seeking.com - Open Topic

[Everhard115]

That sounds solid with 3 lined up and 1 showing up. Hopefully things went with the last one too

[extraa]

By transactional, I mean that you want something for your money. It might be sex free dates but you don't want to be left unsure what is going on with her while your subscription runs out.

We have contributed to the change. We can all join en mass and offer money for sex, but women don't have to accept it. By accepting it, they've justified men offering money for sex.

Brandon has also changed how SA works, from increasing subscriptions, tolerating online only and failing to advise sb's that guys pay to chat. All of these things are changeable.

Just important that we see that no single group has made it change.

Can I ask out of curiosity, I know SA is completely different to punting and being transactional and I am fine with the long game, but are you upfront in your messages with what you're looking for once on Whatsapp? I'm wondering if I should change my approach and chat to them for a bit first, I tend to be upfront to save everyone time if we're not on the same page but having a very hit and miss success rate.

[Cunning Punt]

Can I ask out of curiosity, I know SA is completely different to punting and being transactional and I am fine with the long game, but are you upfront in your messages with what you're looking for once on Whatsapp? I'm wondering if I should change my approach and chat to them for a bit first, I tend to be upfront to save everyone time if we're not on the same page but having a very hit and miss success rate.

Yes. But all this and much more is already on this and the other Seeking threads. I suggest you take time to go through and read through this thread, London and the Seeking thread in your area if there is one.

[stampjones]

Can I ask out of curiosity, I know SA is completely different to punting and being transactional and I am fine with the long game, but are you upfront in your messages with what you're looking for once on Whatsapp? I'm wondering if I should change my approach and chat to them for a bit first, I tend to be upfront to save everyone time if we're not on the same page but having a very hit and miss success rate.

I’d say its a judgement call and it depends what you want. There’s a wide range of girls from straight up AW prossies to non professionals looking for an older guy to treat them nice. For the former you can negotiate in the usual AW way for the latter its more of a long game. So it depends on what you want out of it and what sort of girl you’re talking to. I think you just develop an instinct after you’ve been doing it a while and get to know how play each one. Its just about being ready to adapt your style rather than having one fixed approach

[extraa]

Yes. But all this and much more is already on this and the other Seeking threads. I suggest you take time to go through and read through this thread, London and the Seeking thread in your area if there is one.

Thanks, It's been a great help but no one is really specific in what is working for them in messages - it's all very vague and hush hush.

I’d say its a judgement call and it depends what you want. There’s a wide range of girls from straight up AW prossies to non professionals looking for an older guy to treat them nice. For the former you can negotiate in the usual AW way for the latter its more of a long game. So it depends on what you want out of it and what sort of girl you’re talking to. I think you just develop an instinct after you’ve been doing it a while and get to know how play each one. Its just about being ready to adapt your style rather than having one fixed approach

I feel if i'm not upfront then I waste my time as most seem to want 'someone to talk to and provide loyalty for I'm a great listener etc etc' and online online. I find it a lot harder to transition if I'm not upfront, and on the other hand I am wondering if I have scared off 95% of the girls I message. I've already burnt out of all available girls in my area up to a 50km radius (most of Wales and South West Bristol/Bath).

[stampjones]

Thanks, It's been a great help but no one is really specific in what is working for them in messages - it's all very vague and hush hush.

I feel if i'm not upfront then I waste my time as most seem to want 'someone to talk to and provide loyalty for I'm a great listener etc etc' and online online. I find it a lot harder to transition if I'm not upfront, and on the other hand I am wondering if I have scared off 95% of the girls I message. I've already burnt out of all available girls in my area up to a 50km radius (most of Wales and South West Bristol/Bath).

Its really not that hard. Did you never direct a conversation in real life?
Chat for a bit. Ask how they’re getting on in SA. Ask what they’re looking for. That lets you say what you want. At that point you need to let them know you want sex. Whether you say “I want anal pounding with OWO, CIM and degradation” or you say “Im looking for something physical” depends on the girl. There’s no point messing around. If you havent discussed sex within a day max you may as well forget it imo.As to the non sex or pic sellers just ditch them straight away.

If you need practice, set yourself to london for a week and there are hundreds of girls to practice on. Its not even that far away if you want to meet some.

[datwabbit]

Thanks, It's been a great help but no one is really specific in what is working for them in messages - it's all very vague and hush hush.

The reason is because it's unique. Different men choose different women for different things. Different men chat in different ways. There's no doubt that your photo and the vibe you give about money will affect your conversation.

Have you tried a simple profile but chatting to different women different ways? See how they react.

I also can't believe you've run out of women.

[Jumping Jack Flash]

I think that on SA you need to change your approach to reflect your audience. It really is horses for courses.

If I’m chatting to a 19 year old who seems a little naive to what Seeking is about then I use a gentler approach than normal. If I’m chatting to an older woman who maybe has some sexy pics and is clearly looking for something physical then I’m much more direct.

One of my longest arrangements was with someone that I chatted to for about two months before we even met for a quick hello how are you. That particular woman was a great fuck, she just needed time and patience. Others, I’ve messaged and fucked within 24 hours. It really is about gut instinct, I trust my instincts and I’m rarely wrong about people.

[Brumish]

Some great advice there extraa. One thing I'd like to add that has helped me.in my long games. There are certain elements of my persona that I lie about. It's a bit like I've got a different but viable seeking life. I've also got a fairly rigid MO. I stick to that as much as I can so that I don't trip up in the months and years to come.
Above all, like others have said, be normal and conversational. Get onto Twitter and see how people react to certain things nowadays. Although at the back of mind, I'd love to get into the knickers in a flash, I make it out as though it's their choice and approval that's needed. Ultimately they will fuck if the price is right but until they have that stark reality in front of them.

[datwabbit]

Looking for advice on photos if you're fugly. Asking for a friend. Actually I'm asking for me 

Selfies or prop the camera away a few metres?
Anything else like location or angle?

I don't take many photos.

I just think it would be useful to have a photo.

[martini2429]

Just a heads up, Brandon is putting his prices up on 4 Jan 22, not sure what to but my guess is it will be over £100 for a one month membership

 

[stampjones]

Just a heads up, Brandon is putting his prices up on 4 Jan 22, not sure what to but my guess is it will be over £100 for a one month membership

 

That might be it for me. Ultimately the cost of membership is a small part of what I spend over a month on seeking but it really pisses me off, especially when he’s made the experience less fun with his various tweaks on the rules, app etc. I mean I guess I’ll probably stump up when I run out of numbers but there’s definitely a limit and he might be approaching mine

[datwabbit]

Just a heads up, Brandon is putting his prices up on 4 Jan 22, not sure what to but my guess is it will be over £100 for a one month membership

 

Beat me to it.

Question is, does it give you what you want? Given the number of those who won't meet or get cold feet, and add in those who don't reply quickly in a month, you'd need to either have lots of choice or be prepared to offer big early on.

I don't feel the NE is offering enough choice before even considering arrangements. However, the large cities might be different.

[tynetunnel]

Edit: this was meant for the closed thread!

[extraa]

I also can't believe you've run out of women.

I'm South Wales. So Unfortunately I have. I've been on before and met a couple. Besides the munters and aged over 40 not many new girls sign up here sadly so messaged pretty much everyone.

Thanks for the all tips guys. Will maybe try add a pic, I do normally send them one after chatting, but even perhaps if I send one with my initial message might help - thankfully I'm well dressed young and not bad looking. Then again I don't tend to do too bad on the response rate. It's just about getting it down to the meet where I get stuck. Got about 2 weeks left so will see how it goes. Thanks again!

[hungrypunt]

membership numbers goes down

membership cost goes up

tosser

[datwabbit]

Question...

How much would SA have to be per month before you don't subscribe? Let's say there's lots of women on there.

I wonder if human behaviour says the more you pay to subscribe, the more you'll pay for an arrangement to justify it. Plus you might be less tolerant of long conversations because it's more to waste.

[Brumish]

I suppose it depends on whether you can see any value in the price. I personally think it's still will be a great value even if it crosses the 100 threshold. As bad as it is nowadays with all the misguided ones on there.
The medium of SA prepares both parties to expect and be candid towards the ultimate eventuality. Yes you'll get a lot of flakers, piss takers and downright delusional ones but compared to AW, it's more valuable imo

[HomerC]

Looking for advice on photos if you're fugly. Asking for a friend. Actually I'm asking for me 

Selfies or prop the camera away a few metres?
Anything else like location or angle?

I don't take many photos.

I just think it would be useful to have a photo.

I would do well-lit and in focus, BUT obscure part of your face (maybe eyes OR nose/mouth).
I say this because A.I. makes it trivial to doxx you, if there are already photos of you anywhere on the internet.
If you don't care about people knowing you're sugar dating then you can just show your whole face, no problem. (It is becoming increasingly mainstream tbh.)

A photo helps. Even if you're a bit fat and bald, a pic will (hopefully) show that you're not hideous or morbidly obese.
And, well, if you ARE hideous then still show it, some women won't care as much because money.

Dress well, groom well.

[Hantsolo]

Tay
Portsmouth

Phone number 07903 026932

**** thief alert ****

1st time I’ve let my guard down and handed the money over 1st and I get fucked over.

She arrived at the hotel room and after telling me stories about how she’d been stitched up before I gave her half the money. She puts it in her bag, texts her “sister” a few minutes later and then there’s a bang on the door and some dodgy geezer is there shouting her name and asking what the fuck she’s doing.

He threatens to “chin me” and tells me he’s carrying a knife. Grabs her coat, she grabs her bag and they leave.

100 percent an act and clearly not the 1st time they’ve pulled this trick.

Am fucking annoyed!

[Link7]

^Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

[theHappyLondonPigeon]

membership numbers goes down

membership cost goes up

tosser

I'd have thought the opposite, too many men on there in relation to women, raise the price and keep their numbers in check?

I've noticed an increase in what is being demanded by SBs and thought this was possibly in part due to a greater number of SDs and choice for the SB.

[Hantsolo]

Tay
Portsmouth

Phone number 07903 026932

**** thief alert ****

1st time I’ve let my guard down and handed the money over 1st and I get fucked over.

She arrived at the hotel room and after telling me stories about how she’d been stitched up before I gave her half the money. She puts it in her bag, texts her “sister” a few minutes later and then there’s a bang on the door and some dodgy geezer is there shouting her name and asking what the fuck she’s doing.

He threatens to “chin me” and tells me he’s carrying a knife. Grabs her coat, she grabs her bag and they leave.

100 percent an act and clearly not the 1st time they’ve pulled this trick.

Am fucking annoyed!

Profile link

External Link/Members Only

[datwabbit]

I'd have thought the opposite, too many men on there in relation to women, raise the price and keep their numbers in check?

I've noticed an increase in what is being demanded by SBs and thought this was possibly in part due to a greater number of SDs and choice for the SB.

Membership is free and they don't need the money, it's literally spoiling, so I don't think its to do with having more SDs but more like no risk. Half the number of SDs and it won't change expectations. They'll just give up and go back to cheap blokes their own age 

[Cunning Punt]

Membership is free and they don't need the money, it's literally spoiling, so I don't think its to do with having more SDs but more like no risk. Half the number of SDs and it won't change expectations. They'll just give up and go back to cheap blokes their own age 

Spot on. This is the farce of it. These girls demand £300+, turn down anything less, get little or nothing then go back to the humdrum of their drab lives.

So instead of Option A:
The best sex they have every had plus the most engaging social company they have ever had with an intelligent, experienced older gent, plus drinks, food and £150-£200 in their handbag at the end of the evening...

they plump for Option B:
Dull, dumb boys their own age who are selfish and inept in the bedroom, pay them no attention because they're constantly staring at their phones and can't string two words together, plus are reluctant to even buy them a McDonalds.

Go figure.

[anotherwoody69]

External Link/Members Only

I wonder if she would polish my knob 

[Payyourwaymate]

Spot on. This is the farce of it. These girls demand £300+, turn down anything less, get little or nothing then go back to the humdrum of their drab lives.

So instead of Option A:
The best sex they have every had plus the most engaging social company they have ever had with an intelligent, experienced older gent, plus drinks, food and £150-£200 in their handbag at the end of the evening...

they plump for Option B:
Dull, dumb boys their own age who are selfish and inept in the bedroom, pay them no attention because they're constantly staring at their phones and can't string two words together, plus are reluctant to even buy them a McDonalds.

Go figure.

Why do you have so much contempt towards young men? We are all men here, we should be on each others side. I have no contempt towards older men. You were young once.

[HomerC]

Tay
Portsmouth

Phone number 07903 026932

**** thief alert ****

1st time I’ve let my guard down and handed the money over 1st and I get fucked over.

She arrived at the hotel room and after telling me stories about how she’d been stitched up before I gave her half the money. She puts it in her bag, texts her “sister” a few minutes later and then there’s a bang on the door and some dodgy geezer is there shouting her name and asking what the fuck she’s doing.

He threatens to “chin me” and tells me he’s carrying a knife. Grabs her coat, she grabs her bag and they leave.

100 percent an act and clearly not the 1st time they’ve pulled this trick.

Am fucking annoyed!

Commiserations. Fuck!

To be robbed and blue balled is so cruel.
Did you do a meet & greet with her first? Or direct to hotel?
How much did you lose? (if you don't mind saying)

I always give at the start to make them feel comfortable, but I do look for upmarket hotels with good security

[datwabbit]

Why do you have so much contempt towards young men? We are all men here, we should be on each others side. I have no contempt towards older men. You were young once.

He means about the young guys that sb's complain about.

[HomerC]

External Link/Members Only

I wonder if she would polish my knob 

She's seems very old, but fair play to her if anyone's interested

[Payyourwaymate]

He means about the young guys that sb's complain about.

Oh, fair enough then. It's just that I've seen him mention it many times and as a "young guy" I feel like he is talking about us all. Apologies then if that's what he meant.

[southcoastpunter]

I think CP is being over generous to us older guys when he suggests we provide the  "best sex they have every had plus the most engaging social company they have ever had with an intelligent, experienced older gent". Really? best sex and engaging company - maybe but "with intelligent older guys"? you don't necessarily think that if you read some of the contribtions on here (haha)

seriously when i have asked the 5 or 6 younger "seeking" ladies i have seen aged 19-24 why they like older guys, they have said it is mainly for the reasons given by CP about younger guys. So, there maybe something in what CP says! Not every younger guy, but maybe some/many guys in that sort of age range.

[Link7]

Pointless generalisations. Sexual ability, quality of company and intelligence are not directly proportional to age.

The most important reason women on SA seek older men is that they are more likely to have greater financial resources.

[Cunning Punt]

Why do you have so much contempt towards young men? We are all men here, we should be on each others side. I have no contempt towards older men. You were young once.

Eh? I clearly have no contempt towards young men. I don't care either way; in fact it actually helps us if women on SA have not had the best treatment from guys. And saying we should be on each other's "side" is an odd comment.

Pointless generalisations. Sexual ability, quality of company and intelligence are not directly proportional to age.

It may well be a generalisation and of course it's is not 100% but there is a great deal of truth in what I say, particularly in the age of mass porn and also mobile phones. So hardly pointless.

The most important reason women on SA seek older men is that they are more likely to have greater financial resources.

This is a generalisation in itself, so by your own yardstick, that's a pointless comment. 

[Payyourwaymate]

Eh? I clearly have no contempt towards young men. I don't care either way; in fact it actually helps us if women on SA have not had the best treatment from guys. And saying we should be on each other's "side" is an odd comment.

I see, I think understand part of your approach method now. Thanks. By "side" I meant in general a man should not really have to put down another man to get one over, even if he does not know him, that's just me though. For example in my interpretation of what I think your approach is, it's like saying if I was on SA and trying to convince a potential SB, I would say "would you rather deal with an unattractive old man who you cannot connect with and would be physically repulsed by having to pretend to be in to him? or would you rather deal with a man in your age range who will pay you well aswell etc..." Me personally I would never use that approach. However, from what you have said I can understand why it makes sense to approach them like that. I think I did not express what I meant in my post clearly before so apologies. I hope that clarifies, at least now I understand your method I will no longer say anything.

[Link7]

there is a great deal of truth in what I say.

Humble verdict. I happen to disagree; all I saw was a presumably old guy stereotyping. There are men of all ages lacking intelligence and/or without a clue in the sack, and vice versa.

This is a generalisation in itself, so by your own yardstick, that's a pointless comment. 

No it isn't. I simply made a statement about probability which (unlike what you said) is demonstrably true. External Link/Members Only

[Cunning Punt]

Humble verdict. I happen to disagree; all I saw was a presumably old guy stereotyping. There are men of all ages lacking intelligence and/or without a clue in the sack, and vice versa.

As ever, you miss the points and as ever, you presume wrong. I am not an old guy and one person's stereotyping is another's generalisation based on experiences and conversations. I never said all old men or all young men are one or other. But generally older guys will be more experienced and more attentive then the guys most girls will have met, certainly those who think they are worth lots of money - which was the original discussion point.

No it isn't. I simply made a statement about probability which (unlike what you said) is demonstrably true. External Link/Members Only

But within those statistics there will be young guys who have heaps of cash and older guys who don't. And in any case, that wasn't your whole point because you actually said the reason girls go for older guys is because of money, when there are other reasons as well and for some it may not be the main reason. So that is a generalisation.

And I never said it wasn't a right or a wrong generalisation, just that it was the same principle.

[Cunning Punt]

Me personally I would never use that approach. However, from what you have said I can understand why it makes sense to approach them like that. I think I did not express what I meant in my post clearly before so apologies. I hope that clarifies, at least now I understand your method I will no longer say anything.

Thanks for saying so but no need to apologise. 

You seem to be an extremely nice guy and am sure you are very attentive, so please don't take it personally. I was being colourful in making a general point, but hey it's a forum after all.

[Link7]

As ever, you miss the points and as ever, you presume wrong. I am not an old guy and one person's stereotyping is another's generalisation based on experiences and conversations. I never said all old men or all young men are one or other. But generally older guys will be more experienced and more attentive then the guys most girls will have met, certainly those who think they are worth lots of money - which was the original discussion point.

But within those statistics there will be young guys who have heaps of cash and older guys who don't. And in any case, that wasn't your whole point because you actually said the reason girls go for older guys is because of money, when there are other reasons as well and for some it may not be the main reason. So that is a generalisation.

And I never said it wasn't a right or a wrong generalisation, just that it was the same principle.

This is boring now (and what you said originally is completely different to what you now say above), but btw , saying that "x is more likely to be the case than y" is not a generalisation. It's a statistical observation.

On the other hand, saying that "x is the case" when it is not always so, or even necessarily often so, is a generalisation.

Imo there is no correlation between age and the three qualities you mentioned (sexual ability, intelligence and quality of company to women).

There is a proven statistical correlation between age and depth of financial resources, however.

[datwabbit]

I'm just thinking about the right time to rejoin. No discounts right now so I guess Brandon is banking on a rush before prices rise.

The NE region is getting a bit of stick and I'd say there's only about 40 sb's who are on regularly. If you're in a region that has gone downhill, what are you finding? Is it they don't read messages, take ages to reply, messages don't lead to numbers, numbers die out, expectations unreasonable?

[hungrypunt]

I'm just thinking about the right time to rejoin. No discounts right now so I guess Brandon is banking on a rush before prices rise.

The NE region is getting a bit of stick and I'd say there's only about 40 sb's who are on regularly. If you're in a region that has gone downhill, what are you finding? Is it they don't read messages, take ages to reply, messages don't lead to numbers, numbers die out, expectations unreasonable?

According to an SB I speak to but hvent seen for a while, the guys are dropping like flies too

[datwabbit]

According to an SB I speak to but hvent seen for a while, the guys are dropping like flies too

Whaaaaat???

What is wrong with men these days.

[Cunning Punt]

This is boring now (and what you said originally is completely different to what you now say above), but btw , saying that "x is more likely to be the case than y" is not a generalisation. It's a statistical observation.

On the other hand, saying that "x is the case" when it is not always so, or even necessarily often so, is a generalisation.

Imo there is no correlation between age and the three qualities you mentioned (sexual ability, intelligence and quality of company to women).

There is a proven statistical correlation between age and depth of financial resources, however.

I haven't changed my point at all, but you're not even reading what you write, let alone what others do.

Anyway, that aside, disagree with something fine, but you try to be clever and are snide, dismissing contributions eg describing them as 'pointless' and 'just an old guy stereotyping'. Just because sometimes we base a general point on experience, observations and conversations. rather than a direct statistic, it doesn't mean what we say has no truth or merit, or what we say is pointless.

So yes, it's boring because you are a bore, so I'll just let you talk to an audience of one and ignore you in future. 

[Chris1990mcr]

One thing is these girls are all using fuckin filters for their pics.
Every single one of them.

Some absolute bang average girls, or chubby black girls wanting £300 to meet and stuff.
It’s a bit silly tbh.

I don’t mind paying for a fuck but only for girls that are actually fit as fuck.

[Chris1990mcr]

Tay
Portsmouth

Phone number 07903 026932

**** thief alert ****

1st time I’ve let my guard down and handed the money over 1st and I get fucked over.

She arrived at the hotel room and after telling me stories about how she’d been stitched up before I gave her half the money. She puts it in her bag, texts her “sister” a few minutes later and then there’s a bang on the door and some dodgy geezer is there shouting her name and asking what the fuck she’s doing.

He threatens to “chin me” and tells me he’s carrying a knife. Grabs her coat, she grabs her bag and they leave.

100 percent an act and clearly not the 1st time they’ve pulled this trick.

Am fucking annoyed!

Weird to see this posted.
I don’t know if I’m getting older and more sensible but it’s something I’ve been a bit worried about happening.

I’m sure it can’t be common but what can we do to stop it.

[joe_lloyd99]

I’ve had a few meets now and I’ve always handed the money over at the end. Only one girl has asked to see it beforehand.

I make it clear via WA that it’ll be cash in an envelope at the end. It’s up to them at that point.

[Cunning Punt]

I’ve had a few meets now and I’ve always handed the money over at the end. Only one girl has asked to see it beforehand.

I make it clear via WA that it’ll be cash in an envelope at the end. It’s up to them at that point.

Good advice. I never even show them the cash. As you say, it's often best to make it clear via text that you provide the 'gift' discreetly at the end of the meet - and stick to your guns. I say this is because giving upfront makes the experience more transactional.

[HomerC]

I always give the money at the start, because women are more vulnerable (smaller and weaker), and they might stress that there actually is no money?

That may now change.

I do always pick hotels that require a room key (card) to even operate the lift. But some sneaky robbing duo could find a way around that.

[Chris1990mcr]

I always give the money at the start, because women are more vulnerable (smaller and weaker), and they might stress that there actually is no money?

That may now change.

I do always pick hotels that require a room key (card) to even operate the lift. But some sneaky robbing duo could find a way around that.

I suppose you meet in the lobby.

Head to the room together.

Hotel that requires a card to get in lift.

It’s a lot of effort to go to rob a couple of hundred quid between 2 isn’t it.

[Chris1990mcr]

Anyone met with a user with the name Luxeebz2021 Leeds based mixed girl.


Also is the other more active seeking thread possible to get added to now i am fairly active ?