I saw Sue a week or so ago. She told me she works out of a shop in central Croydon as well as out of her flat. I saw her in her flat.
Link:
External Link/Members Only:
Price:
£60 for 1 hour lomi lomi massage.
Location:
5 minute walk from East Croydon station.
Comms:
Despite perfectly fine English when talking to her in person comms on her end were slightly garbled at points. Like someone who had only a basic command of the language. We worked out the time reasonably okay, except at one point she thought I was talking about 8 in the morning rather than the evening??? Like Christ I ain’t that eager.
Meet:
By the sounds of previous reviews I think Sue has moved to a new location, a small flat nearer to East Croydon train station. It’s easy enough to find. Anyway, I tell Sue I’m downstairs and she opens the door for me, quickly rushing up the stairs and leaving me to follow her up. I’m led to her bedroom which is rather untidy, but whatever, I can move around and I’m not here for the interior design, and she asks if there’s any part of my body that aches. After that she asks me to take off my clothes, which I do, and was fine with me taking off my underwear. So far so good.
The massage table is quite tall and not the most stable; it creaked nearly every time she rubbed me which if anyone had been living downstairs would have made it sound as if there was more action than I was getting. The massage itself was great; Sue clearly knows what she’s doing and meticulously worked over my body with her hands, forearms and elbows. She paid extra attention to my problem area which was nice. Unfortunately during this time there was a towel covering my nether-regions, though as Sue seemed fine working my backside I didn’t think too much of it.
So after about 35 minutes or so she asks me to turn over. Huzzah! I think, this is it, the build-up to the climax, pun intended. Well I can assure you all I was wrong on that count. What followed was a continuation of the thorough massage, working up from my feet to my neck, and if that was all I'd come for it would be fine. But it wasn't.
For some reason she put an eye mask over my eyes when she massaged my front, as if it would be sinful for me to see her of something equally bizarre. No one else has ever done this and I still can’t figure out what the point was. Sue also steadfastly made sure that the towel covered my nether-regions throughout, even when she was massaging my inner thigh next to my groin. You’d think I would have clocked nothing else was forthcoming by this point, but I remembered the comments I'd read saying how she'd wanked clients off after the massage was finished and remained hopeful. Clearly, I thought, this is just her way of working up towards the sinful happy ending, right?
This hope evaporated five minutes before the end when it became clear that towel was staying put. Sue wiped me down (with the towel still covering my manhood) and told me we were finished and I can get dressed. She stepped outside the room to wash up I suppose and me, being the idiot that I am, came up with the brilliant idea that if she saw my dick hard she might get the gist. So I got the little Ardras standing to attention and slowly put my top on, hoping for Sue to come back in. She did, saw the little Ardras, made a little ‘oh’ sound and promptly went back out as if she were a nun in a convent or something. That was that.
Frustratingly during the massage, either by design or accident of Sue’s buxom figure her boobs will sometimes rest on your head when she leans over to massage you. Forgive me if I add this to my list of excuses as to why even to the end I thought there’d be something else on offer.
The final metaphorical kick in the balls came as I was waiting for my train, desperately searching Vivastreet for any escorts that might satisfy my horniness. I call up the only one that seems available at 11pm only to find she won't see me because I'm half black. Wonderful.
Conclusion:
Overall for the actual massage itself I'd give her an 8/10, but as there was nothing in the way of sensuality I can't give it more than a neutral. Not Sue’s fault, but it is what it is. Having read previous reviews and comments that Sue can switch between strictly massage and horniness I had hoped I’d get lucky, but alas it wasn’t to be.
Would I Return:
No. I don’t feel like wasting money on the off chance one day Sue might wank me off.
