, to my mind, more often than not having an open relationship  only prolongs an inevitable split. I'm sure others will correct me if I'm wrong on that score though.

Whatever the outcome, good luck.

Obviously it depends on the couple but an open relationship can enhance a marriage for some. Perhaps one of the two arent wanting sex as much as the other but instead of having a secret affair they mutually agree to go swinging together, this is a scenario quite a few swingers i have met were in. It can also pep the one not wanting much sex up when they meet someone they fancy while swinging. ;)

Gordo987

  • Guest
I would be getting some "evidence" together and contacting his wife to try my luck with her. :yahoo:

If you can rattle her for free then this will allow you to build up your punting fund for when the fan and shit collide. :scare:

Meanwhile, I trust that you are taking steps to protect your assets, this should start immediately. :thumbsup:

And of course the big one.

 WTF are you doing getting married in the first place.  :unknown:

Have you seen the other bloke's wife? If shes fuckable, why not suggest that they come over to your place for dinner/drinks and see if she wants to play? Four in a bad can be very horny.  :P

Offline CBPaul

Obviously it depends on the couple but an open relationship can enhance a marriage for some. Perhaps one of the two arent wanting sex as much as the other but instead of having a secret affair they mutually agree to go swinging together, this is a scenario quite a few swingers i have met were in. It can also pep the one not wanting much sex up when they meet someone they fancy while swinging. ;)

Thanks for the opinion, not something I've gone for so always interesting to fill in the blanks.

Cunnivorous Vagitarian

  • Guest
I'd set up a false email account in his wife's name....
hack into your wife's FB account and copy one of the detailed messages....
Send it from the false account to your own titled.... "your wife is fucking my husband",
and take it from there....

Could go one way or another but at least it will open up the bag for the cat to escape!

Aspen

  • Guest
There is a difference between attending a punt and paying for sex and what your wife is doing.

Think of how you would be feeling if you were contacting a female friend and it was slowly turning from an innocent flirtation into something more sexual. She is obviously looking for some excitement which she feels must be missing.

This is not a good path to go down and you must encourage her to stop, but do not confront her with evidence but softly steer her away from him.

+1
Good advice!

DaveMugabe

  • Guest
She is definitely fucking him.  The OP just doesnt want to admit it thats all

Offline jackdaw

She is definitely fucking him.  The OP just doesnt want to admit it thats all

Always amazed that people regard it as so different to the "rest".

"Yes, she's sucking him off, and giving him the odd tit wank, but its all cool because he's not actually fucked her yet".

That doesn't make perfect sense to me. What happens after he does fuck her? "It's all cool because he's not buggered her yet". And even then… there's water sports to go…

No. Its all a lot easier if you have a showdown as soon the naked flesh starts bumping against each other, regardless of which part of the anatomy is featured.
« Last Edit: March 26, 2014, 06:59:12 am by jackdaw »

hunnymuncher

  • Guest
I feel your pain. 
Im currently in last stages of divorcing. 
Wife cheated on me, with someone close.
what I can't understand is I did everything for her, worked my arse of to give her everything.  I never cheated. I could have a lot of times but i didn't. Our Sex life was good.
Long story short. I caught her out. She admitted it.
To which end results were, I caught chlamydia from her.
Its all sorted. Luckily Easy fixed with a few tablets
 but it is the unseen wounds which im finding harder to heal.
Not ready for a relationship, but have my needs.
So decided to go punting. Until I am ready for finding someone else.  Im a decent guy, good job, just want one woman to be with who isn't going to fuck me around.   

Offline cunnyhunt

just want one woman to be with who isn't going to fuck me around.

Good luck in your impossible search  :rolleyes:

Offline CBPaul

I feel your pain. 
Im currently in last stages of divorcing. 
Wife cheated on me, with someone close.
what I can't understand is I did everything for her, worked my arse of to give her everything.  I never cheated. I could have a lot of times but i didn't. Our Sex life was good.
Long story short. I caught her out. She admitted it.
To which end results were, I caught chlamydia from her.
Its all sorted. Luckily Easy fixed with a few tablets
 but it is the unseen wounds which im finding harder to heal.
Not ready for a relationship, but have my needs.
So decided to go punting. Until I am ready for finding someone else.  Im a decent guy, good job, just want one woman to be with who isn't going to fuck me around.

First of all, good luck.

But, for Christs sake just remember that punting is about sex and nothing else, when you are ready to find someone look elsewhere. I'm sure the unseen wounds will take a while to heal but they could also leave you vulnerable when punting.

hunnymuncher

  • Guest
Definitely not looking for a girl through this.
Would rather do this than go out on a sesh with the boys to pull then having the awkward moment afterwards if/when the girl would like to see you again.
Im not interested or ready for anything.
So this is the best option. I have my needs like any other man.
 so I Get exactly what I want when I want. (Can try)
without the messy bit.




hunnymuncher

  • Guest
Good luck in your impossible search  :rolleyes:

before the ex. I had a great girl. But we miscarried and everything went down hill she mentally couldn't cope with it. we split.
I know there are good ones out there. I've been quite lucky apart from the soon to be ex wife.

pokenn

  • Guest
So I have been married to my high school girlfriend for 15 years now, I am 40 very soon and we still get on brilliantly, and still have a reasonable sex life.  All is rosy then?  No need to punt?

I discovered inadvertently about a year ago that my wife was having late night Facebook chats with a work colleague.  I didn't really have a problem with it, I mean the guy is a twat but clearly has decent taste in women.

It moved on to video calling, I would hear her chatting to him whilst I was upstairs in the bath, about the only time I am not around her or the livingroom.

From there, I cracked her FB password & was able to find out that she had been "performing" during her video calls with him, showing off her ample tits & playing with herself.

As things do, they seem to have moved on to getting physical with one another.  Now from their chats I gather they have kissed frequently, she has gone down on him a few times & wanked him off some too.  They haven't gone the distance.  Yet.

I have been pretty relaxed about the whole thing so far, I didn't mind the video calls as 9 times out of 10 she would get herself horny as hell & I would reap the benefits.  She has become a whole lot more sexual in the last year or so, like a breath of fresh air.  I actually find it a little bit sexy too that my (usually pretty reserved) wife has turned into a webcam girl!  I told her she should charge him!   Didn't go down too well... :lol:

She knows I know about the video calls but she doesn't know much more than that, certainly not that I can monitor her conversations with this guy.  She let slip while she was drunk one night that she had sucked him off but tried to pass it off as drunken ramblings the next day. 

However as always there is a giant cloud on the horizon, they have started chatting about meeting at my house during the day (she only works 3 days & he is out & about quite often - plenty chance to pop in for a "cup of tea") and have actually met there twice, although from what I gather she has bottled out on both occasions as did he the 2nd time.  Both of these chumps freely admit to each other that they love their wife/husband (me) dearly & wouldn't want to lose us!!!  To be honest I will lose the plot if I do find out that they have been at it in my place, that is a line that should not be crossed.

Bizarre situation really.

So I keep on punting as it gives me some strange kind of release & keeps me thinking that I can do this as long as she has her fun.  I don't usually go for penetration, normally just massage & HR, or occasionally a girlfriend-type punt that ends in some O or HR, rarely do I go the full monty.

Think I just wanted to get that off my chest really, no other reason for posting it I suppose.  Sorry to bore...

But you were playing away before she was. Maybe she knows about your infidelity and this is her revenge. Either way what's good for the goose is good for the gander.