External Link/Members OnlyTugged off by Yoda, I may have been...
OK, allow me to start at the beginning.
When I first started working for myself, I had this wacky idea of not working Fridays. Of course, while you're building up your business and doing those great 100-hour-plus weeks, that's bollocks, but after a while you can, I decided today to have some "me" time. And I decided to have a proper, legit, chill-out massage (having tried to book with Monika, to find that although she's back from holiday, for some reason she's not getting back to me...weird, as she asked me to message her when we spoke before she went away. Anyway, I digress...)
So I called Ginnaree, where I know the massages can get a little teasing, but at the end of the day, it's a massage with no extras. Texted to book, and was told my timeslot was available, no problems.
The parlour is on the site of the old Daniel House "Swing Club" on Balby Road, with a private car park at the back, though the old Daniel House entrance at the back isn't in use, so the door to Ginnaree is at the entrance to the car park, visible from the main road. Not an issue though, as so far as I know it isn't locked so you can go straight in and up the stairs to reception.
So up I go to be met by Yoda.
Sorry, that's really unfair. The lady is perhaps in her fifties, is tiny in stature, but...well, lets face it...a bit on the round side. "No worries there," thinks I, "I'm here for a massage only, so appearance doesn't matter right?" So we sort out the money (£30 for an hour), and she's very lovely and smiley and offers me a shower in the room, which I decline having just had one. I get undressed and lay down, and when asked offer for a mixture of hard and soft massage. The hard massage, truth be told, wasn't actually that hard. Having had some pretty brutal Thai massages, I'd call it a medium. Then the soft, relaxing oil massage starts, which does chill me out nicely.
So I'm laying there, and although she's doing my bum and thighs, there's no hint of swiping or going for the balls, which is fine as I'm chilliing - actually thinking about spreadsheets (if anyone knows how to come up with a formula to count the number of unique text values in one column of a table, PM me. I'm pretty good, but it's baffling me!)
Point is, I'm not thinking about sex in the slightest. She's not touching me sexually. I don't fancy her.
So why am I getting a hard on?
That was fucking weird! She's not, so far as I know, doing any sexual voodoo, but the wee one isn't so wee any more.
And she asks me to turn over.
"Oh well, what the hell," thinks I, and rolls over, and I notice her giving it a look, before she grabs some oil and starts on my thighs and stomach. And this time, she most definitely IS aiming for an effect...oiled forearms sweeping along my cock, and not just once either. It's fully hard now, and I have no idea how we've got to this!! As it happens though, I know that happy endings are verboten here, although I have paid to give myself an assisted tug before, but with someone more alluring.
Then she strokes my cock properly, pulling back my foreskin and giving the head an oily stroke.
"Oh fuck it," I think to myself, and say "you don't do happy endings here do you?"
"Yes," she says. "Thirty Pounds."
I'm too discombobulated to argue, and agree, and she starts stroking it nicely. As is traditional I stroke her bum through her leggings while she does (and plenty of bum to go at there, gentlemen!) and my hand slips up to her bare back.
Then bugger me, she pulls up her tunic and bra and lobs her tits out!
I have seen nicer. Much nicer. But, for whatever reason, I am as horny as fuck, so I have a feel and a good old lick of her nipples which she seems to enjoy (by which I mean she's making all the right noises...yeah, I know, I know...) and she changes position a few times to let me have a flick and a nibble at both. One thing leads to another, and my hand is in her leggings, then in her knickers and I'm playing with her clit (trimmed close, or usually shaved but left it a few days, by the way) before I'm cumming all over her hand and my arm.
She wipes me down, then goes to the sink to wash her tits before popping them away and for the last 15 minutes giving me an arm, shoulder, head and face massage. After which she gives me a nice, soft wipe down, and at the end of this she strokes the wee one again (not hard now, but the foreskin's still pulled back to the head's exposed) bends over and gives is a peck on the tip, with a giggle.
Which was all very surprising!
The lady's name is Jem (I think), for anyone who'd like to experience the Fucking Surreal Side of the Force, but it did raise a bit of a thought process in my mind...previously, HEs just plain weren't on offer at Ginnaree. So is it just Jem who offers them? Because if it's a change in policy and all the ladies do...well, anyone whose been before knows of a VERY nice young lady there whose hands I think we'd all like around our respective cocks!!
