External Link/Members Only or
External Link/Members OnlyNote to self: be suspicious of a girl that can't even put the effort to choose a decent moniker: how much of an effort do you think she'll make when she has to shag you?
Not much, it turns out: I took one for the team, with Ella, and it hurt.
Let's start with the positives: answers her own phone, responds promptly to texts. She receives in a decent flat on the third floor of a stucco-fronted building in Marylebone. The road is not too busy and the entrance is reasonably discreet. She opened the door immediately.
Another plus: it's her on the pictures, and she's very hot. Perfect face with beautifully long blond hair, intense blue eyes, fantastic plump mouth, 9+. Quite a good body as well: she's short but not too skinny, she has a great ass that's quite a handful without being excessive, absolutely perfect B-cup breasts, nice sweet pussy. Nice legs although not too long. Overall: 8+
She opened the door with a quiet attitude that didn't necessarily concern me as I know that most Romanian women don't show a lot of enthusiasm or curiosity at the beginning. I stupidly didn't confirm services, which would have led me to downgrade the punt to a 30 minutes one. She handed me a good, big, clean towel and I took a shower.
Back in the room, I found her attitude had become slightly different: from the initial demure one I could now sense a vague air of contempt and/or annoyance. Not a good start, as not a good start was that she bitchily said "let's go on the bed, I can't stand here" when I tried some light foreplay while standing (caresses, bodies touching, etc.).
On the bed, she immediately placed herself on the side with a passive attitude. I started caressing her and as soon as I got to the neck she said with the same bitchy voice "don't touch my face". It was obvious she was not up for french kissing, but I asked anyway. She said something like "clearly no, would you like if I kissed the guy who comes before you and then kissed you?". Ehr... darling, you're a prostitute, I'm going to eat your pussy in a second, I'm not a jealous guy in general and particularly when meeting someone who does your job... Anyway, no FK, never, despite it being on her profile.
In the process, there were various signs of badly retained bitchiness: she was concerned I would sweat on her duvet, or that the duvet itself would move too much but then she also seemed annoyed when I wanted to keep the towel close so as not to sweat too much. Generally, I found her quite unpleasant: she didn't smile once, she didn't make an effort to make me feel at ease once.
Anyway, I said to myself "let's get on with it and try to finish early", and went down on her for a while. This was not too bad, although I didn't sense enough participation to make me feel completely engaged. After a while she signalled that she had enough and I lied down for a BJ: she instantly reached for a condom. I asked "no OWO?", and the usual bitchy/angry tone for her answer "Babby no, I'm safe". That's when I noticed that she had what looked like a recovering cold sore on the side of the mouth so I should probably count my blessings. BTW, OWO is on her profile as well.
To her credit, her OW was not too bad: reasonably intense, reasonably good participation. I tried to play with her clit but she got instantly tense thinking I wanted to finger her (as if I hadn't guessed that she wouldn't want it by now), so I went for a 69 instead. Again, after a while she cut it short, reached for the lube and started riding me. Not too bad again, and not too bad when in mish, so I ended up coming in the condom when the clock signed probably 22/23 minutes in.
I went for another shower, and got back. 10 seconds of conversation with her speaking to me with a bored tone and an inexpressive stare. After a while she looked at me as if surprised I wasn't leaving, and said "so, what do you want to do now?". "well, do it again!".
She seemed outraged: "I cannot do that: it would last longer than the first time". WTF? we're 27 minutes in by now... So I said: "well, ok, then let's turn this into a 30 minutes punt". I don't understand when girls that, admittedly not being geniuses, decide to cling to those few pounds as if their life depended on it: obviously once you deny me the money back that equally obviously you owe me if you refuse to work for the entire time we agreed I'm going to make it a mission to ruin your business... but no, some girls are just too stupid, and she definitely is.
She was like: "I cannot give you your money back, because in half an hour I would do the same things", which doesn't even make sense as an attempt to explain the rejection. At this point I started feeling that sense of nausea that I get when having to deal with scamming low-lifes. She said something like "I can make you a massage". Who wants your fucking incompetent massage? "OK, I can make you a handjob". "Fuck off - I thought - I'm off": I didn't want to spend a second more dealing with her so I left without saying one more word, anticipating the pleasure I'd feel when writing the reviews I'll cover the web with to tell people to avoid this tart as the plague: at 100 for 30 minutes and 150 for one hour this is the worst possible way to waste your money
Location: 7
Physical appearance: 9 (face), 8 (body)
Performance: 5
Attitude: 3
VFM: 3
Would return? I'd rather become a monk.
