First and foremost - there is no fucking way on God’s earth that the picture on the website of April is the girl you will see. No fucking way. Facially, she looks like Olive from ‘On the Buses’. Furthermore, she’s got a right fucking belly on her. She has the same body shape as a Christmas tree - small at the top and big and fat around the waist. There is nothing sexy about her whatsoever. I was on th bed having a wank in the room waiting for April and getting well stuck into the poppers, when in she walks - I looked closely at her - physically, she reminds me of a buffalo trying to take a dump out of the back of a Toyota pick up truck.
Anyway, I thought I would give it my best shot. But unfortunately even though she seems like a decent enough girl, she knows absolutely fuck all about perverted sex. She really did not have a clue what to do with me. After 10 or so minutes of her fumbling around and not knowing what to do, I just called a halt to proceedings and said it isn’t working love. She seemed relieved to be honest - she goes ‘is it me’, and I’m like ‘well it isn’t me April’, so you work it out. As she was getting dressed I gave her £20for her trouble and let meself out. The receptionist went into a mild panic when I went through the lounge area. I think she thought I’d murdered April, and was going out to the car to get my body disposal kit.
April is a nice girl in the wrong job.
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