April - Directors Lodge - Pinxton

[Mutinyonthecounty]

First and foremost - there is no fucking way on God’s earth that the picture on the website of April is the girl you will see. No fucking way. Facially, she looks like Olive from ‘On the Buses’. Furthermore, she’s got a right fucking belly on her. She has the same body shape as a Christmas tree - small at the top and big and fat around the waist. There is nothing sexy about her whatsoever. I was on th bed having a wank in the room waiting for April and getting well stuck into the poppers, when in she walks - I looked closely at her - physically, she reminds me of a buffalo trying to take a dump out of the back of a Toyota pick up truck.

Anyway, I thought I would give it my best shot. But unfortunately even though she seems like a decent enough girl, she knows absolutely fuck all about perverted sex. She really did not have a clue what to do with me. After 10 or so minutes of her fumbling around and not knowing what to do, I just called a halt to proceedings and said it isn’t working love. She seemed relieved to be honest - she goes ‘is it me’, and I’m like ‘well it isn’t me April’, so you work it out. As she was getting dressed I gave her £20for her trouble and let meself out. The receptionist went into a mild panic when I went through the lounge area. I think she thought I’d murdered April, and was going out to the car to get my body disposal kit.

April is a nice girl in the wrong job.

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[NervousJ]

  that’s hilarious...

Fucking hell, I’ve  just looked, I was going to go see her last week, I even got as far as the street and phoned but was told she didn’t do owo...

It was the tits that drew me in...

[chandlerhandler]

Obviously, the receptionist hadn't warned April who was in the room, or she might not have even entered

[Goldfinch]

 The receptionist went into a mild panic when I went through the lounge area. I think she thought I’d murdered April, and was going out to the car to get my body disposal kit.

 

An entertaining read,thanks for sharing-hope your next one is a positive.

[badsin]

I'm surprised the maid didn't tell her what to expect. Solid negative review, shame you didn't enjoy

[gbyld87]

I actually recognise the red pants pic from a porn image set from a good few years back, funnily enough. 

Edit:. This one - External Link/Members Only

[badsin]

The pictures really dont match up to your description. I know they've used fake pictures in the past, are these fake / ripped off?

[Charliehutton]

Facially, she looks like Olive from ‘On the Buses’ physically, she reminds me of a buffalo trying to take a dump out of the back of a Toyota pick up truck.



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Well, MotC, you've put me right off. I've never thought much of those Toyotas.

Shame about the punt, but it made a cracking read!

[Charliehutton]

I actually recognise the red pants pic from a porn image set from a good few years back, funnily enough. 

Edit:. This one - External Link/Members Only

Wow, gb, well remembered! The profiles in some parlours are utterly shameless.

[HailWood]

Bloody hell Mutiny a poor call and well done for bailing but still compensating her a little. A gent 

Mind you this is a hilarious read!

[chandlerhandler]

Wow, gb, well remembered! The profiles in some parlours are utterly shameless.

You'd think an established business like their's would know better,  fucking stupid IMHO

[Moby Dick]

Appreciate your sense of humour.
Sounds a disaster.

Probably been over 10years since I’ve been to this place.
Can you not see or ask to see the girls before picking?

[NervousJ]

I couldn’t find the entrance last week, good job owo wasn’t on the cards or fuck knows who’s house I’d have walked into. I saw some black gates into some yard area. Is it there..

[chandlerhandler]

I couldn’t find the entrance last week, good job owo wasn’t on the cards or fuck knows who’s house I’d have walked into. I saw some black gates into some yard area. Is it there..

Was there a Toyota pick-up in the yard :

[NervousJ]

Ha ha, I can’t remember, I was too busy pulling a 9 point turn near a load of bungalows..

[HailWood]

I couldn’t find the entrance last week, good job owo wasn’t on the cards or fuck knows who’s house I’d have walked into. I saw some black gates into some yard area. Is it there..

It’s on the corner Jimmy. Park up and go around the back and up the first back passage you see 

*if my memory serves

[badsin]

go around the back and up the first back passage you see 

Classic advice🤣😂

[John the Sextist]

First and foremost - there is no fucking way on God’s earth that the picture on the website of April is the girl you will see. No fucking way. Facially, she looks like Olive from ‘On the Buses’. Furthermore, she’s got a right fucking belly on her. She has the same body shape as a Christmas tree - small at the top and big and fat around the waist. There is nothing sexy about her whatsoever. I was on th bed having a wank in the room waiting for April and getting well stuck into the poppers, when in she walks - I looked closely at her - physically, she reminds me of a buffalo trying to take a dump out of the back of a Toyota pick up truck.

Anyway, I thought I would give it my best shot. But unfortunately even though she seems like a decent enough girl, she knows absolutely fuck all about perverted sex. She really did not have a clue what to do with me. After 10 or so minutes of her fumbling around and not knowing what to do, I just called a halt to proceedings and said it isn’t working love. She seemed relieved to be honest - she goes ‘is it me’, and I’m like ‘well it isn’t me April’, so you work it out. As she was getting dressed I gave her £20for her trouble and let meself out. The receptionist went into a mild panic when I went through the lounge area. I think she thought I’d murdered April, and was going out to the car to get my body disposal kit.

April is a nice girl in the wrong job.

External Link/Members Only

Well, reading your review made me PMSFL!!

So as a consequence I started to read your reviews and in all honestly I got as far as the second one and started to believe you probably have a disposal bag lol

 

[monkeybucket]

hope they don't go down the fake picture route. that would be very disappointing.

I'd expect nothing less than a walk though.

 

[Newtothisstuff]

I'm surprised that such a well known place is using such blatantly fake photos. Especially using photos of someone as well known as Brook Little. I'd have expected flattering photos or old photos from them..... but resorting to using outright fakes is a bad sign. Maybe they're they having trouble recruiting the right girls? I'd thought DL had a fairly good reputation.

[Dipper]

hope they don't go down the fake picture route. that would be very disappointing.

I'd expect nothing less than a walk though.

Agree on this.

Over glossy/ photoshop /fake pics always puts me off.

[Moby Dick]

Agree on this.

Over glossy/ photoshop /fake pics always puts me off.

Ruby is using the same photos that she uses as Alex at GFE
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Doesn’t put me off.

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Is she now at both, or left GFE?


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Hidden Image/Members Only

[Charliehutton]

Ruby is using the same photos that she uses as Alex at GFE
External Link/Members Only
Doesn’t put me off.

External Link/Members Only
Is she now at both, or left GFE?


Hidden Image/Members Only

Hidden Image/Members Only

That first photo of Ruby was one used by Alex, at Victoria House, in Lutterworth, until recently. She has an updated set now which give a true indication of all her artwork;

External Link/Members Only

Presumably it's the same girl, but Directors Lodge seem very coy about showing tattoos. Paige is covered in ink, for example, but you'd never know from her profile. Best not to trust their profiles at all, by the sound of it.

[Charliehutton]

Christ, I'm losing track now. I've just noticed that Zara (very hot blonde)

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is using one of the photos of Erin, a new recruit at Victoria House;

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Are they the same girl? Fuck knows.

[Moby Dick]

That first photo of Ruby was one used by Alex, at Victoria House, in Lutterworth, until recently. She has an updated set now which give a true indication of all her artwork;

External Link/Members Only

Presumably it's the same girl, but Directors Lodge seem very coy about showing tattoos. Paige is covered in ink, for example, but you'd never know from her profile. Best not to trust their profiles at all, by the sound of it.

Thanks Charlie 
I prefer her older pics.
The bruise, I mean tattoo doesn’t do owt for me.

Although her pussy looks juicy thro’ those sheer knickers


Hidden Image/Members Only

[NervousJ]

It’s an absolute car crash of a website. Seriously needs revamping.

[Mutinyonthecounty]

That first photo of Ruby was one used by Alex, at Victoria House, in Lutterworth, until recently. She has an updated set now which give a true indication of all her artwork;

External Link/Members Only

Presumably it's the same girl, but Directors Lodge seem very coy about showing tattoos. Paige is covered in ink, for example, but you'd never know from her profile. Best not to trust their profiles at all, by the sound of it.

This is like trying to follow the last series of Line of Duty. Let me check my understanding here.....are you saying that Ruby at DL and Alex at Vicky House are the same girl ? If that is the case, I’m going to be straight over to see her as soon as she’s on the rota. I’ve been wanking over Alex’s pictures at VH since early last week.

[Moby Dick]

This is like trying to follow the last series of Line of Duty. Let me check my understanding here.....are you saying that Ruby at DL and Alex at Vicky House are the same girl ? If that is the case, I’m going to be straight over to see her as soon as she’s on the rota. I’ve been wanking over Alex’s pictures at VH since early last week.

Think so
Ruby@DL is using same photos as Alex@GFE. Does She work at both?
Different/more recent photos at VH, with tattoos ,but could be the same girl

[fbarge]

First and foremost - there is no fucking way on God’s earth that the picture on the website of April is the girl you will see. No fucking way. Facially, she looks like Olive from ‘On the Buses’. Furthermore, she’s got a right fucking belly on her. She has the same body shape as a Christmas tree - small at the top and big and fat around the waist. There is nothing sexy about her whatsoever. I was on th bed having a wank in the room waiting for April and getting well stuck into the poppers, when in she walks - I looked closely at her - physically, she reminds me of a buffalo trying to take a dump out of the back of a Toyota pick up truck.

Anyway, I thought I would give it my best shot. But unfortunately even though she seems like a decent enough girl, she knows absolutely fuck all about perverted sex. She really did not have a clue what to do with me. After 10 or so minutes of her fumbling around and not knowing what to do, I just called a halt to proceedings and said it isn’t working love. She seemed relieved to be honest - she goes ‘is it me’, and I’m like ‘well it isn’t me April’, so you work it out. As she was getting dressed I gave her £20for her trouble and let meself out. The receptionist went into a mild panic when I went through the lounge area. I think she thought I’d murdered April, and was going out to the car to get my body disposal kit.

April is a nice girl in the wrong job.

External Link/Members Only

I gotta say your reviews are poetry in motion - you should be a scriptwriter - very very funny and intelligent are you a journalist?

[hunkybc]

A great review